Gotta throw strikes. Just have to.

Super duper

 

OK - This is a very serious question/post...

 

I have my MLB debute for the Twins Daily Game Thread on August 13th.  I haven't slept in weeks and find myself short of breath on most days.  I'm not sure what to write.  Mostly I'm afraid my literary style will either bore or offend someone.  

 

Any suggestions on what to write?  Ideas on topics?  

 

I'm afraid.  Help...

Sandwiches. Everybody likes sandwiches. And if you make and eat an eggshell and celery sandwich, I'll pay you a dollar. The secret is the 50/50 mix of pepper corns and fennel seeds in the raspberry vinaigrette. 

 

You could write: "Go Twins!" and post the lineup. Works for me.

Thank you kind reader for you're advice.  I will consider this. 

Rogers made that interesting....

WH's four stages of female courtship.

http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/11/18/enhanced/webdr08/anigif_enhanced-13375-1402524173-9.gif

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5bf42icjd1r0jeh0o2_250.gif

http://briff.me/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Post-4-The-Princess-Bride-Fun-Facts-From-Behind-the-Scenes-Fezzik-Paddle.gif

http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4p75jeI591qakh43o3_250.gif

Yes Dozier!

OK - This is a very serious question/post...

 

I have my MLB debute for the Twins Daily Game Thread on August 13th.  I haven't slept in weeks and find myself short of breath on most days.  I'm not sure what to write.  Mostly I'm afraid my literary style will either bore or offend someone.  

 

Any suggestions on what to write?  Ideas on topics?  

 

I'm afraid.  Help...

Don't offend just someone, offend everyone.

 

Wait, I'm a moderator don't do that.

 

You'll do great and no one will criticize no matter what you write. Thanks for doing it too.

DOZIER TRIPLE 

http://cdn.funcheap.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/fireworks21.jpg

Mound Visit Transcipt

 

Allen: Molly wants me to talk to you about the walks. 

 

Rogers: OK

 

Allen: You've walked two batters.

 

Centeno: (Holds up two fingers) Dos

 

Allen: I got this Juan. 

 

(Pause) (Stares at Taylor)

 

Allen: OK... that's all I got. 

That's a Gnu one. I Like it!

Alas, i cannot take credit:

 

From the Great Space Coaster on tv in the 80s...

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mAwVIZDAUF0

Edited August 4, 201610 yr by sampleSizeOfOne

 

OK - This is a very serious question/post...

 

I have my MLB debute for the Twins Daily Game Thread on August 13th.  I haven't slept in weeks and find myself short of breath on most days.  I'm not sure what to write.  Mostly I'm afraid my literary style will either bore or offend someone.  

 

Any suggestions on what to write?  Ideas on topics?  

 

I'm afraid.  Help...

Just remember the immortal words of the great Mark Twain, who comforted a friend (Chief, maybe?) who was about to address a large, contentious town meeting, with these words: "Don't worry, they're not expecting much".

 

J/K, you'll do great. Do some plagiarizing if you feel like it. Worst case is that you get some political speech writing job offers.

Edited August 4, 201610 yr by LaBombo

Has Mauer gone back to eating at Jimmy John's?  That can be the only explanation.

Its like the Twins are cashing in their entire backlog of RISP karma at once on the Indians. I kinda feel bad for them.

Mauer has about 35 RBIs this series

BACK TO BACK TRIPLES !!!!

http://www.vereencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/fireworks-photography-new-years-2013-chicquero-28.jpg

Mauer power!

 

OK - This is a very serious question/post...

 

I have my MLB debute for the Twins Daily Game Thread on August 13th.  I haven't slept in weeks and find myself short of breath on most days.  I'm not sure what to write.  Mostly I'm afraid my literary style will either bore or offend someone.  

 

Any suggestions on what to write?  Ideas on topics?  

 

I'm afraid.  Help...

First off, don't worry so much. This is the thread where you don't have to have all your facts and metrics and whatnot ... just make stuff up if you have.

 

Second, if you haven't offended and/or bored someone, then you're not doing it right. So don't worry about offending or boring anyone ... worry that you won't.

 

Third, just start writing ... funny, serious, drab, straight, circuitous, whatever. There is absolutely no game thread judgement here. None. Game thread starts and starters ... judgefree zone.

Can we now consider the voodoo jinxes invalidated? 

 

 

Its like the Twins are cashing in their entire backlog of RISP karma at once on the Indians. I kinda feel bad for them.

no you don't.......

Woohoo! Dozier going opposite field and Mauer pulling the ball. What a strange new world we are living in.

 

Its like the Twins are cashing in their entire backlog of RISP karma at once on the Indians. I kinda feel bad for them.

I don't.

We must also consider the sage advice of the great Steve Martin. When you want to BE funny, first you must FEEL funny. Start by filling your shoes with mashed potatoes, then work from there.

 

Mauer has about 35 RBIs this series

So he's up to, like, 44 for the season!

 

Can we now consider the voodoo jinxes invalidated? 

Agreed.  It is a total mockery of common sense.

Has Mauer gone back to eating at Jimmy John's? That can be the only explanation.

He's eating androstenedione!

 

 

Second, if you haven't offended and/or bored someone, then you're not doing it right. So don't worry about offending or boring anyone ... worry that you won't.

 

So you mean I've been doing it right all along?

What is Sano doing?

Anybody notice that Rosario looks a little like Al Pacino?

Wut