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You would be too if you were facing...*checks notes* Dawel Lugo.

Tampa’s stadium doesn’t have internet access.

Are they paying these pitchers by the hour?

As a fan, I approve of this joke.

Nah. THIS is Chief mugging me and taking over: A dad is washing the car with his son. After a moment, the son asks his father, "Do you think we could use a sponge instead?"

Baldelli needs to ask if he can wire 3 runs to Tampa Bay.

I was at a loss as to what to write for this series opener. So, I consulted with my very good friend, Christopher Robin to see if I could find some good insight into the Detroit Tiggers: Quickly realizing that Christopher Robin might not be the best source for information about the Detroit Tiggers, I decided to look elsewhere for inspiration that didn't involve much perspiration. *Yeah, that character was modeled on me trying to come up with ideas for game threads. Yes, we're going to ignore the fact the movie came out long before TD and the web became ubiquitous. After the Twins decided spotting the Sox a couple of games at home was a bad idea, they brought the broom out for the initial three game series in Chicago. Now, hopefully, the broom is in safe storage, awaiting use after the Twins are done with Detroit. With that, Reader poll! (I say "poll," you say, "trying to see if anyone is paying attention.") 1. Femme Fatale of black and white movie era: Bette Davis or Barbara Stanwyck? 2. Comedic actress of the black and white era: Irene Dunn or Gracie Allen? 3. Best noir detective: Humphrey Bogart or Robert Mitchum? 4. Best suspense director: Alfred Hitchcock or George Cukor? Lineups: 5. Play ball!

<Gibson calls a conference on the mound> Gibby: Who made that man a runner? Cron: You did, Kyle. You’re the pitcher! Gibby: What’s his name? Cron: His uniform says Castro, man. Gibby: I know that! What’s his name? Cron: That is his name, Kyle. Castro, Willi Castro. Gibby: And the batter? Cron: He’s a Castro, too. Rookie-year center fielder Harold Castro. Gibby: How many Castros do we have on this field, anyway? Jason: Yo! Gibby: I knew it. I’m surrounded by Castros!

Tomorrow morning is a weird time to bake a pie.

Is this one of your cron-ic puns?

Oh, so Gibson remembered that he's a pretty good pitcher and the Tigers are an awful offense. What a novel approach.

Is there room for one more? He's dead, but still.

Dick is complaining about it and for good reason: pitchers are allowed to work waayyyyyy too slowly, even with the half-assed rules in place. Throw the damned ball. Set a timer. If you don't throw a ball within, say, 15 seconds, automatic ball.

I have a pork shoulder in my crock pot that I was waiting until this inning was over to brown in the skillet. At the current pace it might be complete mush when I take it out. Plz send thoughts and prayers.

I want to like you, Kyle Gibson but you make it almost impossible.

Just got home from my first trip to the Oregon State Fair. Today is our wedding anniversary and the friend with whom my wife formerly went to the fair has moved away, leaving her without a Fair companion. So, even though I'm not really a Fair guy (but I'm not an unfair guy either!), I bit the bullet, exchanged our soccer tickets for tonight, and agreed to trek down to Salem for the Fair. As we were going through the gates (paying our Fair fare?), it occurred to me that if we were entering the Fairground we must be leaving Foulground (not to be confused with the Fowlground inside the Fairground, where they show the poultry), though the base line must have been wiped away. Anyway, I'm back in Foulground now and will manage to catch the first couple of innings before heading out to dinner. The Oregon Fair didn't seem as exciting as the Minnesota State Fair we attended on our honeymoon 45 years ago, but there are a lot of things that aren't as exciting as they were 45 years ago (including me!), so I hesitate to offer that as a valid comparative review. I hope you can all bring home a win tonight! I'll check in if I'm home in time.

Noteworthy that bilateral leg weakness didn't make the board at 100-1.

All they need to do is add Graterol to the 40-man roster by September to make him eligible for the postseason.

