Area Fan Transitions Seamlessly from Lockout Panic to Roster Panic

The way this off-season has gone, I might start smoking as well.

Honestly that satire hits a little bit too close to home for me.  While I might not be that over the top just yet. I certainly am plenty agitated.

I will light my cigar this afternoon.  The Twins have become so confusing - the Vikings are signing players and dumping players, but when they dump one, the sign one to fill the gap.  The Wild had issues so they traded to get the season back on track.  The Wolves, smartly did not trade, and they were right.  But the Twins have instead decided that an infield of 2B - Arraez, Polanco, Miranda, Gordon will be acceptable if we don't have a SS or starting pitching.  We gave up extra players to dump salary and let the Yankees dump players that would not have made their roster this year because we gave that player a contract that we all celebrated and he performed as well as ever and then he was the albatross that needed to be gone.  Please continue to help us - we all need counseling. 

Dman is right--it does hit a little too close to home.  I think the thing is with the Twins, I am never convinced that they are really willing to spend what is necessary to get the team over the hump.  They were loaded two and three years ago and added Happ and Shoemaker instead of a real difference maker.  At least with the Vikings, Wild and Wolves, their failures are not due to looking to maintain a tight budget.  It is almost like they want to win more than the Twins.

These "area fan" articles are great. They caputure our anxieties perfectly even when things are going well. 

I miss the days when an article like this read like satire. Edmund is all of us right now. And the Jason Bartlett reunion tour memory - oof, what a stinger!

I met Lisa once at a town ball game in Gaylord. She was sitting behind home plate throwing insults at the home plate umpire between wheezes. Turns out he was her husband. I was downwind of her and had to burn my clothes when I got home, what with the smoke smell and hot ash burns. If I'd known that I'd have borrowed a Yankees jersey before the game.

I picked the wrong off-season to stop sniffing glue.

1 hour ago, big dog said:

I picked the wrong off-season to stop sniffing glue.

Our offseason to date:

For everyone who hasn't figured it out yet and for those who fail to believe it, this is our 2022 pitching situation;

• Sonny Gray
• Joe Ryan
• Dylan Bundy
• Bailey Ober
• Jharel Cotton
• Randy Dobnak / Chi Chi Rodriguez
• No Bullpen Additions

That's it.  That's all there is.  No one else is coming.  It's this trash up until the trading deadline then we'll move anyone who was remotely mediocre and then roll in the rookies to finish out our 100+ loss season.  

We have all been had.  Not only did the Twins not do the bare minimum moves needed to make the Twins "competitive" again, they actually SIGNIFICANTLY downgraded the entire team.  They traded away about 60 homeruns and added 200 more strikeouts and about 50 more errors.  But they saved the Polads about $50 million.  That was the end result of all of the moves.  They didn't need to dump salary and could have at least kept the nucleus of the team together to make the season entertaining, but they willingly chose to give all of us fans the middle finger.  They brought back unwanted Yankee garbage and handicapped the team in amazing fashion.  They traded away guys who are actively producing today for guys with the hope and prayer that they can turn into the players they were 3-4 seasons ago.  Except, that those players 3-4 years ago still weren't good.  

ENJOY THE SEASON!!!  IT'S GUARANTEED TO BE HISTORIC!