Just For Fun

The Twins are a little over halfway through spring training. One notable absence from pretend game action: Byron Buxton. The oft-injured superstar hasn’t played an inning of pretend baseball yet. The team says it’s standard operating procedure for players returning from injury. Doug Spivey is taking them at their word. Until Thursday, March 16th. “If he isn’t in the lineup by then I am flipping my [EXPLETIVE],” said the Eveleth pipefitter. “What if he’s out half the season? What if it’

The early talk of Minnesota Twins spring training is not the return of Kenta Maeda or the leg of Carlos Correa, but rather the blistering start from Edouard Julien. The infield prospect put a bow on the chatter by belting two home runs against Atlanta in Tuesday’s 10-7 pretend game victory. Jason Kornhaber is already mad about it. “Edmond [sic] is a monster talent,” said Kornhaber, who found out about Julien’s existence on Friday, February 24th, when two-time Jeopardy! also-ran Do-Hyo

The Minnesota Twins thought they were signing veteran infielder Donovan Solano to a one-year deal. Instead, they signed a rock-and-roll legend. “We’re pleased to announce the unexpected signing of Donovan,” said Twins PR flack Dustin Morse. “We look forward to seeing how he can contribute to the team this spring. We’ll be making no further comment.” Team sources who requested anonymity to speak freely, said a paperwork mishap at the league office sent Solano, 35, to the Rio Grande Rock

Torvald Carlsson spends his days curating a formidable collection of Minnesota sports memorabilia. The retired Scandia educator counts a row of seats from the old Met Stadium, a signed Bernie Bierman football, and an original George Mikan Minneapolis Lakers jersey as his most prized possessions. His newest acquisition might be his most unique one yet. “I was browsing eBay the other day and saw that they put the entire Bally Sports North network up for auction,” said Carlsson. “I don’t reall

Four tiny words mean last season's over  Pitchers and catchers report A tough year to watch, or remain sober Pitchers and catchers report A winter spent refreshing MLB rumors Praying that Falvey makes a big move or re-signs Correa? LOL! That’s good humor! Pitchers and catchers report A crowded rotation? No chance that’s true. Pitchers and catchers report No bad backs or elbows or bubonic flu? Pitchers and catchers report We’ll finally see pitching, for which we’ve wait

Every spring training, baseball writers document which player in camp has cut weight, hit the gym, and is generally in “the best shape of his life.” “It’s one of those clichés that happens to be true,” said the Star Tribune’s Phil Miller. “There’s always a player who really got after it in the winter and it’s hard to miss.” “I was on Jeopardy,” confirmed MLB.com’s Do-Hyoung Park. For the Fargo Forum’s Steve Fraley, it’s another matter entirely. “I have let myself go,” said Fr

When the offseason began, there were two certainties: The Twins would move heaven and earth to get Carlos Correa back, and Max Kepler was going to be traded. Through a wild series of events, Correa is back in Minnesota for a while. However, that second certainty? At this writing, it’s uncertain at best. “Spring Training is two weeks away and Max (Kepler, Twins outfielder) is still here,” said Twins outfielder Trevor Larnach. “We sort of removed him from all of our group chats. It’s wei

It may seem like just yesterday that Joe Mauer donned his catching equipment one last time before saying farewell to a roaring Target Field crowd. But it’s now been five years since his 2018 retirement, meaning the lifelong Twin is eligible for Baseball’s Hall of Fame. And for the most miserable bastards in Minnesota, it couldn’t come soon enough. “As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve missed him since he retired,” said Tom Hanson, 58. The Anoka resident and classic North Metro redass ha

On Thursday, Twins Daily’s Melissa Berman explored some of the most exciting promos and ticket deals at Target Field this season. Today, we look at some of the less popular ones. TOMMY HERR BOBBLEHEAD NIGHT: The wildly unpopular return in the trade for beloved World Series champion Tom Brunansky gets his own tribute on May 14th! The first 5,000 fans will receive a bobblehead that sulks, pouts, and has a remarkably lifelike “I don’t even want to be here” setting. “It’s as off-putting as the

The shocking return of Carlos Correa and the circumstances surrounding it are THE topic of conversation in Twins Territory. Except for one irritating man. “Maybe it’s just me, but I guess I want to see how A.J. Alexy fits in to the team’s bullpen plans for 2023,” said Xander Greene, a 29-year-old systems analyst from Minneapolis. “It’s a pretty obscure transaction, you probably haven’t heard of it.” The Twins acquired Alexy, 24, from the Nationals in exchange for fellow righthander Chr

With the calendar reading 2023, it’s hard not to think of spring training. And with a free agent class essentially picked clean and the trade rumors silent, it’s hard not to wonder who, exactly, is going to be on the Minnesota Twins come April. At least one source has run the numbers and is startled at the findings. “Usually, I base these outlooks on the current roster, the farm system, free agents, the needs of other teams, and payroll,” said Aaron Gleeman, The Athletic’s Minnesota Twins c

Once is a fluke. Twice is a trend. That’s all we really know about the state of Carlos Correa’s future employment and the ankle he injured a decade ago. Nine-figure deals with the Giants and Mets have either evaporated completely or exist in some kind of limbo. The Twins reportedly had limited interest in a reunion after the San Francisco signing fell through, despite their stated desire to sign him long term. Something’s up. Fortunately, Twins Daily has access to the kind of advanced metri

