http://1000thingsnyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Zoltar-from-Big.jpg

 

ANNND Welcome! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line: FORTUNE TELLER Edition! I am Vanimal, the great gypsy, and I can grant your WISH for the next 2 days! Come see it too, no? Hope you brought many dollar bills to this game thread, because this gypsy does not work for free.

 

*Inserts $1*

 

Ahh, cheer up my friend. And listen to the proverbs of Vanimal. The Minnesota Twins will play a game tonight at 6:10 PM against, what you call, the New York Mets. Before I reveal weather and lineups, please, feed me money.

 

*Inserts $1*

 

It will be, what you call, partly sunny skies in New York City. 75 degrees F at first pitch. A little breezy, 9 MPH S.

 

Minnesota Twins (55-93)

 

 

P - Ervin Santana ® - 5 IP 3 H 1 ER 4K in his last start

 

New York Mets (78-69)

 

 

P - Seth Lugo ® - 7 IP 6 H 2 ER 5K in his last start 

 

 

My friends, there have been recent Twins players that have stopped by the booth to make a wish for their upcoming season in 2017. Would you like to hear more?

 

*Inserts $1*

 

Ah, yes. Vanimal will share his wisdom with you....

 

Byron Buxton: Come to me son, and let me reveal your fortune. *Inserts $1* Ah, yes, you are some sort of, professional baseball player yes? Give me another dollar, and tell me your wish. *Inserts $1* "I want to be able to hit any breaking ball coming my way." Good, my son. Now shoot this quarter into my mouth. YOUR WISH IS GRANTED....

 

Jose Berrios: I am Vanimal, the great gypsy. Let me reveal your fortune.... *Inserts $1* You are struggling in your professional life my son. Give me another dollar, and tell me your wish. *Inserts $1* "I want to be able to command all of my pitches." Mmmhmm. Shoot this quarter into my mouth and hold your breath. YOUR WISH IS GRANTED.....

 

Miguel Sano: Give me a dollar, I love dollars. And reveal your fortune.... *Inserts $1* You my son, have great strength... But you refuse to let the ball come towards you. For another dollar, your wish may come true! *Inserts $1* "I want to be able to field balls cleanly at third base." That's a fine wish. Do your best Kobe Bryant impression and shoot the quarter. YOUR WISH IS GRANTED....

 

Carl Pohlad: Yes, even you sir, need your fortune revealed. It's going to cost you extra. *Inserts $100* Vanimal is working overtime. You, young man, are conflicted with a great decision that needs to be made soon. Give me another $100, and tell me your wish. *Inserts $100* "I want to make the best hiring decision for President of Baseball Operations." Hmm, we all want the best decision. Better insert another $100 just to make sure. *Inserts $100* YOUR WISH IS GRANTED.....

 

Let's get a win Twins!

Photoshop contest:

Who will be the first to photoshop Buxton, Berrios, Sano, OR Carl Pohlad using Zoltar?

I'd guess Carl's wish would be to be among the living again.

I'd guess Carl's wish would be to be among the living again.

Haha good catch! That would certainly make for an interesting photo shop...

My final and enduring memory of Carl Pohlad was when I was working as a volunteer in a food stand in about 2002ish. The Twins were losing and Carl and Eloise were both covered up with faces visible and pushed to an exit by ushers.

 

My thought then was that ultimate wealth doesn't buy ultimate health. Eloise died within months of that day and Carl lived on, but apparently in failing health. I don't know if he made many public appearances in those last years.

I predict...

 

That sadly i won't catch too much of the game.

 

Do i get a dollar?

If Carl Pohlad is part of the decision making process for the new POBO......we're more hooped than I thought.

Thought this was real until Carl Pohlad entered the story.

I predict...

That sadly i won't catch too much of the game.

Do i get a dollar?

You get a dollar if you reveal the fortune of the game! What do your senses tell you, great sampleSize?

My final and enduring memory of Carl Pohlad was when I was working as a volunteer in a food stand in about 2002ish. The Twins were losing and Carl and Eloise were both covered up with faces visible and pushed to an exit by ushers.

 

My thought then was that ultimate wealth doesn't buy ultimate health. Eloise died within months of that day and Carl lived on, but apparently in failing health. I don't know if he made many public appearances in those last years.

Yes. I too saw Me. Pohlad near the end of his life. Nice man, said hi back to me yet he looked so frail. Millions don't matter in the long run, enjoy life while you can

547: "my life is endless trouble.

But you, Achilles,

There's not a man in the world more

Blest than you -

There never has been, never will be one.

Time was, when you were alive, we Argives

Honored you as a god, and now down here, I see,

You lord it over the dead in all your power.

