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This won’t be my normal game thread opener because this isn’t a normal game. I’ll be scrapping the '5 Things to Think About' format for the playoffs. The normal game thread format developed out of necessity. There was a time when I was writing every single game thread opener and in desperate need of daily, relevant, game set up content. That content was not there without extreme repetition of the same points because things don’t change that much between game 47 and game 48. It was also a time when the team wasn’t playing very well… so those repetitive points were also depressing. It didn’t take long to realize that it just wasn’t sustainable. So, with the purpose of open…

Sure... monkeys look all cute and cuddly, especially when they shake their head no after being asked directions to the waterfall. But the truth of the matter is this: Monkeys can throw Grandma across the room. Monkeys are also fast and can easily outrun Grandma so she can't get away. There is no such thing as a Rally Monkey. Monkeys in reality... they will hunt you down and get on your back and make that awful screeching sound while they do it. We got Monkeys on the back of our youth. Does our youth know how to handle a monkey? Here are some things to think about: 1. The Gorilla in the Room -- I'm not worried about the 0-9 start. I continue to be worried about the …

Shakespeare sets the scene at the very beginning of Richard III. That’s right… I’m pulling out Shakespeare on the opening game thread of the 2017 season. Shakespeare uses a lot of fancy words with unnecessary apostrophes, but after someone explains it all to you, the realization is that our Twins are a lot like Richard III. "An Ace! An Ace! My Kingdom for an Ace." Like the soon to be King Richard, our Twins are introduced to us as deformed, unfinished, sent before their time into this breathing 2017 season. It is supposed to be a time of happiness, a time of peace, because our family troubles have come to an end with the removal of King Ryan but yet, here we are anyway,…

Happy MLB Draft Day 1, Twins fans! Since it became clear that the Minnesota Twins had the #1 overall pick in the 2017 draft, which happened fairly early last September, the fandom has been very excited about who the Twins might be able to add at the top of the draft. That day has come. This purpose of this article is to be a place for several draft-related resources and links, and a place for fans to keep updated of rumors and rumblings throughout the day. We ask that if you see an article online or a tweet with a rumor or nugget, that you post it in the comments below. At 6:00 central time, the draft will officially start. Moments later, the Twins will make their m…

I last wrote a game thread opener on October 3rd, 2017. After the conclusion of that disappointing loss to the Yankees, I turned off my brain for the off-season. All this week, I’ve known that I will have to crank it up again but I’m having a little trouble getting it started up after the long layoff. I know that I’ll need to pump a little fuel into the carburetor so I’ve been pushing the primer button (my nose obviously), but now I’m concerned that I’ve flooded it because I have a cold. Slight change to the format this year. I have run out of Cities and Towns to say strange things about so that will be replaced by a new crutch called the Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Sto…

At 2:05 a pitch will be thrown and the baseball season will be opened. The contents of what is inside will slowly spill out and bit by bit the contents will be revealed. We don't know the contents right now. We assume what the contents are but we really don't know. I'm hoping it's sunshine in a can. It might be dog crap in a can... I don't know... But I do know this. You open this can... it is certainly not a jack in the box that will surprise you. It comes out slow... It takes a while to identify it. Here are some things to think about!!! 1. Opening Day - Every Opening Day I type on this game thread opener that Opening Day should be a national holiday. So... I'm j…

First and foremost, there are literally hundreds of thousands of trade conversations that happen between teams throughout the season and especially as the end of July rolls around. If the Twins weren’t talking to every team about ways to improve their team, that would be extremely disappointing.Jim Bowden posted a piece called Anatomy of a Trade (Insider required) yesterday at ESPN and - to everyone’s surprise - it was fantastic. It discusses how trades come together and he goes through a hypothetical trade that takes place… and how it progresses over the course of nearly 40 days. This hypothetical trade ends with both teams coming to an agreement at the deadline. But y…

