Twins Ask MLB to Stop the Count of Wild Card Round Game 1

The Houston Astros defeated the Minnesota Twins 4-1 in Game 1 of the 2020 AL Wild Card round. Or did they?

Lawyers for the Minnesota Twins have asked Major League Baseball to stop the innings count of Game 1 after the fifth inning, with the Twins leading 1-0.

“A game can be official after five innings of play,” said Byron Fredrickson, the team’s lead attorney. “It’s a foundational rule of baseball that goes back over a century. Our request is simple: the four subsequent innings unfairly changed the result of the first five innings. We ask the league to overturn this result, restore justice to Game 1, and allow the Twins and Astros to play a decisive Game 3.”

Major League Baseball did not respond for multiple requests to comment.

“The special circumstances of the short season, paired with the clear bias against the Twins that began with Phil Cuzzi robbing Joe Mauer of an obvious extra-base hit in the 2009 ALDS, makes it critical that the innings stop at five,” said Fredrickson. “It’s an official game. No one denies this. The silence of the commissioner’s office and the complicit media lapdogs is noticeable and it is shameful.”

When asked if this would be unfair to the Astros, Fredrickson said the Twins welcomed them to join the proceedings.

“We’ll provide a trash can and a wooden spoon for them to file their appeal if they so choose,” said Fredrickson.

Legal experts and baseball historians have characterized the Twins’ petition as “insane,” “the product of emotionally damaged men,” and “funny, but not ha-ha funny.” Fredrickson brushed those criticisms aside.

“At the end of the day, what matters isn’t the slings and arrows of compromised elites, what matters is the truth, and that truth is that games are official after the fifth inning. God bless the Minnesota Twins, and God bless America.”