Off Day Allows Twins Fan to Convince Himself Season Isn’t Lost

Thursday’s off day allowed the battered Minnesota Twins 24 valuable hours of rest. What it did for the fan base was perhaps even more critical.

“You know, they’re only nine games below .500,” said Ethan Adams. “Not even ten games out of first, either. Put together one more good week and now we’re talking.”

Adams, an otherwise normal Waseca man with hopes, dreams, and a small HVAC repair business, credits the lack of a Thursday game with giving him the space to feed his grasping delusions of an unprecedented turnaround.

“You get caught up in the grind of a regular season and miss the big picture,” said the 43-year-old. “Having some time to talk myself into not giving up on 2021 was so important. If there was a game, they might have lost. No game, no loss, no extra player or players on the injured list. That’s practically a win. I know all the so-called experts say it’s impossible, but what if they’re wrong this time?”

Minnesota’s recent run of competence has come while playing the dreadful Baltimore Orioles. Adams says he’s bargained with the fact that it might just be that the competition was soft.

“Do I remember the White Sox absolutely throttling them and Alex Colome being worse than Ron Davis and Byron Buxton getting hurt again,” asked Adams. “Yes I do. But the Orioles sweep just happened! Recency bias gets a bad rap in my book. They should call it recency badass. You can quote me on that.”

Friends say this isn’t Adams’ first foray into desperate hope.

“Ethan has more than once said to me that this year’s Vikings team ‘has the look,’” said longtime friend Samantha Thiede. “And I’m absolutely certain he means the look of a champion. The Minnesota Vikings. He’s lived here his entire life. I worry about him sometimes.”

“All the other contenders will be giving up young assets to acquire players for the pennant race,” mused Adams. “All the Twins have to do is get back their healthy players and it’ll be all over but the shouting. Sets us up for the years to come, too.”

“Every winter, he says this is the year Gophers basketball returns to glory,” said Thiede. “Again, he’s lived here his entire life. He follows these teams closely. He has to know that he sounds like a madman.”

“It’s like The Rock in San Andreas,” said Adams. “Even if the odds are long, you don’t give up and you damn well take the fight to your opponent, even if it’s an earthquake and you just have your bare hands and a helicopter.”

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