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  1. High-profile blown calls and ridiculous strike zones in the 2019 playoffs have only enhanced the call for robot umpires. One “old school” MLB manager accepts that something needs to be done. However, he urges caution. “I just need to know this: can I yell at the robots?” asked Detroit Tigers manager Ron Gardenhire. “If the guys are out there getting after it, picking it and taking it the other way, I want blue to keep it fair. If they’re missing calls, they need to hear about it.” The former Twins manager and notoriously fiery baseball lifer allowed that making the strike zone more consistent was necessary. “If I got my guy out there rocking and firing, I want the strikes to be strikes and the balls to be balls. But if they have a robot back there and one of their wires gets crossed, I’m going to defend my guy. Is it a person-shaped robot like The Terminator? Is it just a goldang laptop on a card table? I’m going to give it what for regardless, but I just need to know if I can do that.” A spokesperson for Major League Baseball said that no determination on changes in umpiring have been made, and likely wouldn’t be until the Winter Meetings. Meanwhile, a spokesperson for the ghost of Earl Weaver issued a statement that Weaver wants all robot umpires to know that, like their human forebears, they can perform a physically impossible sexual act upon themselves and then do the same to their mothers, grandmothers, and a startling variety of woodland creatures. For his part, Gardenhire just wants there to be clear guidelines when there are issues to be addressed. “Robots are one thing, but what if they use one of them flying robots,” said Gardenhire, referring to drones. “Nothing gets my blood up more than an umpire who turns his back on me when I’m saying my piece. They get a robot that can fly away? Not gonna happen, not on my watch. I gotta hear your bleeps and bloops, you're gonna hear me, that's for certain.”
  2. Coaches are underrated, underpaid and picking a coaching staff is hard. That’s what I’ve learned since attempting to dig into all the coaching candidates to fill positions on the 2015 Minnesota Twins coaching staff. Choosing a coaching staff is largely the manager’s job, but Terry Ryan will certainly play an active role in who the new manager hires, especially if the new manager is young and influential. Although recently it seems anyone Gardy wanted Terry allowed. Perhaps we’re seeing and feeling the effects of that now. This blog was originally published at GoGonzoJournal.com The right collection of coaches makes all the difference, but the problem with forming a staff is the coaches you want the most already have jobs they wouldn’t leave except for a promotion to manager, which forces promotion from within rather than seeking outside. There’s not enough money devoted to MLB coaching staffs, and too much devoted to owners and players. If the coaching market and players’ market had the same amount of money devoted to each, it would make this Twins’ rebuild even more interesting. But as it stands, it’s pretty damn boring, so in an attempt to spice up the search for Gardy’s replacement, here’s a Gonzo list of coaches I’d like to see on the Twins’ staff next season, some of which may be untouchable or a little too Gonzo, but I’ve provided runner-up choices as well. http://i0.wp.com/gogonzojournal.com/wp-content/uploads/Julio-Franco.jpeg?zoom=2&resize=159%2C200 Julio Franco, 55, prepares to hit as a player/coach for the Fort Worth Cats. Strength and Conditioning Coach/Assistant Hitting Coach – Julio Franco I think Mark Berardino tossed his name out there on Gleeman and the Geek this week and I was immediately interested in what Franco’s been up to. Well, he most recently became the only person to play professional baseball in five different decades. He returned, at the age of 55, to act as a player/coach for the Fort Worth Cats, and is looking for an opportunity to get back into affiliated ball after some time coaching in Venezuela. Although he has no experience as a strength and conditioning coach, he obviously has a personal fountain of youth. This 2006 article describes Franco’s diet and exercise, saying he “stays fit and chiseled through intense workouts and cross training in the off season. In addition to regular cardio workouts, he lifts weights and uses plyometrics, exercises to maintain power and explosiveness.” If he’s fit enough at that age to swing a baseball bat and run to first base, I think he can hold the Twins together better than Perry Castellano has. He’d be a great addition to serve as an assistant hitting instructor for the young, Spanish-speaking Twins players as well. Runners-up: Ichiro Suzuki, Torii Hunter If these guys don’t get contract offers this winter, they should both be strength and conditioning coaches in Major League Baseball. Their run has been more than impressive. Suzuki’s 41 years old and still looks 21, and Torii, 40, can still swing the bat. Hell, the Twins might pay either of them to play a little left field and do some instructing if the price is right. The language barrier may be a barrier for Suzuki, but the point is I’ll take anyone but Castellano. Either give me somebody who can make Mauer a horse or give me somebody who can make him bend so much he never breaks. I’d prefer the horse. Athletic Trainer – Larry Bennese I don’t know many trainers, but Bennese must be a good one. He won the Florida State League’s Trainer of the Year award five times, and he’s put in the time in the Twins’ system – 19 years with the organization. He’s only been in Rochester for two years, but he’ll be familiar with a lot of the bodies on the Twins’ roster and how to handle them, especially the pitchers. It seems like a move Terry Ryan would make. Bullpen Coach – Marty Mason Mason is an easy choice to be the Twins’ bullpen coach because he’s put in the time – 28 years as a coach, including 11 as Tony La Russa’s bullpen coach – and he knows the kids that will be pitching