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Peanuts from Heaven

A blog by PeanutsFromHeaven in Twins Daily

  • Entries

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About this blog

[FONT=Arial]Welcome to our Twins blog. We'll bring up some "facts" and "stats", from time to time, but our real strength lies in sarcasm, silliness and Yankee-baiting.[/FONT]

Entries in this blog

The Ken Burns' Test

In one week, the Hall of Fame will announce who (if anyone) was elected to Cooperstown. There are a privileged few who get to vote for those hallowed halls, but just because most bloggers don't have a say, doesn't mean we can't use our blogs to have a say about literally everything else, including silly little exercises in analyzing Hall of Fame voting. Last year I offered an economist's sense of how to vote in order to maximize your ballot. This year, as I continue to avoid numbers at all costs

The Twins' New Year's Resolutions

It's been a while since our last post (blahblahblah job, blahblahblah earning salary, blahblahblah spending holiday time with friends and loved ones). But we're back with a very special post as we consider the 2014 resolutions of your Minnesota Twins. Joe Mauer Baseball Resolution: Hit like a boss now that defense doesn't crush my legs. Life Resolution: Be hospitable while hosting my fellow all-stars this summer, maybe even say multi-syllabic words to them! Brian Dozer Baseball Resolution: Prove

A Winter Meeting's Guide to Twinsey World

Monday marks the kickoff of the Winter Meetings in Orlando, Florida (aka: a convenient holiday for baseball executives and their families). Naturally, as the Twins do their part at the Winter Meetings for the next four days, they may make time to have a little fun in the Happiest Place on Earth That is Also a Festering Swamp. But the attractions they see may have extra ramifications on their plans for the next four days. Here we present the possible outcomes of how what they see and could manife

What Ricky Nolasco Really Brings to the Twins

News broke yesterday that former Marlins/Dodgers pitcher, Ricky Nolasco will be signing with the Twins (reportedly for a four/five year deal worth between 49 and 62 Million dollars). There are many things to consider in this signing: the sudden acquisition of a (relative) strike out artist for a "pitch-to-contact" team; the commitment through 2018 (making Nolasco one of only 3 Twins guaranteed that long a deal); the degree of responsibility and position of "leader" foisted on a player who has on

The Promise of Players: A Blueprint to Win the Game of Bases and Balls

'Tis the season for the best baseball minds (and me) in the Twinsblogosphere to offer their takes on what the local 9 ought to do to improve their roster. Using the Twins Daily Offseason Handbook as a guide, you take your best crack at improving the Twins. Many bloggers dig deep for undervalued gems, or carefully consider how to balance free agency with player development. I choose an irrelevant theme and offer totally implausible pipe-dreams for about 1000 words. Let's not mince words: the Twin

The 2013 Twins By the Only Stat that Matters (Pt. 3: Pitchers & Front Office)

This is the first in a series of three articles evaluating the Twins 2013 Season. First we introduced the stat, then we used it to analyze hitters, finally we'll use it to analyze pitchers and staff members. Anyone can evaluate a player's performance in the field, but what about their performance in the field of entertainment? The Twins completed their third straight 90-loss season, but rather than chastise the unproductive and cheer the talented, I'm here to praise the players who made it fun t

The 2013 Twins by the Only Stat that Matters (Part 2: The Hitters)

This is the second in a series of three articles evaluating the Twins 2013 Season. First we introduced the stat, now we're using it to analyze hitters, finally we'll use it to analyze pitchers. Anyone can evaluate a player's performance in the field, but what about their performance in the field of entertainment?     The Twins completed their third straight 90-loss season, but rather than chastise the unproductive and cheer the talented, I'm here to praise the players who made it fun to watch ga

The 2013 Twins By the Only Stat that Matters (Pt. 1: The Stat)

This is the first in a series of three articles evaluating the Twins 2013 Season. First we introduce the stat, then we use it to analyze hitters, then we use it to analyze pitchers. There's plenty of time to dissect the Twins' season, and there are plenty of people to do it. Rather than crunch the numbers or analyze the trends, I prefer to dissect it in the best way I know how: poorly! It's in that spirit that I offer the following new statistic: AARP or Amusement Above Replacement Player. [I am

An Alternate Reality Solution to the Twins Problems

I read this in the Economist last week http://cdn.static-economist.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/full-width/images/2013/10/blogs/game-theory/20131005_blp502.jpg Cuban athletes in all sports will now be allowed to compete in foreign leagues, as long as they pay taxes of around 20% at home and remain available to play for their country in major competitions. ... Unfortunately for MLB, however, the new policy will have only a minimal impact on the league’s access to Cuban stars....Th

Why are we listening to this?

