Archived Game Threads

Preface: This is the first time I've ever been asked to write a game thread intro! Can you believe it? Over 18,000 posts at this site, and not one of them has been invited -- until now! In keeping with this momentous occasion, I have breaking news to share: according to team sources, the Twins poor performance so far this season has actually been intentional. The team was attempting to replicate the situation faced by the old hapless Washington Senators, and thereby attract the attention of the Devil to make a deal, à la Damn Yankees (the musical and film, not the rock supergroup). However, the Twins now believe that such a deal if off the table, as the Dev…

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6is4YiU9dfQ/UdJbMqOLtwI/AAAAAAAABkU/yce6Or1Mivc/s1600/CanadaPersonified.jpg ANNND Welcome! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line: Eh? edition! I am your host and friendly Canadian, Vanimal! The Twins play Toronto again, and they'll just give'r today. Who knows, maybe they'll win again! But most likely it will be a gongshow like normal... Before we talk about a baseball game, I want to chirp at Toronto! Q: How do you get a group of Canadians out of a swimming pool? A: (In a calm, composed voice) "All Canadians out of the pool, please." Q: How many Torontonians does it take to change a light bulb? A: 6.5 million. One to change it, and the res…

I woke with a start and realized I had a game thread due today. Fortunately, the door to my office was closed so I had some privacy as I consulted my zzzz's, I mean, muse. I wonder if I can claim workers comp because I slammed my knee into my desk when I awakened? This season started out so well and the game second game in Puerto Rico was a regular season game for the ages. Since then, our home town nine has fallen into the doldrums. But, never fear, we're going to be cheerful in the face of adversity because we're baseball fans. Why? Because no one knows how to blamecast quite like baseball fans. We're very adroit when it comes to blamecasting. Disclaimer: Do…

Everything i know about Kansas City, i learned from popular music (well, once upon a time it was popular) "Everything's up to date in Kansas City... they went and grew sky scraper 7 stories tall, about as high as a building aught to grow!" "goin' to Kansas City, Kansas City here i come... They got some crazy little women there and i'm gonna get me one" (and i'm sure there are more, but i am under the clock) Kansas City isn't in Kansas any more. (Pretty sure they play in the Missouri side, right) Just round the time they were discussing statehood, weren't there some minor disagreements that John Brown was involved in? I …

ANND Welcome back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line on a Sunday. We had a TON of foot traffic at the Minnesota Twins Used Car Lot yesterday! Unfortunately the 1984 Kintzler Closer and 2010 Abad Lemon malfunctioned yesterday on their test drives, causing the Twins to lose in extra innings. Please come back and buy these cars other teams... We promise they don't always act up like this! For those like me that need a quick recap of what happened yesterday, check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XekZd7sxRgw Today the Twins and the White Sox are at it again. Carlos Rodon will be pitching in his first game since July 5th, where he got roughed up against the New York…

I've been trying to come up with a reason why the Twins have had such trouble with the Yankees over the years. I've gone through a dozen theories and each one has been discarded for one reason or another. Finally, I think I hit on the real reason: Broadway. I think the Big Apple (as opposed to the Minneapple..yes, I lived in MN during that campaign) and Broadway have combined to seduce our starting 9 into thinking their true future lies with the lights on Broadway. How do I know this? I recently caught this exchange between a couple of players: (names have been concealed, for obvious reasons) Player 1: As he smooths his well-coiffed locks, "I've been approached by Axe…

Lineups: Twins: Brian Dozier 2B Joe Mauer C Ryan Doumit RF Josh Willingham DH Justin Morneau 1B Trevor Plouffe 3B Oswaldo Arcia LF Clete Thomas CF Pedro Florimon SS (Kevin Correia P) White Sox: Alejandro de Aza CF Alexei Ramirez SS Alex Rios RF Adam Dunn DH Paul Konerko 1B Conor Gillaspie 3B Dayan Viciedo LF Gordon Beckham 2B Tyler Flowers C (Chris Sale P)

Another day, another game thread. But, is it just another game thread? I think not, because the Twins have a chance to sweep KC and maybe get a little payback for what the team has endured at the hands of the Royals this year: *Classic James Brown. Watching the game yesterday, it was nice to see the Twins get in the swing of things: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Il8ZC3O64AU *Dire Straights and "The Sultans of Swing." Sort of like the Twins this year and last night. So, I've got the first part, and the second part and, now for the outro in which I head off into the sunset: *Okay, so, my segue didn't really go with the music. Deal. Well, with that, …

Haven't i read this somewhere before?

