July 29, 201610 yr The Twins will open a weekend series with the White Sox tonight.Things always seem to get strange with the White Sox and it is certainly strange days in the White Sox clubhouse right now. It has been strange to hear rumors of a possible Sale trade. Strange that they would consider trading Sale in the first place and also strange to see “Sale” and “trade” back to back in a functional sentence on any topic.Things got even stranger when Sale was abruptly pulled from a start last week. Everybody immediately assumed that it meant a Sale trade was about to happen but it turns out that he didn’t like the throwback jerseys and decided to cut them up with a knife as a last resort to prevent the team from playing a game in them. According to Sale… it had nothing to do with trade rumors… nothing do to with the ugliness of the jersey. He did it because they were uncomfortable to wear and he didn’t feel like he could pitch his best in them. Before he cut the Jerseys up… he told Manager Robin Ventura and pitching coach Don Cooper that the jerseys can’t be worn because it was messing with his mechanics. Since those pleas couldn’t stop the marketing machine… he took matters into his own hands and he destroyed the jerseys with a knife. This worked perfectly because he didn’t have to wear the throwback jerseys… or any jersey for that matter for 5 days because he was sent home with a suspension.From Disco Demolition to Chris Sale… this is just how it works with the White Sox.Here are some things to think about: 1. A Knife – A pocket knife can come in handy at times. Cutting up jerseys you don’t want to wear is just one example. A pocket knife is also very handy to have around when you have to open a box or cut some rope or cut some fishing line. Knives are also handy if you need to get out of a tent and you forgot about the flap.2. Bryan Adams – This Canadian singer songwriter was introduced to the world with the release of the single and album “Cuts like a Knife.” You all know the song and lyrics, “Na Na Nah Nana Nah Na Nah Na Nah.” Originally the lyrics were “Nahh Nahh Nah Nana Nah Nah (pause) Nana nah nah Hey Jude.” but Bryan had to change them up because he didn’t personally know anybody named “Jude.”3.Watermelon – Typically when you eat Watermelon you have to use a knife to cut it up. Although I remember a time when I had a Watermelon and no knife. I wasn’t sure how to get it open to enjoy the wonderful fruit inside but I remembered watching Gallagher handle his watermelon with a sledgehammer and I figured that would solve the problem… and it did. My wife came out of the house shortly after with the knife and was wondering why all of our backyard guests were covered in watermelon bits. To this day… she claims that I was impatient.4. Whittling -- There are some world class whittlers out there and if you wanted a wood carving of a giant whistle that looks like a small duck… there is a whittler who can create and sell it to you for $14.99. I myself have done a little whittling… I once took a branch and whittled it into a spear which I used to successfully hunt marshmallows.5. Knife Throwing – There are people in this world who can take a sharpened knife and throw it with such accuracy… that they can pop a balloon being held in someone else’s teeth… Granted… someone who is obviously dismissive of the dangers inherent in the whole scenario because I would never stand there. Let me repeat this… there are people in this world who can throw a knife with such accuracy… they can pop a balloon mere inches from the neck and face of a living human being. There are probably more than 30 people in the world who can do this with a deadly weapon while under the pressure of killing someone if they made a mistake. Yet… yet… we can’t seem to find 30 people who can kick a routine FG in the NFL.____________________Lineups:WHITE SOXAdam Eaton (L) RFTim Anderson [R) SSMelky Cabrera (S) LFJose Abreu [R) 1BJustin Morneau (L) DHTodd Frazier [R) 3BJ.B. Shuck (L) CFDioner Navarro (S) CTyler Saladino [R) 2BJose Quintana (L) PTWINSBrian Dozier [R) 2BRobbie Grossman (S) DHMiguel Sano [R) 3BKennys Vargas (S) 1BMax Kepler (L) RFEduardo Escobar (S) SSEddie Rosario (L) LFKurt Suzuki [R) CByron Buxton [R) CFRicky Nolasco (R] PGame-time forecast: 76 deg F, clear and sunny... until sunset, then it will be clear and waning crescenty, winds from the NE at 7mph.Keep your helmets on and play ball!Click here to view the article
July 29, 201610 yr Hmmm. A fire Sale fire sale.Thank you for the new theme I'll be doing on Saturday's game thread!
July 29, 201610 yr At this point, I believe there is only one logical thing to do: Send a semi load of those throwback jerseys to Sale. See if he throws another nutty and the White Sox see it as a need to trade him for ANYTHING!http://sportsmockery.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/2012-3-19-SoxShorts.jpg
July 29, 201610 yr Will Polanco finally play or is Escobar back healthy.?? . I really want to see what this kid can do.
July 29, 201610 yr At this point, I believe there is only one logical thing to do: Send a semi load of those throwback jerseys to Sale. See if he throws another nutty and the White Sox see it as a need to trade him for ANYTHING!http://sportsmockery.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/2012-3-19-SoxShorts.jpgThose are the most hideous jerseys I've seen on a baseball field. Shorts? Really?
July 29, 201610 yr At this point, I believe there is only one logical thing to do: Send a semi load of those throwback jerseys to Sale. See if he throws another nutty and the White Sox see it as a need to trade him for ANYTHING!http://sportsmockery.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/2012-3-19-SoxShorts.jpgI looked it up--they wore the shorts three times in the 1976 season. Thankfully, no other team has ever done that.
