Squirrel

Hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day

The White Sox announcers have been saying that about their team all night long

A friend told me that his doctor asked him the other day if he had been laying off the pasta like she recommended. He looked up at her and said "I'm trying Doc". It had been awhile since his last appointment so it was a little surprising to him to run into her at the Olive Garden like that.

With a shoulder that was about to fall off, and did well

Wait ... are you attempting analytics here?

wow ... 11 pages on a daytime game thread ... do none of you work?

Eh ... it is possible to have too many women's shoes ... I would know ... which is why I pared way back to 50-60 prs

No apologies, Mike ... we need some serious baseball talk in the mix

YES!!!!! And there is your backup CFer!

fyi, for another source, both these items were posted in the Twins MiL forum ... just so everyone knows there is such a place

This is why in the 'more surprised by' thread, I chose hitters. I mean, yes, while pleasantly surprised at the starting pitching, I felt that there was always the potential to be ... good enough ... but the hitting? I never expected it to be this bad. It's one big, team-wide, slump

He still seems very young to Chief, and always will

lol ... the other set of switches in the library are in the back and next to a door that only the building engineers use. They can come through that door into the library, but, there is no door handle so you can't go back through that door from the library into the 'entrails' of the building. So, there is no reason for us to ever use those switches ... except in 'fun'

One time I reversed only the middle switch (out of 3) ... lol ... that was fun

Same colleague ... LOVES to correct people, on everything. In fact, he admitted how much he loves it, from pronunciation to, well, pretty much everything anyone says, not even related to work. So, every so often (well, a little more than every), I intentionally mispronounce things. Or, after he's corrected me, continue mispronouncing that word, as many times as I can that day. Not sure that's really a practical joke, but it works for me and my other colleague.

I have a slightly OCD-ish colleague ... likes everything just so, in a certain order. Every day we come into the library, and flip the switches up to turn on the lights; and then, every night, we flip them down to turn off the lights. I reversed the switches so that you had to flip them down to turn them on, and up to turn them off. He got to the library and didn't know what to do. He immediately reversed them back so they were 'correct.'

Me, too ... NOT ****ing hilarious, @Brock Beauchamp

Thorpe released? https://www.cbssports.com/fantasy/baseball/news/lewis-thorpe-released-by-twins/

Oh good Lord … is that a jinx? You should know better. Shame on you!

You realize that about a third of Major League Baseball has the same issue? While it seems reasonable to us to work the schedule in our favor, the league has to deal with 29 other teams also making schedule requests. Would you really want the Twins to start the season on the road for 3-4;weeks? I don’t think that would work. But, that said, I don’t think April baseball helps. But the Twins have managed to have a few good games offensively, even in the cold, so I don’t think all of this can be attributed just to weather. The players themselves need to get it done. And they aren’t.

All I know is that the players need to get it together. This offense is on them more than anything else. I can’t say why it is this way but it shouldn’t be this bad. I don’t expect home runs from everyone at every at bat, but I do expect some hitting and I just can’t say why it’s this bad. Hopefully it turns around soon.

Well ... at least this game will be under 3 hrs ... but it still felt like twice that much

yes

I actually lust after those shoes ...