Memorial Day Weekend My dad, “Ten-Cent” Harry and Gib “The Mutilator” took me and two of my brothers and two of the Mutilator’s boys to our first Twins game at Metropolitan Stadium way back in 1961. “Ten Cent”, who’d acquired his nickname by always betting ten cents whether he had a good poker hand or not, was one of my many uncles and “The Mutilator” was one of my dad’s WWII Army cronies. He’d gotten his nickname because of his penchant for mutilating the English language. The eight of us packed into the Mutilator’s 2-door Ford and made the two-hour drive to the Met, us young’uns bouncing around like pinballs in the back seat, seat belts hadn’t been invented yet, rep…

This is my first game thread and I’m a little intimidated. There’s such a rich tradition of creativity here! I shouldn’t be nervous, it’s just words. I like words. I like to play with words. For example, in the car I’m always playing with the 3 letters on the license plate in front of me, looking for the shortest word that uses them in the given order with as few intervening letters as possible. (Try it, it’s fun.) One of my favorite “word games” is taking familiar phrases or quotations and adding, omitting, or changing one letter to make something interestingly different. For example, I routinely pass up the sample carts at Costco by invoking the maxim “Taste not, …

Twins | 56-63 overall, 35-24 at home, 5-5 last 10 Ervin Santana, RHP | 6.53 ERA, 1.45 WHIP, 2.33 K:BB in 20.2 IP Tigers | 50-71 overall, 18-41 on the road, 3-7 last 10 Francisco Liriano, LHP | 4.42 ERA, 1.45 WHIP, 1.38 K:BB in 95.2 IP Lineups: https://twitter.com/Twins/status/1030185712111546368?s=19 Additional Notes: The Tigers have only won three of their last 12 games, though two of those came against the Twins, who they’re 5-4 against this season. Liriano has given up 19 earned runs in 30 2/3 innings pitched (5.58 ERA) against the Twins over his career. The Twins have the fifth-worst OPS against left-handed pitchers in baseball (.667). Logan Forsythe is 5-for-10…

Game Thread, Twins @ Tigers, 5/14 @ 12:08 pm CT Today Hrbowski and I are doing the opposite of what we did yesterday; he'll post the lineups and weather report after I give you your Five Things to Think About (yeah, I decided that this is the best format to use, though at first I thought that I'd try to be original, but that just didn't work out quite how I wanted it to - I mean, I'm still pretty proud of my Take Me Out to the Ball Game OP, but if I did that every time...well, that'd be a lot of repetition going on here, so...). 1 - The Playoff Race - Here we are, approximately 1/5th of the way into the season, and the Tigers can see us alarmingly close in their r…

How not to write a game thread intro... 1. Proof is in the reading: But what proof? > 100 is inflammable, so i am told. A little floats while too much capasizes. As a close approximation, i am a teatotaller, so i wouldn't know. I just like old Jackie Chan movies... But no one will follow if you don't make sense. QED 10. Numbers are important. Especially in comparing things particularly if they are very fine, of course. 11. Context. Millenium hand and shrimp! 100. Take your time. Haste makes waste. It is not like someone is trying to double your game thread up... 101. Bring it home. The baseball is round. And you score if you end where you begin. Chang…

Ideas, ideas, my kingdom for an idea. Or even a clue, for that matter. I was going to mail it in with this game thread, sort of like the Twins do when they play at home, but, since the Twins, when on the road, tend to go “Mad Max” I decided I best try to put up something coherent. (yeah, yeah, I know, first time for everything) I mean, seriously, what team gets clobbered at home then turns around and clobbers the team that just clobbered them? Okay, yes, the Twins do just that, but still, really? I've gotten to the point this year I look forward to the Twins going on the road. I cannot emphasize just how much fun this year has been. Baseball tends to be weird but the …

Good morning/afternoon, Twins fans! A two-game winning streak has rekindled a few embers of optimism in Twins-world. Is three in a row too much to ask? * * * Today I’d like to throw out the following discussion topic, which is related to the Twins for those who weren’t born into Twins fandom. How do/did/should you pick a favorite team when obvious factors such as geography don’t matter? I am a Twins fan because I was 7 years old when the Senators moved to Minnesota and it was obvious that our family should switch allegiance from Cleveland (where my father was born) to the new local nine. Similarly for the Vikings and the other Minnesota sports franchises wi…