So yesterday, I said this: "Oh Tanner Roark, who are you? You're not a strikeout guy....." 15Ks later and Tanner Roark is suddenly Clayton Kershaw's long-lost son or nephew or something like that. In fact, the Twins struck out 18 times total yesterday which, in case you're new to baseball, is not good. But it's time to feel good because there's nowhere to go but up from yesterday. Wait, who's this Stephen Strasburg guy? Crap. It's the Sunday getaway game at 12:35 today, and the Twins bring Tyler Duffey to the hill in a spot start due to stiffness in Ervin Santana's back. We all know Duffey and how well he pitched last year after his promotion from Rochester. …

Inspired by the 3 game opening series sweep of the Kansas City Royals, my plan was to kick this thing off with a history of sweeping. My initial google search led me to a Washington Post article, “Roots is a sweeping history,” and that was not the direction I planned on heading. I continued to search but it became obvious that no one knows when sweeping started. There is a mention of the act of sweeping in the bible so I assume it has been around awhile. I decided to give up trying to sound like I knew something about such things. I rarely use a broom… I’m not even sure how you plug them in… and I’m a Twins Fan so it’s not like I’m getting a lot of sweeping experience tha…

World Series teams are not constructed during the off season. It's a process that continues as the season goes along. Baseball teams are always under construction and the Twins are already making repairs. Don't expect to drive around without detours and orange cones for awhile. For example... repairs to Sano in RF were already baked into the process. And the Twins should not have introduced those red jerseys. The new ones should have been yellow with reflective material. Here are some things to think about: 1. Lineupology -- There would be a temptation to place Sano at DH for a game after yesterday's adventures in RF. Actually there would be a temptation to remove al…

At 3:00 central time today, the annual non-waivers trade deadline will pass. The Twins already made one move. Thursday night, they traded Eduardo Nunez to the San Francisco Giants for Adalberto Mejia. Will they be able to reach any more trade agreements today?Several Twins players have had their names mentioned in trade rumors over the last couple of weeks. The player seemingly most likely to be traded before the deadline is catcher Kurt Suzuki. He has been mentioned in rumors for a month, and teams can always use a backup catcher. Suzuki is putting together one of his best seasons with the bat and has always had a strong reputation for working with pitchers. When Jon…

These are the days that test who you are as a Minnesota Twins Fan. Rough Start... Expectations not being met... and a small sample size. Do you start throwing babies out with the bath water or do you just keep washing this baby. All I know is that many of you have got the baby by both ankles and are looking for a place to dispose of it. I'm saying not yet because that's what Molly Ringwald would have done. 1. 0-6 -- I like to keep things loose. I'm not the type of guy who likes to focus on the bad stuff and I am constantly in search of the good stuff. It's just the way I am... I don't like feeling bad... I like feeling good. I like people who are happy and that's the …

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It was Tampa over the weekend and it's Miami tonight as the state of Minnesota gets visited by the state of Florida. This is unique because typically it is Minnesotans who snowbird their way to Florida for warmer climes. Floridians don’t come to Minnesota unless they are kidnapped, bound, gagged and stuffed into a trunk of a car traveling to Minnesota. The kidnapped, bound, gagged and stuffed into a trunk of a car part is a regular occurrence in Florida but the car actually traveling to Minnesota is something that just doesn’t usually happen. The 2016 Minnesota Twins are lot like Florida… surrounded by alligators with sharp teeth and strong jaws that clamp on and do t…

When Derek Falvey and Thad Lavine were hired around 18 months ago, Twins fans had no idea what they were getting but they are starting to find out. The combination is showing a creativity that has never been seen before. Having a bald eagle attack the opposing starting pitcher was brilliant, out-of-the-box thinking. They got the idea after watching what the Eagles did to the Vikings. It may not have worked to full intention but it is something that can be improved upon. After reading through the entire MLB rulebook, there is no provision that specifically prohibits wild animal attacks on opposing players. Ironically, a wild Siberian tiger will deliver the game ball to J…