July 29, 201610 yr I looked it up--they wore the shorts three times in the 1976 season. Thankfully, no other team has ever done that.The facial expression of the guy on the right says it all. If we could read his mind, I'd imagine he's thinking "Am I playing professional baseball, or in a slow pitch softball league?"
July 29, 201610 yr The facial expression of the guy on the right says it all. If we could read his mind, I'd imagine he's thinking "Am I playing professional baseball, or in a slow pitch softball league?" Reminds me of one of the best lines Souhan ever wrote. He described Matthew LeCroy as a baseball player trapped in the body of a softball player.
July 29, 201610 yr The facial expression of the guy on the right says it all. If we could read his mind, I'd imagine he's thinking "Am I playing professional baseball, or in a slow pitch softball league?" I believe the guy on the right is Chet Lemon. Pretty good ballplayer if I remember correctly.
July 29, 201610 yr Will Polanco finally play or is Escobar back healthy.?? . I really want to see what this kid can do.I know Escobar is healthy, he started yesterday at 3B. I would guess the Twins rotate Escobar & Polanco at SS.
July 29, 201610 yr Those are the most hideous jerseys I've seen on a baseball field. Shorts? Really? Get the Steal Sign and sliding into 2nd ??
July 29, 201610 yr I remember when they wore those...I hated the Sox even back then and I loved the fact that they had to wear shorts! LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Bring them back. Please! OK, so if you were going up to the plate against Sale, would you have "Cuts Like a Knife" as your walkup? Mack the Knife? You Brought A Knife To A Gunfight? Any other suggestions?
July 29, 201610 yr Get the Steal Sign and sliding into 2nd ??In that uniform I'm refusing any steal sign from the 3rd base coach.
July 29, 201610 yr I remember when they wore those...I hated the Sox even back then and I loved the fact that they had to wear shorts! LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Bring them back. Please! OK, so if you were going up to the plate against Sale, would you have "Cuts Like a Knife" as your walkup? Mack the Knife? You Brought A Knife To A Gunfight? Any other suggestions?Got to be, "Cuts like a knife' and if I the guy who did music for an opposing team, I would actually play that song every time he took the mound. Like every inning. Edited July 29, 201610 yr by jimmer
July 29, 201610 yr I remember when they wore those...I hated the Sox even back then and I loved the fact that they had to wear shorts! LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Bring them back. Please! OK, so if you were going up to the plate against Sale, would you have "Cuts Like a Knife" as your walkup? Mack the Knife? You Brought A Knife To A Gunfight? Any other suggestions?'Flying Jelly Attack' by Shonen Knife...
July 29, 201610 yr 'Flying Jelly Attack' by Shonen Knife...I had to actually look that one up. Off the album Let's Knife! Play the entire album during warmups!
July 29, 201610 yr In that uniform I'm refusing any steal sign from the 3rd base coach. In that uniform, I'm offering to sit out...ouch! Hammy! DOH!
July 29, 201610 yr I had to actually look that one up. Off the album Let's Knife! Play the entire album during warmups!Glad you liked it. For the uninitiated, try Shonen Knife's bouncy cover of The Carpenters' "On Top of the World". It's a little bit like an American punk garage band hijacking a Manilla karaoke bar.
July 29, 201610 yr Glad you liked it. For the uninitiated, try Shonen Knife's bouncy cover of The Carpenters' "On Top of the World". It's a little bit like an American punk garage band hijacking a Manilla karaoke bar.LOL! That needs to be played during the other teams BP. If we can pipe it into their locker room, do it...it's just sooooo bad!
July 29, 201610 yr Nolasco on the bump tonight?!!! Here I was looking forward to watching the game. I need to say this to relieve stress......he SUUUUCKS!!!
July 29, 201610 yr No Polanco in the starting lineup tonight, Escobar at SS, Sano at 3B, Dozier at 2B, Grossman at DH. Awesome.... Polanco must have some seriously jet lag, or Molitor just isn't going to budge on doing what's right for this team and its development
July 29, 201610 yr I like the Twins lineup tonight. Coach Molitor has started grouping the slower players together. No word where Polanco is. Yet. 1. Brian Dozier ® 2B2. Robbie Grossman (S) DH3. Miguel Sano ® 3B4. Kennys Vargas (S) 1B5. Max Kepler (L) RF6. Eduardo Escobar (S) SS7. Eddie Rosario (L) LF8. Kurt Suzuki ® C9. Byron Buxton ® CF Never did like the Chisox... 1. Adam Eaton (L) RF2. Tim Anderson ® SS3. Melky Cabrera (S) LF4. Jose Abreu ® 1B5. Justin Morneau (L) DH6. Todd Frazier ® 3B7. J.B. Shuck (L) CF8. Dioner Navarro (S) C9. Tyler Saladino ® 2B
July 29, 201610 yr I looked it up--they wore the shorts three times in the 1976 season. Thankfully, no other team has ever done that.Yeah, it turns out that sliding in shorts really hurts a lot. Figures the White Sox didn't think of that.
July 29, 201610 yr I was looking forward to watching Polanco play tonight. I see i've been let down once again this season!
July 30, 201610 yr Yeah, it turns out that sliding in shorts really hurts a lot. Figures the White Sox didn't think of that.Plus that was in the mid-70's when all clothing was skin tight. Remember what basketball unis looked like then? Yikes!
July 30, 201610 yr Like I mentioned last night, the Twins have 26 games in July. They've won 13. So we know what one more win means for this month. Let's go, boys.
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