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  • sat·ire | (/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/) | noun
    the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

    Lockout Lookup: Matt Capps


    RandBalls Stu

    For the duration of this dumb lockout, I’m going to find former Twins of note, tell you a little bit about them, and let you know what they’re doing now to the best of my ability.

    Image courtesy of Unsplash/Shazaf Zafar

    Twins Video

    Subject: Matt Capps

    Why You Remember Him: Once upon a time, the Twins had a promising catcher named Wilson Ramos stuck behind Joe Mauer. They didn’t have a closer. Joe Nathan was hurt. Terrifying actual giant man Jon Rauch was ineffective. This was also right about the time when people were noticing how much more valuable a good catcher was than a position you could fill with literally any Tom, Ric, or Eddie who could hurl a decent fastball for one inning.

    But. But! The Twins were still in “we need a proven closer” mode, and they were not going to head into the meat of the schedule without one. What would Goose Gossage think? WHAT WOULD GOOSE GOSSAGE THINK? So, they sent Ramos to Washington for Matt Capps. And Capps was...fine-ish. And “bilateral leg weakness” became a familiar term. And the light-hitting Drew Butera was the catcher instead of Mauer or Ramos. And then the Twins were bad for a long time. Not that I’m bitter about it.

    What You Don’t Remember: His middle name is Dicus. And he was the winning pitcher in the 2010 All-Star Game.

    What’s He Up To: Working in the TV booth for the Pirates. One of his co-workers? Former FSN staple Robby Incmikoski. Where have you gone, Telly Hughes? 

    Anything else: The spoonerism for his name is the best one for a Twins pitcher since Willie Banks.

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    July 2, 2011.... gorgeous evening at Target Field. The Twins were leading the Brewers, the cheese heads were silent, the hot dogs were good, and then Matt Capps ruined my summer. Do you ever get that knot of anger deep inside you and you feel like crying? (Vikings fans will know what I'm talking about.)

    Some trades are bad in retrospect, but this one was a head scratcher from day one. A blue chip catching prospect for.....Matt Capps. Rauch was not "ineffective". He was actually having a pretty good year. Was he Joe Nathan...no, but then neither was Matt Capps.

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