Things will get back to normal tonight when the Twins open up a 3-game series in Tampa. By normal, I mean just a normal series in a normal location with no chance of abnormal weather changing plans. Don’t get me wrong… I had zero complaints about the 2-game series in San Juan. I was just implying it wasn’t normal because it wasn’t normal. Not normal is perfectly OK. In fact… I believe that MLB should choose a few more alternative sites to play some not normal regular season games. It may be shocking that I have some location suggestions but I actually do. Honolulu – It’s really hard for Hawaiians to see a professional baseball game. The closest major league city is San …

Neither the Twins nor the Yankees have much room to breathe. The Twins are currently 1.5 games behind the Orioles for the last wild card spot. The Yankees have the Blue Jays right behind them. That race is so close that almost feels like the Blue Jays are ahead of the Yankees. It's past the midway point in August and the games have a sincere value for both teams. The comfortable cushions are gone and the furniture needs some serious repair to be comfortable once again. Here are some Things to Think About: 1. Cushion - The Yankees were hot and now... not so much. They currently lead the AL East by a half game but the cushion they had is now like a pillow that has been …

The Twins are in Cleveland for a 3-game series with the Indians. We all know the situation but there will be no talk about the Twins being in until they are actually in. There are many common phrases that are in existence to warn against such things: You don’t count your chickens until... Someone asks you “how many chickens” you own and you want to answer accurately. Don’t cross that bridge until... You pay government ransom in the form of a toll. Everything comes to him who... Has a very limited amount of everything. Rome wasn’t built in... Bulgaria Here are some things to think about: 1. Ohio – With an equal mix of Republicans andDemocrats, every 4 years the stat…

The Oakland A’s come to town as our Twins kick off a brand new month of baseball. April would have to be considered a success since they won more than they lost. What will May have in store for us? We will have to wait and see but if it’s another winning month… I think it’s safe to say that the Twins will be in striking distance, while setting up an even more important month of June. June will be bigger than April and May in that scenario because June will determine what they do in July and once you reach July in contention… changes will be in store to set up the finish and then you got meaningful baseball in September. It’s like the Presidential Primary. April is Iowa …

I have never seen any organization shove the genie back in the bottle this fast... this hard... and this clumsily. That’s how I described the situation with the Twins in another thread and I think it’s pretty accurate. So much promise with all these young players that the Twins front office banked on it and now they are scrambling to re-set with players that basically became Twins because other teams were not that interested in them and they just happened to be available as a result of that lack of interest. Just like Captain Tony Nelson… that smoke coming out of the bottle after you rub it doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes it goes horribly wrong, but it’s pretty …

Before I move on to other things… I want to start by saying that today is Memorial Day. I want to lead with this because Memorial Day should not be forgotten. That wasn’t meant to be a pun… it was respect and a salute from the bottom of my heart. God Bless those who have served… God Bless those we have loved and lost. The Astros come to town and the Twins have to be tired. Six hours and 26 minutes of baseball is a long time to wear a jock strap without consequence. Six hours is a long time to do almost anything. It seems like it takes 6 hours for my wife to be ready as I stand by the door. I watched “The English Patient” once that seemed like 6 hours. Trips to the DMV se…

Our Twins are against the wind in many ways and they’ve decided to try running and now crawling against it. Build a team with Sano, Park, Dozier and Plouffe and listen to the manager talk about creating runs with base path traffic and aggressiveness and you are… against the wind. Fill your 40 man with youth and refuse to play it and you are… against the wind. Trying to pull everything while pitchers give you less and less to pull is another example of… against the wind. The strength of each team in the American League is a hard enough wind to face. This isn’t the light zephyr of the National League. The lyrics are being re-written… not the Bob Seger Song… but… the on…

“Total System Failure.” Those words spoken by owner Jim Pohlad are going to ring in our ears for a while. It’s an apt description for the 2016 Minnesota Twins thus far. Mistakes and failures large and small dominate our recorded history of the human race so the Twins are not the first and only… nor will they be the last. Mistakes are what inspired the songwriting of the Australian Band “Men at Work”. If I’m not mistaken… Here are some things to think about: 1. Christopher Columbus – Back in the year 1492… Columbus set out in search of an easier route to China and India because airline travel had simply become too cumbersome. His ship, the Santa Maria, landed on the s…