So grieve no more at dying, great Achilles.

 

I reassured the ghost, but he broke out, protesting,

No winning words about death to me, shining Odysseus,

By god, I'd rather slave on earth to another man -

Some dirt-poor tenant farmer who scrapes to stay alive -

Than rule down here over all the breathless dead.

 

(Odyssey, book 11, Fagles transl.)

 

Yet again, Homer has the answers to everything.

Vanimal *inserted my 10-cents* I want ALL the players to remember how much fun the game of baseball really is. Men playing a game for kids, by kids and with kids. Throwing the ball, hitting the ball, running the ball, and trying to sneak the ball past batters. At times, forget the video tap,e the statistics, the words of coaches and just play the game. 14 more games - HAVE FUN. Wish is granted.

Vanimal *inserted my 10-cents* I want ALL the players to remember how much fun the game of baseball really is. Men playing a game for kids, by kids and with kids. Throwing the ball, hitting the ball, running the ball, and trying to sneak the ball past batters. At times, forget the video tap,e the statistics, the words of coaches and just play the game. 14 more games - HAVE FUN. Wish is granted.

Your wish is granted, Rosterman! I hope they do remember that it's a game and it should be fun. The same thing goes for us as fans. We may disagree about how to get back to relevancy and what to do for the future. But this is supposed to be fun for us too! Even in a historically bad season.

Twins:

 

Brian Dozier® 2B

Joe Mauer(L) 1B

Jorge Polanco(S) SS

Max Kepler(L) RF

Eduardo Escobar(S) 3B

Eddie Rosario(L) LF

Byron Buxton® CF

Juan Centeno(L) C

Ervin Santana® P

 

Mets:

 

Jose Reyes(S) 3B

Asdrubal Cabrera(S) SS

Yoenis Cespedes® LF

Curtis Granderson(L) CF

Jay Bruce(L) RF

T.J. Rivera® 2B

James Loney(L) 1B

Rene Rivera® C

Seth Lugo® P

Where's everybody at? I can't be the only loser whose wife is out of town who is watching the 55-93 Twins instead of doing something fun, can I? Can I?

Is there no one else to see that ridiculously ridiculous call? 

 

No one?

Is there no one else to see that ridiculously ridiculous call? 

 

No one?

Not challengable, for mysterious reasons.

There's at least one other loser around, avoiding moving the contents of the kitchen cupboards and drawers back into the kitchen after the painters finished. 

 

There are worse things than watching a pathetic team get shafted by bad calls.

New Mets promo announced for tomorrow's game: Jacob Degrom Elbow Day. A Mets jersey sleeve with a fake latex ulnar collateral nerve dangling from it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://cdn.newsday.com/polopoly_fs/1.12330586.1474144294!/httpImage/image.jpeg_gen/derivatives/display_600/image.jpeg

 

 

I'm sorry Jacob. Too soon? Ok, too soon.

 

In all seriousness, it there is such a thing in a game thread, crappy break for the Mets and mostly for Degrom.  He's not just a fantastic pitcher when healthy, he's boatloads of fun to watch.  Get well soon, JG.

 

 

Where's everybody at? I can't be the only loser whose wife is out of town who is watching the 55-93 Twins instead of doing something fun, can I? Can I?

So you're saying this isn't going to be fun? I mowed the lawn and worked on the deck today, so the bar is set pretty low.

 

So you're saying this isn't going to be fun? I mowed the lawn and worked on the deck today, so the bar is set pretty low.

 

Well Santana is pitching. The bar could be set way lower.

We'll have fun, fun, fun...

 

"Residue from a prior injury." Curious turn of phrase, Dick.

For no particular reason, I've always liked Jay Bruce's game, and even though I would have rather seen him come to a competitive Twins team at the deadline than struggle with the Mets, at least he got out of CInci and has a good shot at the playoffs.

 

Plus I love that ELO song... 'Brrruce!  Don't bring me down!'

 

 

What? What are you guys laughing at?

Hey, Rene Rivera is still a thing.

 

He's definitely fatter now...

Oh wow! Kevin James!

 

Said no one ever.

Wow, nice hit. I guess we don't have to worry about Santana doing a Harvey Haddix on us!

Dick: "The eighth Twins hitter (including Nunez) to hit 10 or more home runs this year!"

 

Elliptical subtext: "And yet..."

 

We'll have fun, fun, fun...

 

Or, with Berrios on the mound...

 

"I'm gonna have me some fun! I'm gonna have me some fun!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh wow! Kevin James!

 

Said no one ever.

Mrs. Kevin James didn't like this.

Edited September 18, 201610 yr by LaBombo