I just read the game thread after watching a decent bit of the game game. Neither the announcers or anyone in the gamethread noted that the almost all of the of the Twins hits went the opposite way. They went in against 99mph Cease with a plan and executed it to perfection. Cron doesn’t really do opposite field...so he hit the ball up the middle. Tons opposite field hits, including a Cave HR.

Rays wins, lead should be 4.5 after this one is over.

Did you hear about the guy addicted to brake fluid? He said it wasn't a problem - he could stop anytime

I hope you hurt your fingers typing that.

Dick: Gibson has retired the last 5 men. Ashbury: If you count a double play as retiring two.

Pro tip: order your steak medium-rare, your crème brûlée well done.

In nature, life eats life. The strong prey upon the weak and the infirm. So it is with the Twins feasting upon a struggling Tigers team. Like water buffalo crossing an African stream, some will be consumed so that the herd can live. Do not avert your eyes, Twins fans. The savagery of nature is cyclical. There will be future Tigers, and there will be more Twins. For now, the buffet is in our favor.

A little presumptuous to be making moral judgements about them, don't you think?

I am laying 3-2 that, before all is said and done, we hear Gibby's struggles are related to the "long half innings from the offense."

The game will still be going on. Only networks with agreements to air MLB can show highlights of games in progress.

Like my daddy used to say, "If yur gonna bad, be bad quikly." (He spoke in bad spelling.)

Don't be ridiculous. Kirk Cousins doesn't have the arm strength to cause a concussion.

Jose Berrios is certainly pointed back in the right direction, but there are still some red flags from today's outing. More on that here:

Seeing how Duffy and May handled these hitters, put more in perspective how awful Gibson was

My pad will be spotless by the end of this four game series.

It's 10:45 on this side of the Pacific. Vichysoisse for supper tonight, too.

Holy moley-- Just now checking into this game- did Duffey just miss an immaculate inning? Wow....

105 pitches, 5 innings, 4 earned runs. Congratulations to Gibby for a 2019 Quality Start!

I remember that show. Which is actually pretty pathetic.

Good Gibson, bad Gibson...doesn't much matter when your team scores 12 runs in 4 innings. This is the Twins offense from the first half. Making the starters almost an afterthought. Just throw strikes and let batters get themselves out.

You might even say bold, Cotton.

I was right there with you, right up until the "friends" part, then, things became unbelievable.

I was thinking about that earlier and realized: It doesn't matter. Not even a little bit. Rotating through Tigers' pitchers is like deciding whether you want the steak or the creme brulee.

Nothing like getting to the Tigers’ bullpen in the third inning in a four game series. Also, the goal for tonight’s game...score as many runs as Gibson gives up the previous inning.

Or by the pitch, or by the batter, or scaling with batting average, or...

Got a pitchers duel, looks like Gibson found his match

1. Femme Fatale of black and white movie era: Bette Davis or Barbara Stanwyck? 2. Comedic actress of the black and white era: Irene Dunn or Gracie Allen? 3. Best noir detective: Humphrey Bogart or Robert Mitchum? 4. Best suspense director: Alfred Hitchcock or George Cukor? Indisputable Answers 1. Barbara Stanwyck because she had a Big Valley. No, wait a minute. Bouncing Bette because she couldn't spell "Betty"? 2. Is Irene Dunn? I think so. Say goodnight Gracie. 3. Bogie, because he had Bacall. 4. Hitch your wagon to a... Gotta go with Alfred because he had New Ulm, Minnesota native Tippie Hedren, in "The Birds", thus touching off the tradition of bird flipping. Just look out your Rear Window and see Grace Kelly to know I'm right.

They can't quite justify using a 737, or even an Embraer regional jet. Here is the equipment they use for the route:

That is correct. Enlow has a better swinging strike rate than Jordan Balazovic (13.3% to 12.4%).

They really need Willians back, if only because, when you look at that face, you have that perfect feeling of contentedness knowing that only he looks like that, and he is a teammate, not a relative or a mirror.

very disappointing. they should have swept better.