Blake

I have to call you on this one: Twins fans, by their very nature, are not a fussy bunch. If we were, would we be following the sorry excuse for an MLB team known as the Twins?

Sounds like abuse of a perfectly good tap, to me.

I see your point.

And convert Jepsen into DFA.

Well, I like the idea of cars, but the Yugo was a bad idea.

On a recent trip through the Midwest, we were just outside of Omaha and used FourSquare to find a place to eat. Found an outstanding Steakhouse and Brew pub and had a very nice Porter that was brewed in house.

twinsnorth: Beer Coach, esq.

If at first you don't succeed....

"Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers." - Cliff Clavin, of Cheers

RB, you should write a book, "A Thousand and One Weird Ideas for a Baseball Thread." Oh wait, the book is slowly being compiled on TD. Excellent job with the thread. Miller beer isn't genuine anything, unless genuinely bad counts for something.

The player of the game for the Marlins will be the Twins pitching staff.

Twins still have a chance for historically bad rather than just Twins bad?

The whole "bases loaded without a run" thing is approaching the absurd. You would think at some point the team would regress to the mean. This team is not only bad, but unlucky.

Off topic, I see that Ventura got 9 games off. Sounds like great fit for the Twins. In fact, the marketing possibilities positively give me goosebumps! For instance: "Twins, come for the game, stay for the crazy!" Or: "This bout is scheduled for 9 innings! And in this corner, weighing in at 175lbs of crazy heat: "Yordano Ventura!"

I think flogging is a better idea.

He probably won't take BP, figuring Twins pitching will be all he needs.

Private Snowball!!

You did the right thing, turned away, then you looked back? Tsk tsk tsk.

Great, that didn't end well at all.

Well, the Twins are certainly working on Number 2.....

There's no saving this. Which is why I turned the game off. Earlier, I asked if the Twins won, if this would be the first series sweep at home by the Twins. In retrospect, I should have known better.

By the way, Bremer's "May grew up a Mariners fan and just missed pitching to Ichiro.." was some of the most inane drivel I've ever heard from Dick.

Firehose, followed by a pressure washer then bleach. If you're gonna clean house, don't settle for half-measures.

In same ways, that's bit disappointing. The way I see it, if you're going down in flames, go down in style.

Trevor the Travesty?