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Turnover in the Twins front office continued Thursday, as recently-appointed executive chairman Joe Pohlad resigned effective immediately, just three days after accepting the role. No reason was given for his departure. Taking his place will be the next Pohlad in line, 6-year-old Zachary, great-grandson of the late Carl Pohlad.
“Great teams have a next man up mentality, and that applies to all levels of our organization,” said former executive chairman Jim Pohlad. “Zachary has the enthusiasm, engagement, and age-appropriate grasp of math and reading concepts you’d want in a leader.”
Twins CEO Dave St. Peter and president of baseball operations Derek Falvey will both report to Zachary. If they need to reach him during naptime or all-day kindergarten, team sources say Pohlad’s nanny Brigitte will handle all inquiries.
“He likes chewing gum, laughs at bodily function humor, and gets owly when he’s tired,” said a member of the coaching staff who requested anonymity. “That’s, like, half the bullpen. Just another guy we have to remind to wash his hands and limit his screen time. He’ll fit right in.”
Zachary’s teachers at Little Learners Montessori in Deephaven characterize the most powerful person in the Twins organization as “bright, energetic, and super into truck and dinosaurs.”
“That little guy loves Go-Gurts,” confirmed one instructor.
The team said Zachary was in a timeout for not sharing at recess and would address the media at an undetermined future date when he started making better choices.
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Coming off such an uncompetitive 2021 Major League Baseball season, there’s no doubt that Rocco Baldelli and the Twins front office hoped to turn the page in 2022. For a matter of months it looked like they would be the darling of a bad division, but ultimately, injury and poor performance caught up to them. When looking back at the year that was, there was still plenty of things to be excited and thankful for.
In no particular order, here’s five things that Twins fans can give thanks for as they cut into their turkey this week:
Byron Buxton Got Paid
Despite an offseason of uncertainty, and lockout uncertainty, the Minnesota Twins did what they had to and paid Byron Buxton. Sure, he’s injured a whole lot. Sure, you never know when he’s going to miss a boatload of games. There’s also the reality that when he’s on the field he’s among the best players in the entire sport. His 92 games in 2022 were the most he’s played in a season since 2017, and despite injuring his knee early on and having to play through what ultimately required surgery, he was an MVP candidate for much of the campaign. Buxton proved his worth again, and though all parties are hoping he can be on the field more, the front office absolutely did the right thing in getting a dynamic talent at a discount.
Carlos Correa Was Fun
Knowing that Minnesota had money to spend and replacing Andrelton Simmons at shortstop was a must, there was plenty of late spring excitement regarding Trevor Story. Then in the middle of the night Derek Falvey and Thad Levine struck a deal with Scott Boras client Carlos Correa. It was a three-year deal that was never going to matter beyond year one. Sure, it would be great if the parties came together for a long term pact this offseason, but even if they don’t, we’ll always remember the time that the Twins signed the best free agent available in a given season.
Royce Lewis Appeared
From the moment that Royce Lewis was the Minnesota Twins number one overall draft pick, there was hope he would become a superstar. He dealt with injuries and a pandemic that set him back while in the minors, but he returned from a torn ACL to light the farm system on fire. When Correa went down, he forced the organization’s hand. He was so good in fact, that the Twins needed to reposition him to keep him in the lineup. A second flukey ACL injury was certainly suboptimal, but we saw the talent that has been anticipated all along. He’ll be back at some point in 2023, and if the rehab goes smoothly, Minnesota certainly has a star in the making.
Jose Miranda Cemented His Performance
There hasn’t been a minor league season as good as Miranda had in 2021 for Minnesota in quite some time. His .973 OPS between Double and Triple-A was something to behold. Even with that, he didn’t crack the Opening Day roster. Once he was given an opportunity at the big leagues, Miranda was determined not to go back. His 116 OPS+ wasn’t otherworldly in 2022, but the slash line was even gaudier before a late season swoon. The rookie still managed to blast 15 homers in his first 125 Major League games, and he’ll be an integral part of the 2023 roster.
Jhoan Duran Lights It Up, Literally
You can go back as far as you’d like in Minnesota Twins history, and you won’t find a pitcher throwing triple-digits consistently. Not expected to make the Opening Day roster, Duran not only did that, but also emerged as the best arm in Minnesota’s pen and one of the best across baseball. He certainly could’ve been voted an All-Star as a rookie, and should expect to see more than a few of those games during his career. While the abnormal sprinkler is a pitch that drew plenty of discussion, his ridiculous fastball is what you show up for. He earned his own entrance music at Target Field, and is must-watch baseball every time he steps on the mound.
What else would you include in your list? What are you most thankful for as a Twins fan over the past year?