Good Evening, aTwinsFanInMaryland here again and happy to bring you tonight’s game thread. Your (15-10) Minnesota Twins take on the (9-16) Baltimore Orioles at Oriole Park @ Camden Yards in the finale of a 4 game series. Last night was rough so let’s hope tonight is more fun! The Twins have a chance to win the four game series. They will have to do it without manager Rocco Baldelli and players Luis Arraez (not in the original lineup) and Dylan Bundy (pitched last night) Roster Moves: As previously mentioned Luis Arraez & Dylan Bundy placed on the COVID-19 protocol list. No immediate roster moves willed by made to replace them due to the time crunch. Expect moves …

The Pitchers: RHP Matt Shoemaker (2-3, 6.43 ERA, 19 K's, 28 IP) vs RHP Frankie Montas (4-2, 5.50 ERA, 35 K's, 36 IP) Shoemaker was good his last time out against the Tigers, which is the most recent game that the Twins won. However, his last start at home saw him get roughed up by the Royals, allowing 9 runs in just 3.1 innings pitched. Shoemaker has been the Twins worst starter, but the veteran right hander should be able to improve to his career norms. Montas, a hard throwing righty, beat the Rays last time out. Frankie was suspended for 80 games in 2019 for PEDs. He relies on a sinker 4 seam combination, which sit in the upper 90s. He works a slider off those…

The Tigers and Twins kick off the second game of a 3-game series tonight, after a walk-off victory to begin the series yesterday. By June 2nd, the Twins will have played the Tigers in 8 out of 12 games. If you aren't sign of the Olde English "D" yet, we all will be. The big acquisition news coming out of yesterday is the addition of a Gong to the Twins clubhouse. I guarantee there will be some merch to commemorate this Gong, and I am all for it. Replace the Bomba Siren! THE MATCHUP: RHP Sonny Gray (1-1) 3.48 ERA, 20.2 IP, 25K, 1.26 WHIP vs. RHP Beau Brieske (0-3) 5.13 ERA, 26.1 IP, 15 K, 1.33 WHIP The matchup strongly favors the Twins he…

Game-time forecast: Sunny. Winds blowing in from left field at 5-10 m.p.h. Temperature around 70. ChiTown will be along with the lineups. She will post them right here. Official Scorebooks can be found at your local sporting goods store. Get a book and enter the lineups in and play along at home. Ignore what the official scorer does. Use your own judgement. TWINS: SP, Pino Danny Santana CF Brian Dozier 2B Trevor Plouffe 3B Josh Willingham LF Kurt Suzuki C Kennys Vargas DH Oswaldo Arcia RF Chris Parmelee 1B Eduardo Escobar SS PALE HOSE: SP, Carroll Adam Eaton CF Gordon Beckham 2B Jose Abreu 1B Adam Dunn DH Alexei Ramirez SS Conor Gillaspie 3B Dayan Viciedo RF Al…

Forty years ago tonight, my oldest niece was conceived. How do I know? Well, I was an impressionable 11-year-old boy from the farm, on my first trip to the big city with my sister and her husband of almost three years. We had a two-room suite at the motel, and I was to sleep on the couch in the “living room.” At some point, I got up to pee, so I had to go through the bedroom. Imagine my shock when I went in to the room and saw them in the same single bed, when there were clearly two beds available. “Dude,” they said in surprise. “You’ve got to knock!” Traumatized, I stumbled into the bathroom, probably misfiring from my anxiety. When I went back to bed, I likely l…

It's been a busy day for injury/COVID updates, all ahead of what is looking like a great pitching matchup. The young Joe Ryan takes on the future Hall-of-Famer, Justin Verlander. Before today's matchup, the Twins made quite a few moves. 1. Chris Paddack and Carlos Correa to the 10-day IL Chris Paddack is getting a second opinion on his elbow, and that's never great news. According to Do-Hyoung Park, Paddack feels how he did when he sprained the UCL last September. If there's a tear, it would be his second Tommy John. There's a lot of quick takes on if the Twins lost the Rogers-Paddack trade, but let's wait until a decision is made. The Twins also have …

Catch-Up What if I told you being tied for the best start in club history was not the leading headline for the Twins yesterday. What if I also told you Eddie "Destroyer of Junkballs," Rosario wasn't the leading story either after two awesome RBI singles. The leading story centers around arguably the most peculiar delay in baseball history, a drone hovering over Target Field. Despite this, the Twins pushed forward to route the Pirates 7-3 thanks to a good bounceback game from Berrios, timely hitting again, and Jake Cave see below. Where to Listen WCCO 830, TIBN Where to Watch Fox Sports North Starting Pitchers Minnesota: Randy Dobnak*, 1-1, 1.00 ERA, 9.0 IP, 1.11 WH…

