S.

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Well, the future for the fanbase is certainly going to be full of terrible pitching and embarrassing performances, so I'd say your statement is quite accurate.

The rest of us are upset with all these gosh darned home run trots interrupting the game.

Anyone who is must have a lot better drugs than the rest of us.

I mean, our decent players would get more ABs, so maybe it would be an improvement.

They could lick their entire hand, Mike Pelfrey style, every single pitch.

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Are we allowed to forfeit the remainder of the season, take the #1 draft pick, and take an extra long offseason to replace 95% of the front office/coaches from MLB all the way down through the minors?

Pat Dean getting mashed by major league hitters? Who would've guessed?

Is Liriano Toronto's #5 starter? Because I'm pretty sure he'd be our #2, and that makes my head hurt.

i think you clipped the second part of the sentence. It really said, "You still have to try to protect your team from your inept coaching staff." Unfortunately, that ineptitude extends to the coaches at the minor league level too.

Paul Molitor's Patented Lineup Generator ©

Grossman is like a white Delmon Young out there in left field. Minus all the racism and bat throwing.

I feel bad for all of your Vikings fans. Isn't watching the Twins punishment enough for the year? If you want some winter suffering, at least the Wild will get your hopes up for part of the season.

Keanu Reeves doesn't take kindly to you insulting his work ethic. Better watch your back!

honest question because i haven't been following our minor league teams at all: can i expect to see any of our flamethrowing RPs this season or have they all been disappointments so far?

I wish I got paid as much as Danny Santana to suck that bad at my job.

Step 1. Drink beer Step 2. ??? Step 3. Become Danny Santana

Remember that time earlier this week when Dick and Bert were praising Danny Santana's speed because he cut off a ball in the outfield that any outfielder besides Grossman would've also got to? That was a good one.

I mean, why else would they sell beer in 12 packs if they don't want you to drink 12 of them during a baseball game?

If your goal is to get completely annihilated, just change it to drink a beer every time he takes any called strike. And when he looks slow in the outfield. And when he noodle arms a throw. And every time we complain about him in the game thread. Don't blame me if you die though.

Wait, this isn't like little league where every player has to get playing time in both the infield and the outfield?

Cut the guy some slack, its really hard to draw walks when you swing the bat. Or something.