out of the Twins bullpen pretty well. I also think Mason was hired in 2012 as a possible replacement for Rick Anderson. He’s got quite the reputation for turning soft-tossing pitchers like Johan Pino and Logan Darnell into successes, and his pitching staff in Rochester was second in ERA and third in WHIP this season in the International League. A negative may be his inability to right Vance Worley. Mason didn’t have much in the cupboard in 2013, either. And maybe Alex Meyer and Trevor May could have developed faster, but I think with the right cans in the cupboard, Mason can make a mean casserole. http://i1.wp.com/gogonzojournal.com/wp-content/uploads/Minnesota-Twins-Paul-Molitor-.jpg?zoom=2&resize=300%2C168 First Base/Infield Coach – Paul Molitor I’d like to see Molitor stay on the staff, but I don’t know if that’s possible if he’s denied the manager job. He could even end up in Milwaukee. I just think this is the best spot for him. He’s a baserunning and defensive shifting wizard. He belongs on the bases, but if he does get Gardy’s job or decides to walk, there are some options. Runner-up: Jake Mauer The man played every infield position except catcher and wasn’t terrible at any of them. He’s also got a ton of energy and a winning attitude. Plus, maybe Joe will smile a little more with his bro down at first base. Third Base Coach – Gene Glynn I don’t think there’s any way he’s not on the Twins’ coaching staff in 2015. He certainly deserves it. He’s been a coach or scout for 20 years, and most of it as a third base coach. It just makes sense to promote him given his success at Rochester, and I think he’s being groomed to take over as manager in a couple of years. Hitting Coach – Tom Brunansky Brunansky proved his worth this year, getting through to Brian Dozier and Trevor Plouffe regarding plate discipline. The whole team walked early and often until pitchers realized who they were throwing to. Dozier and Plouffe continued to excel, and I don’t know anyone else I’d rather have teaching young, Twins talent the importance of patience. Pitching Coach – Jim Benedict This is just payback. Benedict fixed Vance Worley; he fixed Francisco Liriano with three words – “right back pocket.” The special assistant to Pirates’ GM Neal Huntington should get just about anything he wants. I don’t care what it costs, just bring him to Minnesota. He’s obviously the best there is in the game when it comes to pitching. He’s been turning other teams’ garbage into Pittsburgh’s treasure for years now. Runners-up: Dom Chiti, Frank Viola, Marty Mason Chiti worked wonders with Baltimore’s bullpen in 2014 and certainly has impressive credentials. He’s been coaching since 1982. Viola is coming off open heart surgery this spring, but rejoined the Las Vegas 51s, the Mets Triple-A affiliate, as pitching coach. Bench Coach – Terry Steinbach I wouldn’t mind Steinbach sticking around as bench coach, but I have a feeling he’s headed to Arizona.According to Mike Berardino, “Twins catchers have praised his work on their fundamentals,”but why is it that pitch framing has been largely ignored? Hiring him despite no major or minor league coaching experience was quite the shock. Runners-up: Gene Glynn, Doug Mientkiewicz Everybody seems to love Gene Glynn, or it could be a great learning opportunity for Mientkiewicz to do some of the manager’s grunt work. He’s never done that in his career, and it could change the way he treats his own bench coach. Manager – Ozzie Guillen Anybody who reads this blog knows Ozzie’s been my man for three years, and I’m not easing of the gas pedal now. Ozzie wouldn’t. Terry Ryan is interviewing the first minority candidate, Sandy Alomar, Jr., so the odds of Ozzie becoming “Don Piranha” are getting worse everyday. Terry Ryan doesn’t seem like an Ozzie kind of guy. He’s not one to put up with bull****, so here are some backup plans. http://i1.wp.com/gogonzojournal.com/wp-content/uploads/Minnesota-Twins-Rusty-Kuntz.jpg?zoom=2&fit=300%2C300 Runners-up, in order of preference: Rusty Kuntz, Paul Molitor, Torey Lovullo, Sandy Alomar, Jr., Gene Glynn, Doug Mientkiewicz I really like Rusty Kuntz, and not just because of his name. He’s regarded as the best outfield and baserunning coach by Nick Cafardo, and you can see it in Alex Gordon, Nori Aoki, Lorenzo Cain, and Jarrod Dyson. And what was one of the biggest problems for the Twins in 2014? Outfield defense. He looks good in the powder blue uniforms, and there aren’t many internal candidates with a specialty in outfield instruction, either. Molitor seems like a good fit. I’ve heard Twins players respond well to him, and considering his willingness to shift defensively and ability to teach good baserunning skills, I’d say he’s an upgrade. And you can’t deny the awkward way he was brought in as the seventh coach on the staff in charge of baserunning, infield defense, and “in-game strategy.” Sure sounds like a manager to me. Funny thing is hiring Molitor was all Gardy’s idea. Seems to me Gardy wanted a way out. Torey Lovullo has a reputation for being an encouraging guy, and maybe with all these young players coming up, the Twins could use more positive reinforcement than negative. I think this Twins team would be an ideal fit for Lovullo, and he would thrive in Minnesota. Sandy Alomar, Jr. is an interesting candidate because he’s a former catcher who can teach both Suzuki and Pinto the proper way to play the game defensively. I’m not sure I want Steinbach to be the only coach in that role. I think Glynn is going to groom Mientkiewicz into the job. Molitor may only stick around for a few years if he gets the job. It’ll be another Tom Kelly situation. Whoever inherits this team in three or four years is going to be given the keys to an old-fashioned, gas-guzzling, American muscle car with the power to get out of the parking lot in a hurry. Something tells me it’ll be Glynn or Mientkiewicz, but not this year. ---- Anthony Varriano is editor of Go Gonzo Journal, a sports blog featuring the rants of fans and outlaw journalists.
