Beat Writer in Worst Shape of His Life

Best article ever.

Fake news.  Applebees nachos are awful.  

I can’t stand by quietly.  Whether satire or not, the idea may take hold and impact someone’s life.  If I save just one person from ordering Applebees nachos, it’s worth it.

17 minutes ago, Beast said:

Fake news.  Applebees nachos are awful.  

I can’t stand by quietly.  Whether satire or not, the idea may take hold and impact someone’s life.  If I save just one person from ordering Applebees nachos, it’s worth it.

Should have gone with the spinach and artichoke dip.

I love the fact that the essay has to start with a definition of satire!  That was my biggest laugh - I almost spilled my salsa when I saw that.

Over/under on the amount of comments missing the LARGE header that explains satire and complain like this is a real article. 

1 hour ago, Beast said:

Fake news.  Applebees nachos are awful.  

I can’t stand by quietly.  Whether satire or not, the idea may take hold and impact someone’s life.  If I save just one person from ordering Applebees nachos, it’s worth it.

Yeah, they are almost as bad as their boneless "wings".  

I live in a town where the top fine dining options are Applebees and Whataburger.  We don't eat out very often.  But Chick-Fil-A is coming!  I might be able to write my own version of this article next year.

5 minutes ago, gil4 said:

Yeah, they are almost as bad as their boneless "wings".  

I live in a town where the top fine dining options are Applebees and Whataburger.  We don't eat out very often.  But Chick-Fil-A is coming!  I might be able to write my own version of this article next year.

We have limited options where I am as well.  Also, my 5 year old daughter has been adamant about needing to go to Applebees because of the “Fancy Like” bro country song.  So, it’s a nightmare on multiple levels.

Save yourselves.

33 minutes ago, Beast said:

We have limited options where I am as well.  Also, my 5 year old daughter has been adamant about needing to go to Applebees because of the “Fancy Like” bro country song.  So, it’s a nightmare on multiple levels.

Save yourselves.

My youngest daughter is 18 and would rather go with her friends, so I'm safe. 

Applebee's, Olive Garden, TGI Fridays. Who wins? 

I wanted Steve Fraley to be real. I still want him to become a recurring Randballs character, maybe a Raymond Chandler-esque, film noir kind of guy that wears a lot of bright colors to throw folks off. 

Also, Stu, there's room for a weekly ChatGPT feature where Google  The Machine writes something for consideration. 

EDIT: Google is behind and has introduced Bard to catch up. Mea culpa.

The wife and I once dined at a TGI Fridays on a Saturday. Turned out we were a day late and a dollar short.

4 hours ago, DJL44 said:

Should have gone with the spinach and artichoke dip.

100%.  And spinach is healthy.  😉

1 hour ago, Brock Beauchamp said:

There are no winners here but Olive Garden is far and away the least offensive option listed.

We eat healthy at home and "sin" on the road. Still got clogged arteries from our last MacDonald's stop, a mortal sin committed back when Ryan was still in knickers. Went down in the Big Book as a mortal sin. The Road To Hell is paved with Big Macs.

2 hours ago, Dave The Dastardly said:

We eat healthy at home and "sin" on the road. Still got clogged arteries from our last MacDonald's stop, a mortal sin committed back when Ryan was still in knickers. Went down in the Big Book as a mortal sin. The Road To Hell is paved with Big Macs.

This guy begs to differ:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.today.com/today/amp/rcna30157

 Man has eaten a Big Mac a day for 50 years, attributes good health to walking

"I probably will be eating Big Macs every day for the rest of my life," said Don Gorske.

4 hours ago, LA VIkes Fan said:

Applebee's, Olive Garden, TGI Fridays. Who wins? 

First base.

Just now, Nine of twelve said:

First base.

Rally Monkey’s Fine Dining Emporium.