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  • sat·ire | (/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/) | noun
    the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

    Twins Surprised Season Still Happening

    RandBalls Stu

    By RandBalls Stu

    After a series that ended with two gut-wrenching losses to the New York Yankees in front of a packed Target Field, many Minnesota Twins were taken aback by a startling development on Thursday: There was another game to play.

    “I was going to clean out my locker and get some rounds of golf set up,” said one player who asked not to be identified. “Then the traveling secretary said to make sure I got to the airport on time for the flight to Chicago. I had no idea what he was talking about until I remembered it was still July. Whoa.”

    Image courtesy of © Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

    Twins Video

    The Twins, who in previous seasons of competence or better made it to the playoffs only to meet their demise at the hands of the Yankees, were said to be pleasantly surprised by this turn of events.

    “A lot of us are new here, but you hear about the Yankee problem from guys who’ve been here awhile, and it gets in your head,” said one first-year Twin. “It felt like a playoff atmosphere all week, and then those last two games happened, and it’s just like, welp, see y’all in Fort Myers. But I guess we get to play 60 more games? Cool.”

    The confusion extended to the coaching staff too.

    “When the Yankees beat us and everyone feels shame, that usually means we have to go home,” said one coach. “There’s, like, two months left yet. Did you guys know this?”

    The Twins, clinging to a 2-game lead in the AL Central, face the White Sox in a 4-game set, while hard-charging Cleveland plays their 25th consecutive series against the Kansas City Royals.

    “Are you absolutely sure the season’s still happening,” asked one Twins player. “I know what the calendar says, and I know that I’m starting tomorrow, but it still feels like we’re breaking some kind of rule.”

    Steve "Stu" Neuman. Local copywriter, husband, father of two, inventor of the atomic bomb.
    Follow RandBalls Stu on Twitter: RandBallsStu

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    Yossarian

    Yossarian 126

  • Provisional Member

    • Posted

    The Twins played well enough to win two of three from NYY.  They should be holding their heads up knowing they're better than the remaining 28 teams in MLB, i.e., everybody left on their schedule.

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    ashbury

    ashbury 48,546

  • Old-Timey Member

    • Posted

    The Twins played well enough to win two of three from NYY.  They should be holding their heads up knowing they're better than the remaining 28 teams in MLB, i.e., everybody left on their schedule.

    The mark of a true professional is to keep the head held high while hanging it in shame. Bit of a contortion act but the great ones do it.

     

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    Number3

    Number3 615

  • Verified Member

    • Posted

    Losing 2 to the Mets was the kicker, not 2 of 3 to the savages. I think its the NY on the uniforms that gets into the Twins' heads; probably from their heritage and ancestry getting clobbered by Murderers' Row and the Bronx Bombers. Better in July than October. As a famous past savage once said, "Its not over....." . You know the rest.

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    Brock Beauchamp

    Brock Beauchamp 39,328

  • Administrator

    • Posted

     

    Losing 2 to the Mets was the kicker, not 2 of 3 to the savages. I think its the NY on the uniforms that gets into the Twins' heads; probably from their heritage and ancestry getting clobbered by Murderers' Row and the Bronx Bombers. Better in July than October. As a famous past savage once said, "Its not over....." . You know the rest.

    Yeah, the Mets series is what really irked me. They're a mediocre team that is in disarray right now, you need a split at minimum.

     

    But the Twins turned around and played Oakland tough, good enough for a split. Then the circus of the Yankees series happened and honestly, any of those games could have gone any way for either team. Both teams saw epic pitching collapses with offensive showings that were equally epic.

     

    What matters most to me right now is that it appears the Twins bullpen somehow escaped that apocalyptic series with the bullpen mostly intact.

     

    Thanks, Devin.

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    Mr. Brooks

    Mr. Brooks 7,174

  • Provisional Member

    • Posted

    The Twins played well enough to win two of three from NYY. They should be holding their heads up knowing they're better than the remaining 28 teams in MLB, i.e., everybody left on their schedule.

    Not quite well enough to win 2 out of 3, or they would have another win in the standings.

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    Blake

    Blake 12,585

  • Verified Member

    • Posted

     

    I don't think the Twins are looking at any moral victories in losing to the Yankees. It's probably given them some more belief that they can compete with them, but I doubt it sits well with them that they lost. I think they'll be hungry to beat them in the Fall, if they meet.

    Concur.

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    Blake

    Blake 12,585

  • Verified Member

    • Posted

     

    Yeah, the Mets series is what really irked me. They're a mediocre team that is in disarray right now, you need a split at minimum.

     

    But the Twins turned around and played Oakland tough, good enough for a split. Then the circus of the Yankees series happened and honestly, any of those games could have gone any way for either team. Both teams saw epic pitching collapses with offensive showings that were equally epic.

     

    What matters most to me right now is that it appears the Twins bullpen somehow escaped that apocalyptic series with the bullpen mostly intact.

     

    Thanks, Devin.

    Years past, would you have bet on any help being available in Triple A that was anything more than just a filler arm?

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    VATwinsFan

    VATwinsFan 2,377

  • Provisional Member

    • Posted (edited)

    I'm thinking the Yankees were just as happy to get out of Minnesota as the Twins were to see them go.

     

    The Yankees got hammered for 27 runs, ran through their bullpen, and got nailed for another 19 runs last night in Boston.

     

    The Mets and A's series were the setbacks, not the Yankees series.

    Edited by VATwinsFan
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