Blake

Took me a bit, but probably because I have trouble with 2 + 2.

Just because.

Disclaimer: The author has been chided for his use and abuse of his electron quota. Please know that we of the Game Thread Guild, Opener Division, take our responsibilities seriously and have a jaundiced view of those who abuse their electron privilege. The author has been duly warned that continued flouting of the rules may include suspension of access to electrons. Thank you for your patience as we work through this delicate issue. -Charles M. Volt, second chair, electron division, Game Thread Guild.

After mailing in the last thread (FYI, trying to FedEx electrons to TD is marginally easier than herding cats. Marginally.) I decided to put some thought and effort into this game thread series opener. ("game thread series opener" is a trick to increase word count because, nothing says "lots of thought went into the opener" quite like a bunch of words on a screen) What was interesting about the "mailing it in" start of the game series thread openers was the Twins sweeping Texas, and, apparently, Tony Diaz switching uniforms so he could show Texas the proper way to run their way out of innings. Which brings us to today, Twins taking on the White Sox, a team the Twins have handled pretty well this year. Unfortunately, though, I cannot engage in my usual mockery of Sox fielding, due to the Twins have their own problems when it comes to catching the ball. Curse you Twins, for taking some of my best material from me! (Now there is a batting practice comment. There will be points awarded to best riff) The also-rans get: And, due to someone pointing out the obvious, we shall toss up some food for thought: 1: New York or Ribeye?2: Bacon or Ribs?3: Veronica or Betty?4: Mashed or Baked? Speaking of baked: 5: Mel or Russell? (can't forget the ladies!) Lineups: 6: Play ball! I waited just so I could get the lineups into the game thread, but the Twins left it really late!

*um... how does one date a star? ------ Very carefully, I would imagine.

It's a balmy 104 here.

Not sure what happened, but it took a long time for this post to go through.

Disclaimer: Any and all indications the author is completely out of ideas is erroneous and, dare I say, almost libelous! With that, I bid you good night, sir! Wile E. Coyote, esq.

Unfortunately, or, fortunately, depending on your view of my game thread openers, this one isn't much more than a "mail it in edition." *Internet 101: When in doubt, go for the kitten. But, when things seem bleakest, there's always music to pick you up: *Recorded at the old Blues Alley, Minneapolis, Good times, good times. The Twins are at Texas for a 4 game series, and, since the race in the Central has heated up, should be a good chance for the Twins to gain some ground on Cleveland. It's crunch time and we've got a barn burner of a race for the division title this year. And, with that, we go to the 5 things that should, or should not, be mentioned: 1. Parkay or Butter? 2. Skim or Whole milk? 3. Cheese or Cheez Whiz? 4. Coke or Pepsi? Lineups: 5. Play ball!

Disclaimer: Due to the rushed nature of this post, the author denies and responsibility for anything in this post, unless, of course, for some reason, people like it. Then, It's mine. Management 101: All of the credit, none of the blame! Thank you. It's the American way!

Well, the day managed to slip away, because, for some reason, work decided that I should actually work at work, rather than look at baseball stuff and think about game threads. The nerve! I shan't go over history, because it's over and done with. Instead, I plan to take each day, one at a time, put forth my best effort, and let the chips fall where they may. Now that the standard platitudes are behind us, I hope the Twins get after it and battle their tails off the rest of the season. It's a race and the Twins are contenders! And, because things are running way behind, it's time to put some random thoughts down: !. What was Diaz thinking? 2. What was Diaz thinking? 3. What was Diaz thinking? 4. What was Diaz thinking? Lineups: 5. Play ball!

What annoys me is, as a fan, I'm not paid to know better than to send Adrianza, yet, even I knew better. Usually, I shrug stuff off, but some things I find to be inexcusable and sending Adrianza with only one out is definitely one of them.

I"m willing to be Diaz didn't get much sleep last night.

This is really disappointing. I really thought this team would be up for this game and, instead, they're flat. Uggh.

Barely over 50% strikes for Mr. Gibson. What in the world?

And yet, compared to other play by play guys, he's not bad. Probably wasn't much comfort now, was it?

Let me toss this out there: The FO knew they needed to find some help for the bullpen, but, due to the lack of success of the team in prior years, coupled with a new FO, it was difficult to attract premium arms. As an example, look how the FO put together the starting rotation this year, with Pineda and Perez. The team turned out to be very successful and did a lot more than just take a step forward, it took a leap forward. The FO made a couple of good deals to get what they thought would be good solid additions to the bullpen. So far, Romo looks really good, but, unfortunately, Dyson looks equally bad. This is an atypical team in a very atypical year. It will be interesting to see how things play out. It's been a fun season and a wild ride, none of which was expected, by anyone, this year.

Plasticine

And, of course, I put Central Time in code. Ah well. Maybe a mod would be so kind as to not hold down the shift key and replace the ampersand with a "7?"

Disclaimer: This disclaimer is about disclaiming the disclaimer because the disclamer has been disavowed. Please remember, any and all actions, should they be discovered, will be disavowed by the moderators. Thank you, and please remember, only you can prevent disclosing of disclaimers. ...Name redacted for purposes of security.

After the fiasco of the last thread, pro tip: don’t do something that stands out, otherwise people develop expectations, I realized that I needed to see if I could bring a bit more culture to Twins Daily. Well, okay, not so much realized as had a couple of people think poetry was on the groovy side.* ** *By fiasco, I mean something people wish to see more of. Unless they were just humoring me, in which case, the jokes on them! **What do mean it's not culture? Says, "Culture Club" right there! Now, for the groovy part:* *What do you mean Bruce Campbell and "The Evil Dead" isn't groovy? Diamond Dreams I gaze upon a field of shimmering green, And, with wondering eyes will have seen, Large men with bats that strut and preen, Youths lean forward with eyes full of wonder, White baseball tear the very air asunder, Players swing bats and make sound like thunder. The crowd doth roar and holler with delight! The home team wins, all go home happy this beautiful night! Some random thoughts. (You actually got this far? I'm impressed with your ability to battle your tail off and get after it!) 1. If I could have pulled off Iambic Pentameter, I would have. Unfortunately, I have no idea what that even means. 2. Free verse was also an option. Just as quickly, it became not an option. 3. Limericks are passe. 4. Haiku was done in the comments last time. Oh, wow, there's absolutely no baseball in this opener. What to do, what to do? Ah, I know, Lineups: Make no mistake about it. this is a huge series and will probably set the tone for the rest of the season. These are two very good, but flawed, teams. I am really looking forward to the series because I expect it should be some high drama baseball. 5. Play Ball!