Happy Trade Deadline Day, Twins Fans! This should be a fun day as the Twins find themselves Buyers at the deadline for the first time in a decade. I fully expect the Twins to acquire at least one pitcher before today’s 3 p.m. (central time) deadline, but what if they don’t? What if they stand pat?On Tuesday night, Cleveland finally traded All Star starting pitcher Trevor Bauer. Typically that move would be seen as the team selling, but in this case, I do believe that they got better. They have pitching, and seem to keep calling pitchers up who do well. Shane Bieber and Zach Plesac are two guys who fit into that mold. They also should be getting Corey Kluber back in the ne…

All I did was sit on the couch for 5 hours and 56 minutes. Actually... I was watching Leicester vs Swansea before at 10:00AM, so it was more like 8 hours and 30 minutes on the couch. But... damn it... I was emotionally invested in that game... I wanted that win and we should have had that win and now I'm trying to pull myself together and move on like Baseball doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. But... I've still woken up dog tired. That game took a lot out of me... I can't help but wonder how much it took out of the players. Here are some things to think about: 1. Rosterology -- Roster changes are coming and I don't know what they will be... so I'm just go…

As the Twins travel to Chicago again to take on the hated White Sox, it’s the bullpen that is on most minds. It has been stunningly bad of late and in some serious need of immediate improvement. Without a good bullpen… the bulls get loose and that leads to innocent people getting gored and crushed. The Twins need a better bullpen for containment. Perhaps they should look to the farm. That’s where the best bullpens are built out of necessity. It was Pamplona at Target Field. The carnage was extensive. Here are some things to think about: 1. Chicago – I have written about Chicago time and time again over the years, and I’m running out of ideas… but the Twins are back… s…

The Twins will open a weekend series with the White Sox tonight. Things always seem to get strange with the White Sox and it is certainly strange days in the White Sox clubhouse right now. It has been strange to hear rumors of a possible Sale trade. Strange that they would consider trading Sale in the first place and also strange to see “Sale” and “trade” back to back in a functional sentence on any topic. Things got even stranger when Sale was abruptly pulled from a start last week. Everybody immediately assumed that it meant a Sale trade was about to happen but it turns out that he didn’t like the throwback jerseys and decided to cut them up with a knife as a last res…

Our Twins travel to Texas for a brand new series and this is good because the old series stunk. Yesterday was a horrible performance and I couldn’t help but think of a great performer because of it. Back in February of 1984, Bruce Springsteen thought his new album “Born in the USA” was done and ready for final production. After all, the band started recording material back in January of 1982 and after 13 months of on and off sessions, they finished 86 possible songs for this new album and some of those songs were pretty good. It was easy to assume that the album was ready but Manager Jon Landau didn’t think so. Bruce’s last release “Nebraska” was a great album but it was…

It’s big, four-game series that kicks off tonight in the Bronx as the Twins and Yankees go to battle in a series that could really help the Rays. Everyone is kind of numb in Twins Territory right now after the weekend in Tampa. If you look at it correctly… it can make you kind of proud. Contributing to charity should make you feel good because there are people out there who really need our help. The Rays came into the weekend 5-13 and now they have hope at 8-13. The Twins can continue to help the needy Rays by knocking the Yankees down a peg. This is all important to AL East people. We are okay over in the AL Central. Always remember it’s a marathon and not a sprint. H…

As we prepare for a home series with the Chicago White Sox there is something amazing happening that I need to let you all know about. I have this thing… I have a few things actually but specifically this one thing that is me. If I have been to a stadium… I buy a polo from that team and this collection of polo shirts have basically become my spring, summer and fall ward robe. It is mostly baseball teams but I have football teams and college teams if I have been to those stadiums. I have about 20 different team polo shirts and I have basically rotated them evenly with a new team each day. This is me… this is who I am and I know this is not that interesting so far but here …