formerly33

I'm pretty sure my sister has better judgement when it comes to prospective dates than you have in sports teams.

Hey everyone ... my sister's on a date with a guy she's never met before. Sadly for her, it doesn't take Sherlock to hack her passwords, and I have access to all her conversations with this guy. Being an upstanding citizen, I haven't read them ... but I'm seriously considering texting him through her account and saying something like, "Are we still on for today?" And he'll be looking at her all confused and wondering who's been pulling his leg and which leg is being pulled, etc. etc. My question is, would that be too mean to my sister?

Oh rly? I thought Nolan Ryan was the reigning champion.

Isn't that why black bats break?

It's in that book on the top shelf, second from the left. Outscore the opponent.

No, they're all archived from days bygone. Chief has been witness to many of them ... a quick google search provides that evidence ... the stories are all over the place. It doesn't get realer than that.

I'm busy today, so all I'll say is happy birthday! You're now officially only one year younger than my sister ... somehow that age gap makes you seem a little less human.

Aha ... I can answer this one like a veteran neurologist: you should be okay if you give your brain a little time to adapt to these changes, but if that room is still spinning a week from now, I strongly recommend VRT.

You are too modest, Van. You just described yourself and the Whine Line.

What you're experiencing is a sudden and unexpected return of youth. It's been so long you don't even realize it ... but remember those days as a little kid when time dragged out and it took a lifetime to get from one birthday to the next? And when you got older the years flew by faster each year until birthdays didn't really mean anything except that people had higher expectations of you than before. I may be wrong as I'm not even close to your age yet, so perhaps it's normal for time to slow down, but I think that spell you cast to make you immortal like Chief actually worked out just fine. It'll just take a little growing used to. Next on the to-do list: Tinder was such a huge thing in the '80's, wasn't it.

My kind of dog. When you fry them all the way, you lose all that wonderful hotdog taste and get a burnt taste instead. Now I'm not saying burnt is bad ... it's okay as long as it's not mutilating a perfectly delicious dog. But if I eat a hotdog, I want to taste that hotdog. And I'll reiterate: absolutely NO ketchup.

Lot: "I can't believe you'd even dream of committing such a sinful act as homosexuality. Thankfully, I have two daughters who have never had sex ... you can go ahead and rape them all you want. But leave these guys alone because they're under the protection of my roof." Geez, was that one messed up dude.

Uh ... they took a space shuttle to Mercury? ok that was bad

"Don't feel too badly. I'm just making lame chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon."

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out! We don't allow noble gases here!" Argon doesn't react.

Thanks for the warning in advance; I just went and made a screenshot of nytwinsfan's *epic* rant.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal_(unit)

As the thread is rapidly deteriorating, I dug up a Chief-worthy joke for you guys. Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek. Pascal runs off and hides, but Newton takes out a piece of chalk and draws a square meter on the ground. He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts, "Ready or not, here I come!" Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him and intones, "I spy Newton!" Newton replies smugly, "No, you found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal."

I was going to tell him to remember the immature 13 yr old.

Streaking? ... wait ... that's dashing through a public place stark naked. Can't be. Refresh my memory.

If you remember, last year's lineups were very unconventional as well, yet they somehow seemed to work. I don't know whether to think he's a lot smarter than we'll give him credit for, or whether he's simply grown too big for his britches after having Fortune smile on him during his rookie year at the helm.

Plouffe-da.

I agree with Pardon ... boiled >>> grilled. And I'll take pretty much anything on my dog as long as there is no ketchup in sight.

According to Goofy, nothing's new under the sun. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMdTBep3W9c

FTFY