That was my wife's question to me on Friday night as we drove to Culver's to use a buy one get one free coupon. We got the coupon at a ballgame this summer...a Saints game. Driving to Culver's to redeem it, listening to the Twins (a team that didn't even win me a scoop of ice cream this year) struggling against the Indians, it took me a second to think of an answer to that question. Then I did. 1. It's the Twins. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zY1QialCYbQ/UUkPnoLgOsI/AAAAAAAACH0/vxvl0L_l6hU/s200/Good

The Great Twins Scotch Bet: Ready for the Final Act

[TABLE=class: tr-caption-container, align: center] http://ww2.hdnux.com/photos/23/72/01/5218401/3/628x471.jpg [TD=class: tr-caption]It's sweet of you to keep trying Pedro, really, it is.[/TD] [/TABLE] Entering the final week of the season there are many dramatic moments left in Twins territory. We could see a team clinch the central division, we could see a team clinch the wild card, neither of those teams could be us...but still...drama!         Still there are a few people who are hoping t

The Plouffe Paradox

Last Friday, I attended what will likely be my last game of the year. As you would expect, I ate more than was good for me, and watched the Twins go down in ignominious defeat. I also heard a noise I had never heard before at the ballpark. There were men at first and second with one out when a ground ball rolled harmlessly to Trevor Plouffe. One out, easy as pie...but did he throw the ball to second base for the double play? No. No he did not. I've heard fans boo; I've heard fans jeer; I've hear

The Great Twins Scotch Bet: Part Deux

[TABLE=class: tr-caption-container, align: center] http://mng-twincities.smugmug.com/photos/i-bH52wwS/0/L/i-bH52wwS-L.jpg [TD=class: tr-caption]If I win that 18 year old Highland Park, you get a taste Josmil[/TD] [/TABLE] As some of you might remember, we Peanuts have found a way to make the last few weeks of yet another lost season slightly interesting: GAMBLING!         Okay, so we don't have any real money on the line, just requests for Scotch that we likely would have spent money on anyw

The Great Twins Scotch Bet

[TABLE=class: tr-caption-container, align: center] http://stmedia.startribune.com/images/434*328/1%20gal%20twins090713.jpg [TD=class: tr-caption]Kevin Corriea: Determined to Win My Wife a Scotch[/TD] [/TABLE] At the start of the year my wife (aka Stinky), her father (aka Gouger) and I made a bet. The winner of this bet would win two glasses of scotch (redeemable at any time they chose), the losers would buy said scotch. The subject of the bet, naturally for a set of Twins fans, was how ma

Getting the Band Back Together

Years ago, back when there were frequent playoff berths and easy jokes to crack amid winning seasons, we debuted a segment called: Sargent Gardy's Lonely Hits Club Band. Part Beatles homage, part McLaughlin Group homage, all goofy. Few people read them...but I was amused enough to make a t-shirt in their honor. I was wearing that t-shirt yesterday when my father-in-law sent the following text message: "Morneau is gone-hope they can get him back next year." My wife and I reacted as most fans did,

Adopt a Prospect Vol 2.5: Never Give Up, Never Surrender

This is the final installment of our inconsistent series attempting to motivate Luis Perdomo who was today, released by the Rochester Redwings and Minnesota Twins Wings moves: RHP Luis Perdomo released; RHP Cole De Vries promoted from Double-A New Britain. — Rochester Red Wings (@RocRedWings) August 27, 2013[TABLE=class: tr-caption-container] [TD=align: center]http://cmsimg.democratandchronicle.com/apps/pbcsi.dll/bilde?Site=A2&Date=20130730&Category=SPORTS06&ArtNo=307300090&Re