  3. That day I’d been calling for the past three years is finally here, and we can now speculate as to who will fill Ron Gardenhire’s shoes as manager of the Minnesota Twins. I don’t see any problem with the decision, and apparently neither did Gardy. “I agree with this. I think this is right,” he said at today’s press conference, citing many times that he’s “a fan,” and joking with Mike Berardino that he could punch him in the face now. “I want to see this team win.” Gardy was in good spirits all things considered, and has an open job offer to return, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he finds playoff success in Colorado with all the Twins’ former players. He better not bring Rick Anderson to that ballpark, though. I was surprised by some of the responses to the firing. Will Carroll said “Terry Ryan has no loyalty,” which I thought was a joke because Ryan has been the most loyal GM in the history of the game. And then Keith Olbermann replied by called the firing “cowardly” and Tweeting the ownership and front office were to blame for those losses, which I agree with. If there’s anyone to call out in this situation, it’s Jim Pohlad for not firing Terry Ryan. But come on, Keith. Terry Ryan’s job was on the line, too, and he couldn’t be the only general manager in MLB history to retain a manager with four consecutive 90-loss seasons…twice. http://i1.wp.com/gogonzojournal.com/wp-content/uploads/Screen-Shot-2014-09-29-at-12.52.54-PM.png?zoom=2&fit=300%2C300 Also, there is obviously a disconnect between the staff and players given the quality of play the last four years. The players may be shouldering the blame for their manager today, but at some point the MANAGER has to MANAGE, and get the most of his players. There is talent not reaching potential in Minnesota, especially in the pitching staff, and this firing was a firing of the staff and not just the manager. There are also concerns regarding a lack of Spanish-speaking coaches to relate to the young Latin stars the Twins have coming up. The jobs of the entire staff should be available and Ryan should cast a wide net. According to Jeremy Nygaard, the “Twins want staff in place by October 12,” so this job won’t be vacant for long, as the Twins Wikipedia page beautifully displayed this morning. But according to Berardino, my favorite candidate will be in France until October 18. As you all know, my candidate has been Ozzie Guillen, and there is some support for that idea out there. As of this writing, a Star Tribune poll found that 34% of 5,228 voters believe Terry Ryan should hire someone outside the organization. And Ozzie is, of course, interested. He’s always wanted to be a “piranha,” and it was confirmed today by Mike Berardino. Another ESPN analyst, Manny Acta, could be a calmer, safer way to bridge the Latin gap between the Twins’ roster and staff, but I like Ozzie’s credentials better. I think it’s important to bring someone in that has playoff success, which eliminates Jim Tracy and Bo Porter from the conversation. Other internal options include Doug Mientkiewicz, who I feel is the most accomplished internal option, Paul Molitor, who would serve merely as a figurehead since he has absolutely no experience managing, Terry Steinbach, a reasonable but unexciting coach, and even Jake Mauer, who I find to be a reach, but he certainly has the skill set. So there’s your shortlist, Terry. Seems to me Ozzie’s at the top of it, and I couldn't be happier.
  4. During the first inning of tonight's game against the Royals, Joe Mauer was called out on a ball he appeared to have fouled into the dirt. After he had walked back into the dugout, he continued to yell at home plate umpire Chris Segal, who was not taking very kindly to it. Gardenhire swiftly jumped out towards home and was immediately ejected, likely saving his star* first basemen from the same fate (which would have been the first of his career, BTW). Mauer is hitting long balls and running his notoriously quite mouth Gardy is referring to FanGraphs.com Kansas City is in first place Buxton and Sano have a combined 31 games in 2014 WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?!?!? Also, welcome to my Blog! -Noah Trautmann
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