State of Minnesota Relaxes Guidelines for Yelling at Twins

The Twins may see lower attendance AFTER the restrictions are lifted. If they keep playing like this we will need “social distancing” from them more than any time during the crappy pandemic.

I'm hoping the Twins decide to let relievers start the games and let the starter finish the last 4-5 innings. Maybe that will work.

Has there been any word yet on a possible vaccine to prevent the bullpen from vomiting all over themselves in the late innings?

Masks now optional at Target Field, but paper bags over your head mandatory for anyone in seats designated as "in background view of center field, on deck circle, and bullpen TV cameras. Paper bags optional for all others. Cut out eye holes in bags will not exceed 2.5 inches in diameter. Drawing mask on bag with sharpie for comedic effect not permitted. That would be funny...once."

Also, if you are in the bleachers over left, center or right field (or the Plaza) when the bullpen is ptching, a helmet is not required but recommended

The similarities  between watching Twister and the Twins, besides the only slight differences in spelling and the fact that both are disasters, is that they both include a cow. In Twister the tornado ends up having the cow. Watching the Twins, you end up having a cow! 

Thank you, Minnesota, for loosening these restrictions.

 

Twister is a good choice for this article. Everyone thought that movie was great when it came out. You have to see it, everyone said, it's so awesome, such wonderful special effects. When I saw it, I could not help but to laugh at the acting and story. I still think it's probably the worst thing I have ever seen, and yes I have seen the Kimmy Schmidt "Choose your own adventure" episode.

 

This is a great metaphor for the expectations v. the reality of the Twins season. Though, honestly, that film is so bad, I would prefer to watch the Twins even if they were losing big. The Twins have yet to lay an egg as bad as Twister, so at least we have that! Heck, I don't think it's even possible for a baseball team to be as bad as that movie. I just can't imagine a 0-162 team being more painful to watch than Twister.

On the other hand, the board game by the same name has some correlation to Rocco’s attempts to explain some of his bizarre in game moves. In both instances, it’s really a stretch! 

Also, if you are in the bleachers over left, center or right field (or the Plaza) when the bullpen is ptching, a helmet is not required but recommended

We used to joke about this when the Twins brought in Mike Marshall or Ron Davis in for save opportunities. We were always out in the left field cheap seats.

I’d add “in his Twins prime” Mike Marshall to this relief staff in a heartbeat. He received Cy Young votes in his first two years here. Ron Davis is another matter (he had a nice year as a set up guy for the Yankees before coming here).