Steve Cohen, the Mets owner, is stupid rich. He can afford to sign Carlos Correa as an afterthought. All the other owners are also stupid rich. They could also afford to sign Carlos Correa as an afterthought. They opted out. The Giants and Twins may end up being completely vindicated in exercising restraint. That plate in Correa’s leg may start malfunctioning like the one in Cousin Eddie’s head from Christmas Vacation. If he pees his pants rounding second because someone at Citi Field

Carlos Correa’s departure for San Francisco leaves the Minnesota Twins with a gaping hole at shortstop. While rumored to be interested in free agent Dansby Swanson, the team announced a different plan on Thursday. “We made our best efforts to keep Carlos in Minnesota,” said Twins GM Derek Falvey. “Sometimes, that’s all you can do. And we’re taking that lesson to heart. Best Efforts will be our shortstop in 2023.” The concept of trying your best and failing to reach your objective is no

IF CORREA SIGNED WITH THE TWINS: Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Yes. Yes. I told you, I told you, and I know I told you. Now let’s get a catcher and some more pitching. If I had a football I’d spike it. If CORREA SIGNED ELSEWHERE: Well. That sucks. Huh. Can Royce Lewis get healthy faster? What time do the Vikings play on Sunday? I’m not crying. You’re crying. Shut up. IF CORREA REMAINS UNSIGNED: OK. Well, I’m just going to keep refreshing Twitter obsessively. I wonder if

Turnover in the Twins front office continued Thursday, as recently-appointed executive chairman Joe Pohlad resigned effective immediately, just three days after accepting the role. No reason was given for his departure. Taking his place will be the next Pohlad in line, 6-year-old Zachary, great-grandson of the late Carl Pohlad. “Great teams have a next man up mentality, and that applies to all levels of our organization,” said former executive chairman Jim Pohlad. “Zachary has the enthusias

As you battle your fellow Minnesotans for the last Rosedale parking spot, hoping the sporting goods store has an XL Byron Buxton Twin Cities jersey you can drop half a paycheck on, you should know that there are many other online and brick-and-mortar outlets showcasing their wares for you, the hardcore Twins fan. Twins Daily has run the numbers, and what follows are the worst consumer options out there. Keep your head on a swivel. 20% off signed copies of “Why Is He So Tiny Now? An Oral

Of the many issues that befell the 2022 Minnesota Twins, a run of truly wretched injury luck was a decisive factor. Per Baseball Reference, they lost 9.4 Wins Above Replacement to injuries. It drove the team to hire a new athletic trainer, Nick Paparesta, away from Oakland. And the changes are coming fast. “I’m not trying to throw anyone under the bus,” said Paparesta. “This is not a metaphor. They would actually put players under the team bus last year to quote ‘blast their abs’ unquote. T

I take the Green Line to work every day between the Twin Cities. Light rail gets a bad rap from guys in Elk River who think cowering in fear of Minneapolis is something to brag about, but it’s 20 minutes there, 20 minutes back, and I can listen to podcasts about war or baseball. Recently, while waiting for my train at the Prospect Park station, something caught my eye. Was it a food wrapper? No. An empty tallboy? No. It was a by god $10 bill. I picked it up, put it in my pocket, and tried t

Houston Astros catcher Martin Maldonado was barred from using a maple bat in Game 1 of the 2022 World Series. The bat, given to him by Albert Pujols, was deemed illegal due to the threat of splintering and potential injury. While odd, it’s not the first time the Fall Classic has seen this kind of controversy. “The bats didn’t get from Minneapolis to St. Louis in time, so I had to improvise,” said former Twins great Kent Hrbek about his first at-bat in Game 3 of the 1987 World Series. The Bl

The Minnesota Twins have several needs to meet this offseason. Shortstop. A top-of-the-rotation starter. Probably another catcher. Bullpen help. You can’t swing a dead cat without a local writer offering their suggestions. This is fine. What’s equally important, and what these so-called experts refuse to address, are the moves the Twins shouldn't make. A bad signing or ill-begotten trade can derail a season before it even begins. Andrelton Simmons. Tommy Herr. Matt Shoemaker. Names that liv

With both League Championship Series underway, local baseball fans can thrill to the unexpected National League matchup between the Philadelphia Phillies and San Diego Padres. A pleasant reminder that the biggest payrolls or markets don’t always guarantee postseason glory, the first two games have been tense and entertaining. There’s also the ALCS. “Man, I don’t know,” said Brian Allmendinger, 44, a Medina-based systems analyst and lifelong Twins fan, responding to a question about the

The Minnesota Twins began their 40-man roster purge this week, parting ways with the likes of Devin Smeltzer and Jermaine Palacios. Perhaps the most familiar name on the list of now-former Twins is longtime fourth outfielder Jake Cave, who declined his option to Jake Cave, the cave for Jakes. He will instead join the Baltimore Orioles. “We can’t say enough about the professionalism and great attitude Jake brought to the Twins,” said Twins GM Derek Falvey. “There are tough choices to make ev

THE AMERICAN LEAGUE NEW YORK YANKEES: If you can pull yourself away from cheering for the Cowboys, the Lakers, and Notre Dame, this is your team. Also, you are the devil. I hope they break into every Aaron Judge at-bat to show highlights of preseason NHL games. On the plus side, the longer they’re in the playoffs that’s less time for Josh Donaldson to dedicate to his first love (racism). CLEVELAND GUARDIANS: There are those who say, “Well, if the Twins can’t win, I hope the AL Central