Game-time forecast: Partly cloudy. Winds blowing in from right field at 5-10 m.p.h. Temperature around 80. TWINS: SP, Hughes Santana CF Dozier 2B Mauer 1B Vargas DH Arcia RF Plouffe 3B Suzuki C Escobar SS Schafer LF ROYALS: SP, Hendriks Aoki RF Escobar SS Gordon LF Butler 1B Perez C Ibanez DH Moustakas 3B Colon 2B Dyson CF ------------------------------- It's kinda quiet in here... I suppose I should just dive in and make some noise. Things to Thinks About: 1. Quick and Easy -- It felt a little shocking the way last night's game ended. We had a 1-0 lead in the 9th and Perkins on the mound... That's supposed to be a done deal. With one swing of the bat... Alex Go…

Twins: Clete Thomas RF Jamey Carroll 2B Joe Mauer DH Justin Morneau 1B Ryan Doumit C Oswaldo Arcia LF Aaron Hicks CF Eduardo Escobar 3B Pedro Florimon SS (Kevin Correia P) Rays: Desmond Jennings CF Luke Scott DH Ben Zobrist 2B Evan Longoria 3B James Loney 1B Wil Myers RF Kelly Johnson LF Jose Molina C Yunel Escobar SS (Jeremy Hellickson P)

Once upon a time in Twins Territory there were three men who were known as Jeff, Dick, and The Holy, Holy Vicar, but if it was their names that were the reason that they became famous they would have been a boring trio, which was not the case, so let's get started with the story. Jeff was known as a respectable working man with long hair, a large beard, and a pine tree in his front yard that was rotting out at the base. His neighbors didn't exactly like him, due to his loud music and fireworks that he shot off at their houses, but all people have their annoying habits, and that is what makes us so interesting. Jeff didn't always get along with Dick and The Holy, Holy Vi…

Okay ... another televised game ... woohoo! I think it's also on MLB.TV. About at the halfway mark, or a little past, and I bring to you another meaningless ST game. I'd say the lineup looks like the A team, other than no Buxton, who was scratched due to illness. I said ILLNESS not injury. Don't get all panicky here. Anyway, here we go ... RED SOX Lineup tba Buchholz P TWINS Dozier 2B Rosario LF Mauer 1B Sano RF Plouffe 3B Park DH Escobar SS Suzuki C Mastroianni CF Gibson P Game time temp, 75 deg; partly cloudy, winds from the WNW at 9 mph.

Three cheers for the Twins bullpen. Lineups: Twins: Brian Dozier 2B Joe Mauer C Ryan Doumit DH Justin Morneau 1B Trevor Plouffe 3B Oswaldo Arcia LF Chris Parmelee RF Aaron Hicks CF Pedro Florimon SS (Samuel Deduno P) Yankees: Brett Gardner CF Ichiro Suzuki RF Robinson Cano 2B Travis Hafner DH Zoilo Almonte LF Lyle Overbay 1B Chris Stewart C David Adams 3B Alberto Gonzalez SS (Phil Hughes P)

Catfish. Now there’s an ugly fish. But they’re fun to catch, at least a neighbor told me that. We were whacking fresh rhubarb out of the patch that straddled our property line, sweating in the sun, throwing lies and fairy tales about so he might’ve been exaggerating a little. I’ve never done that myself. Anyway, he claimed he once caught a thirty-pound catfish out of the Minnesota River and took most of an hour to relate the complete tale. I wasn’t sure who got the worst of it; me or the catfish. Anyway, fighting the fish so exhausted my neighbor he claimed his arms were about to fall off before he landed the brute. He’s been hooked on the catfish sport ever since. I gu…

Twins: SP Andrew Albers 2B Dozier C Herrmann 1B Morneau DH Willingham RF Doumit 3B Plouffe CF Thomas LF Ramirez SS Bernier Tigers: SP Justin Verlander CF Jackson RF Hunter 3B Cabrera 1B Fielder DH Martinez LF Tuiasosopo 2B Infante SS Iglasias C Holaday Things to Think About: 1. Think about Albers... 3 Starts under his belt... This is all pretty new to him... If it's not new to him... Facing off against the Tigers and Justin Verlander should be. 2. Think about Verlander... He's gotta matchup against Albers... Right now... Albers is blowing Verlander away in the ERA Department. 3. Think about Tuiasosopo... What football Roster did they grab him off of. Nam…