Just For Fun

I’m writing this on Thursday night and don’t want this to be out of date by the time it posts on Friday morning. Some of the biggest moves in baseball happen while we’re in our nightcaps, sawing logs. Therefore, I’ve had to format this like a Choose Your Own Adventure book. Please follow the chain for my reaction to whatever did or did not happen.

Longtime Twins TV voice stuns family, friends, polite society with replacement-level outfielder body art.

'Not a lot of managers could pull off what La Russa is doing,' said a Twins coach. 'He’s a legend for a reason.'

“The burning,” said a team source. “The burning.”

“While it’s admirable that they’re offering encouragement to a division rival, this could impact Minnesota negatively at some point.”

'Oh, this happens all the time for everyone, I bet,' said a team spokesperson.

With fans demanding the prospect’s return to the majors, many wonder what season-ending injury comes next.

An event rare enough to challenge Halley’s Comet or a Superwolf Blood Moon occurred Wednesday evening. The Minnesota Twins beat the brakes off the New York Yankees 8-1, in a game so lopsided that normally superstitious Twins fans were seen smiling as they left the game in the 7th inning to beat traffic out of Ramp B on a weeknight. Twins Daily spoke with local citizens and tastemakers about the experience.

‘The jury is still out on this vaccine,' he said, wobbling over the putt on 17.

“He should be playing every day, because otherwise he’s hurting the team. But he should be benched, because otherwise he’s hurting the team. I am in a real pickle here.”

'I’ve never been more angry,' said Bradford.

Teams hopes to make do with "the big kids" from local schools and playgrounds.