Mauer's a slouch. That should have been a triple.

(According to the Book of River Brian)

 

And we know this because... he later scored.

 

Ballgame's not over, but it sure is nice to see the guys raise a lump on the head of a top-shelf pitcher.

I had to give cpr on my neighbors boxer today. I brushed my teeth for 20 minutes afterwards.

 

You were doing it wrong. You give CPR to the mouth, not to the boxers.

Mauer's a slouch. That should have been a triple.

(According to the Book of River Brian)

Had it been, it'd be 3-1 right now.

You were doing it wrong. You give CPR to the mouth, not to the boxers.

 

I wish Chitown was here.

I wish Chitown was here.

 

Why, you got moobs to post? The dog CPR story was bad enough, thankyewverymuch.

Any Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band fans in the audience?

 

Kama, Kama, Kama Sutra with me, yeah yeah

Kama, Kama, Kama Sutra with me, yeah yeah

We tried position 31

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

It was terrific fun, uh huh

In position 72

You were me

And I was you, uh

Kama, Kama, Kama Sutra with me, yeah yeah

Kama, Kama, Kama Sutra with me, yeah yeah

 

 

I really hope I was created while that song was playing.

Why, you got moobs to post? The dog CPR story was bad enough, thankyewverymuch.

 

IIRC, you were the one who first brought up moobs tonight.

Why, you got moobs to post? The dog CPR story was bad enough, thankyewverymuch.

 

What in the world is a moob, and why are you calling me one?

I am sorry that I am going to miss most of this -- meeting wife in 15 minutes to see a movie.

What in the world is a moob, and why are you calling me one?

You don't want to know, and you don't want to know.

I am sorry that I am going to miss most of this -- meeting wife in 15 minutes to see a movie.

 

Which one?

I am sorry that I am going to miss most of this -- meeting wife in 15 minutes to see a movie.

Hey Glunn - what movie is on the agenda?

I am sorry that I am going to miss most of this -- meeting wife in 15 minutes to see a movie.

It'll be pretty dark, are you sure she'd notice if you weren't there?

Which one?

 

His first wife.

Which one?

 

Your Billy the Kid. I am not.

His first wife.

 

Yeah, you saw what I was setting him up for. He didn't bite though.

Which one?

 

Blue Jasmine. Sadly, it does not feature Michelle Williams.

Looks like the idiot Terry Ryan missed another opportunity to sell high.

Everyone has their "welcome to the Big Leagues, kid" moment. Albers is having his right now.

So who brought the kryptonite to the game tonight?

His first wife.

 

The one with the .38.

The troopers in the "don't drink and drive/boat" PSAs must have studied at the same acting school as Mauer.

I shipped my wife and kid off to the Twins game so I could roast 3 doz ears of corn in peace. This is what my life has come to.

I so want to like Plouffsie.

 

He seems determined to foil me.

Which one?

 

I thought multiple wives was a Utah thing...

I so want to like Plouffsie.

 

He seems determined to foil me.

 

My kids love him because he's cute.

I shipped my wife and kid off to the Twins game so I could roast 3 doz ears of corn in peace. This is what my life has come to.

 

You'll have to do something nice for her later to apologize.

I thought multiple wives was a Utah thing...

 

Eastern Idaho too - 50% mormon.

I thought multiple wives was a Utah thing...

 

Those Utahians are gluttons for punishment.

IIRC, you were the one who first brought up moobs tonight.