THE Gary Sánchez bat flip  When you order buffalo wings with ranch but accidentally get blue cheese instead  Seeing a beardless Josh Donaldson for the first time Going to the dentist, which is a wholly underrated experience.  Every Eddie Rosario error ever made Gotti The week after the Will Smith slap, when no one talked about everything except for the Will Smith slap Whatever this was Losing on Opening Day Going to the game on Dollar Dog Night only to realize Dollar Dog Night is tomorrow Leaving your Eddie Rosario bobblehead at the office before the pandemic only to have it stolen  *Sigh* Accidentally doing weird things with your mouth in public because you forgot that you’re not wearing a mask  The ACT’s AND the SAT’s  Somehow this too, because time heals all wounds  
 
 

Tyler Clippard 
Twins’ Tenure: 2020

Tyler Clippard celebrated his fifteenth season in the majors with the Arizona Diamondbacks last year, where he quietly had one of his best seasons yet. In the most competitive division in baseball, Clippard held a 3.20 ERA, 1.303 WHIP, and 1.9 K/W ratio. At age 37, Clippard is one of the oldest relievers on the market and unlikely to get a long-term contract with any team. This makes him a cost-efficient and effective addition to the team as an alternative to Taylor Rogers or Caleb Thielbar in short relief scenarios.
Blake Parker
Twins’ Tenure: half of 2019

Blake Parker was designated for assignment during the height of the Bomba Squad era and was quickly picked up by the Philadelphia Phillies. Last season, we briefly saw him in Cleveland’s bullpen, where he was, dare we say, pretty good! It’s as close to a 180 as we’ve seen since his last days in Minnesota. His 3.09 ERA, 142 ERA+, and 2.64 SO/W in 43 innings last season are fairly comparable to Tyler Duffey’s statistics. Similar to Clippard, his age is a disadvantage on paper, but his price tag is unlikely to break the bank. 
Kohl Stewart
Twins’ Tenure: 2018 - 2019

The Twins selected Kohl Stewart fourth overall in the 2013 MLB Draft, over the likes of Tim Anderson, Aaron Judge, and Twins’ legend Isiah Kiner-Falefa. He demolished the Minor Leagues until he was called up to the Majors in 2018, where he fizzled out almost immediately. Things have been challenging for Stewart since his release in 2019. He opted out of the 2020 season due to having Type 1 Diabetes, pitched for two months last year with the Cubs until he was placed on the 60-day IL, and was offered only a minor league assignment with the Cubs.  
With that said, Kohl Stewart is only 26 years old, making him over a decade younger than the others on this list. With the addition of a Cutter last season, Stewart has a six-pitch repertoire with varying degrees of success. He currently relies heavily on his Sinker, which is by far his least effective pitch. If the Twins can focus Stewart on perfecting his virtually unhittable Slider and newly-added Cutter, Stewart can become a Sergio Romo-esque reliever with a Thielbar-esque story. Due to his recent misfortunes, Stewart is likely also the cheapest addition on this list, Signing Stewart to another Minor League assignment is low-cost with a high upside. 

Sergio Romo
Twins’ Tenure: 2019 - 2020 

Speaking of Sergio Romo, this fan-favorite has spent time with almost every team in the league with no signs of stopping. Last season, opponents had a paltry .219 batting average against his infamous Slider. Romo also pitched 61 2/3 innings last year, one inning more than his All-Star season in 2013. Romo is a workhorse who seems to defy time and gravity. His return to Minnesota will be a welcome relief (pun intended) for fans who have lost so many other favorites this past week.  
Who else would you like to see the Twins reunite with? Leave a comment below!