Dog Days: It's Okay for Puppies to Lose

Hi again humans. I am Sidney, and I am blogging for my humans. Why you ask? My humans are frustrated with the Twins. They lose and lose, they say. My humans even argue over how much the Twins will lose, which is kind of silly because even if one of my humans win...they will watch the Twins lose. When my hairy human takes me in the car (which I hate so much it makes me vomit in fury), he presses a button and we hear the voices of other people talking about the Twins...and how much they lose. Ever

Dog Days: You Guys are Weird

[TABLE=class: tr-caption-container] [TD=align: center]http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6032/6342798396_df65fee285.jpg [/TD] [TD=class: tr-caption, align: center]I SEE YOU READING THIS CAT!! [/TD] [/TABLE] Hello again. I am Sidney the Dog. And I am writing the August posts for my humans. They are training to run 10 miles. They are weird. I have noticed that many humans are weird. If you are a human who is reading this, think about it. (But if you are a cat on a human's lap reading this...HEY! ST

Dog Days: The Ideal Offense

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_lrSktXEYwg/T4xkrxSCU2I/AAAAAAAABmk/oYt4X6yDo4I/s320/IMG_5087.JPG Hello Humans...my name is Sidney. I am a dog. I am going to write some blog posts this month. My humans normally write this blog thingy about baseball and good stuff. But lately they've been all tired and stuff. They get up and run many miles while I sleep on the porch. They work on things like spreadsheets and lesson plans while I sleep on the couch. They clean up the house and and read lots of books and

A-Rod: Baseball's A-hole Boyfriend

[TABLE=class: tr-caption-container] [TD=align: center]http://www.sportspickle.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/arod-cigar.jpg[/TD] [TD=class: tr-caption, align: center]Is that a match or a cup of tea? (sportspickle.com)[/TD] [/TABLE] I've always been a bit of a softie when it comes to athletes in trouble. I rooted for Nick Blackburn and Tsuyoshi Nishioka to make a comeback when they were as unpopular as they could possibly be, I defended Joe Mauer through the public vitriol that surrounded his

Trade Talk: The New York Yankees

Buyers or Sellers Remember the start of the season when all the "experts" were forecasting a fall from grace for the Yankees? [sigh] Those were the days to be a Yankee hater. Now a team of has-beens and "who-the-hell?"s are sitting a couple games over .500 and just a hundful games out of the Wild Card race.   And even if they weren't, the Yankees would still be buyers. They'll always be buyers   A plague of flesh eating bacteria could decimate the entire franchise, and the Yankees would still b

The Nobel Prize, Steroids and You

(This little diatribe is originally posted and possibly more clearly formatted at our other website: Peanuts from Heaven)   In what will come as no surprise to anyone who reads my writing regularly, I don't like math. I much prefer words (hence the whole teaching English and writing-a-tonnage-of-words-for-my-own-amusement-thing), but I know that math has a valuable place in the world. That's why I read London based magazine The Economist (well, that and the snarky captions & covers). In the

Adopt a Prospect Vol 2.4: Enjoy the Little Things, Like Pizza Stop Pizza

(Disclaimer: since this seminar is designed for Luis Perdomo, Peanuts From Heaven shall not be held responsible for any injury--either physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual--incurred by any person who adopts seminar lessons as their own. We do however take complete credit for any improvement--either physical, mental, emotional or spiritual...and especially financial--of the life of any person who adopts seminar lessons as their own) http://thumbs4.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/m_6AoKqKx5RNjQjtpTmQ

Wha' Happened #10 ("Best" Games)

There's a fuller write up "recapping" the last week plus in Twins Territory at our main blog, but here are a few key samplings from each series   Game 76 Marlins 5 - Twins 3 The Twins have a good deal of early success against Miami's starter in the first inning, they run into trouble against Kevin "Killthrow" Slowey, who savored the opportunity to best the team that let him go. Elsewhere "Dr. Cakeburn"Nick Blackburn, and Boof Bonser plotted their revenges as part of the Legion of Pitching Doom.

Beautiful Games: Why Baseball and Soccer Go Hand-in-Foot

On Friday Mrs. Peanut and I will go to England/Scotland on vacation, this means there will be very few PFH blogs coming out (I have a few scheduled to drop in absentia), but in preparation for that and as fine example of laziness time-management, I'm using a blog from another site: The Montanan Hooligans' World Cup Center since it relates to why I love baseball. If what I write makes you even slightly curious about more soccer writing, feel free to check that out...and know that while baseball m

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