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Make sure to bookmark this article for future reference. Before we start, allow me to apologize, the site could not support the level of bold I wanted this headline to be in. The best I could do was to illustrate just how bold these are in the text of the article image.
Nelson Cruz will not return to the Twins
Instead, the Twins decide to go with a youth movement and sign José Bautista, who is about 100 days younger than Cruz. MLB finally announces there will be the universal DH on April 5, Cruz signs with an NL team and goes on to hit 40 home runs. Bautista, meanwhile, hits exactly one home run prior to being released by the Twins, but along with it comes the most epic bat flip in franchise history.
Fernando Romero becomes a superstar in Japan
Romero becomes the ace of the Yokohama DeNA BayStars and wins the Sawamura Award, the NPB equivalent to the Cy Young Award. He fails to clear customs returning to the Dominican Republic after the season ends when it’s discovered he attempted to smuggle a rare Ussuri brown bear from Japan into his home country.
Alex Kirilloff will not make his official MLB debut in 2021
Kirilloff was good enough to start a playoff elimination game, but the Twins front office decides more “seasoning” is needed for him in 2021. Kirilloff is once again added to the active roster at the onset of the postseason and is immediately inserted into the No. 3 spot in the lineup.
Josh Donaldson sets Statcast record
The Bringer of Rain fails to make amends with umpires. As a result, he has the highest percentage of pitches out of the zone called strikes in the Statcast era by a landslide. I have a confession to make. These are not predictions, this is the actual future. I’m not at liberty to say where I’ve obtained this information, but here is Donaldson’s pitch breakdown chart for 2021:
The Twins will win a playoff game (technically)
MLB expands the postseason to 32 teams. The field will be comprised of all 30 MLB teams and the top two Triple-A clubs. The Twins beat the St. Paul Saints via forfeit in the Wacky Wild Wowza Card Round, then lose to the Detroit Tigers in the Crazy Eights Card Round, which is determined by a single eight-inning contest. Kirilloff hits three home runs in the loss.
Happy New Year!
SEE ALSO
A Twins-Based Manifesto for Self-Improvement in 2021 | RandBalls Stu
21 New Year's Resolutions for the 2021 Twins | renabanena
Twins Offseason Status Update: Slow Going | Nick Nelson
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