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  • sat·ire | (/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/) | noun
    the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

    Wait, Ryan LaMarre Is On the Twins Again? And He's Starting?


    RandBalls Stu

    How did that happen? Am I being pranked?

    OK, this is nuts, but I swear that I just saw the starting lineups for tonight, and Ryan LaMarre is starting for the Twins in center field. Now, I’m aware that Byron Buxton is out for the season and the rest of the outfield is hurt, slumping or both (Hurlumping? Slurting?), but this can’t be right, can it?

    Image courtesy of © Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

    Twins Video

    I’ve done some Googling, and there are definitely stories saying that the Twins reacquired him from Atlanta, but I’ve also seen stories on those “deepfake” videos that make you think Bill Hader is Tom Cruise, and the latter honestly seems more likely. Someone would have said something. Not to brag, but I’m friends with John Bonnes. Not to double brag, but I text back and forth with him from time to time. He’s an avid Twins fan. And he didn’t say a damn thing to me about this.

    What I think happened was, the last time the Twins were in a pennant race, Ron Gardenhire had Jason Tyner bat in the middle of the order. Now, Jason Tyner is known for three things:

    1. Having a middle name that’s just a backwards spelling of his last name;
    2. Having his bobblehead day called off because he was demoted; and
    3. Not being the kind of hitter one would normally see in the middle of any playoff-contending team’s batting order. He had one career home run. One.

    And yet, here he was, batting fifth in games that mattered. On television, where children could see it!

    My theory is that the Twins are finally back in a real playoff battle, and are paying tribute to this unprecedented event in Twins history. Since bringing back Tyner, now 42 and retired, would make it too obvious that it was a bit, the Twins are using a more recent “oh yeah, that guy, the one with the 5 o'clock shadow at 10 in the morning” to have some fun with their fans. I applaud their effort and look forward to seeing who is really getting the nod in center tonight!

    UPDATE, FRIDAY MORNING, 9:07 AM: This was not a bit. They also played Ronald Torreyes. I don't understand anything anymore.

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    Thanks for a bit of humor after watching depleted Twins inch closer to non-playoff status. I would have thought LaMarre could have learned to play right field by now so Eddie could go back to his comfort zone in left.

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    They are smarter than you think.   Lamarre has an .809 OPS when playing for Chicago.   Since we play the Whtie Sox next week this was just a preemptive move to make sure they don't reacquire him to play against us.  OK, I guess that explains why they acquired him but not why they are playing him rather than calling Kiriloff up.

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    Are we sure Falvine didn't call Tyner, and he turned them down? 

    Most likely they reached out to Oswaldo Arcia and Darin Mastroianni before calling LaMarre. man, what a bizarre last month this is going to be!

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    In the final weeks of the season, concerns have happened for resting players and dealing with hurts and pains, in prep for the post-season. But it is still a race to the pennant line and every game is important and if you basically set yourself up to have, say, a lesser chance of winning...then there is a pretty good chance that players will get plenty of rest starting October 1.

     

    Hurt players, suspended players, are the name of the game. EVERY team is facing the same issues, be it now, last month or at the beginning of the season.

     

    Somehow the Twins seems to be playing fiscally safe, patching instead of replacing. The trade deadline came and went. Okay, the Twins got a couple of pieces who lok good on paper. The Twins were active in the free agent marketplace and succeeded in some excellent scores who have helped the team this season, but I look and also wonder if the scores were so good that I would look to keep 65% of them going into 2020.

     

    Over on the Twins page mention was made of Alex Kirilloff, that he is still only in AA ball and possibly not ready. But having a future All-Star taking bumps and hitting .100 can't be any worse than patching in 2-3 guys who may never play for the Twins again after the season ends, of putting infielders into the outfield.

     

    The Twins have 35+ payers on the roster. Every game until you clench is a playoff game. If the pitcher is looking to be in trouble, let someone else come in and save the day, or make the mistake. You don't need the starter to finish his innings, or the relief arm to get out of his jam. 

     

    You supersub is injured. Don't put in the new guy if you are still in competition for the win and one of your better bats can still play.

     

    And start having your BIG bats, the guys hitting 30+ home runs, coming up after the guys who get on base (Arraez) and not before.

     

    It will still be a fun final couple of weeks. But we can't be complacent and keep saying we face easy teams in the end. Those guys are hungry and want to be spoilers!

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    LaMarre has absolutely no future with this team. None. Kiriloff does - he is a more talented player than LaMarre, and is more likely to make an "impact" over the course of the next couple weeks. He will also get AB's and experience in an extremely valuable playing environment. This move just makes zero sense.

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    The move for LaMarre makes perfect sense. This keeps us from using a 40 man spot on Killeroff this off-season in exchange for maybe 30-40 plate appearances for a liked player who performed at AAA. LaMarre will be outrighted off the 40 man after the season. There is no suspense on that. He gets a Major league check and a chance to show he still can play up here, so a decent opportunity to be a backup somewhere next season. Everyone wins

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    I don’t understand where this demand for Kirilloff is coming from, he hit .756 OPS against AA pitching this year. If they called him up now, I’d expect a sub .700 OPS from him.

     

    I don’t understand Lamarre on the roster, though... they should have at least gotten somebody who was hitting well at AAA, like De Aza.

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    We should have signed Lew Ford. He just turned 43 last month, and he slashed .313/.365/.434 in the Atlantic League this year. Was the hitting coach too!

     

    https://www.baseball-reference.com/register/player.fcgi?id=ford--001jon

     

    http://www.liducks.com/ducks/roster/index.html?player_id=90

     

    If we had signed him before September 1st, we could have even taken advantage of his career .300/.364/.400 postseason slash line!

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    The move for LaMarre makes perfect sense. This keeps us from using a 40 man spot on Killeroff this off-season in exchange for maybe 30-40 plate appearances for a liked player who performed at AAA. LaMarre will be outrighted off the 40 man after the season. There is no suspense on that. He gets a Major league check and a chance to show he still can play up here, so a decent opportunity to be a backup somewhere next season. Everyone wins

    I really wish his name was Killeroff. It would roll off the tongue mightily and remind us Killebrew!

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    Realistically, we have a bunch of guys who can't play, and whether it's Alejandro De Aza, Ramon Flores or Ryan LaMarre being called upon to take major league at bats; it's a crap shoot. I think Luke Raley might have been the most ready (since Jaylin Davis was traded), but he's another wounded warrior.

     

    We're in a tough spot, but the Twins have been pretty resilient this year. If Schoop is truly swinging a hot bat right now the cleanup spot might not be a bad idea. I'm looking for La Tortuga to pull some bat magic too. If prayers have any influence, we got your back guys.

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    I'm curious as to why no one has snapped up Scooter Gennett since SF released him. I mean the Twins don't need him because they have Schoop and Arraez but dang you'd think someone would grab him. He hit .310 last year and OPS'd .847. 23 Hrs, 30 2Bs and 181 hits. You'd think someone would want a shot at that??

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