BeatTheRich

No, but Marie Antoinette often talks to me in my sleep. She claims she never said "Let them eat cake." What she really said is that the blackberry almond crumble was to die for. Her words, more or less. Probably less. In French, natch. She has no opinion on Shoemaker, but did say Dobnak deserves to start.

Astudillo has plenty of fans on the board. It's just that the detractors have been more vocal. The way the team has been going, with too many stars failing to step up, I welcome seeing Willians in the lineup. He's like Star Trek's Scotty, giving her all she's got.

No, of course not. The point I'm making is that three players at the bottom of our lineup are giving us as many total hits as one good hitter. That's abysmal.

There's gotta be a Steven Wright joke in there somewhere, but I'm in the dark here.

We know that Buxton can be great, but all the time on the IL reduces him to being only very good. Paraphrasing Bogie, "We'll always have April." It's not enough. As much as I like last-month Buxton, there's no way you can give him 250-300 million. Free agent after 2022? This may be the beginning of the end of a beautiful friendship.

With Rortvedt following at .083. Murderers Row it ain't.

I liked this, but actually I hate this ;-) Get well soon, Kirilloff, Arraez, Buxton... The bottom of the lineup looks like a black hole.

Larnach batting fifth. The three guys behind him hitting a combined .350. No joke. Yikes.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I keep forgetting how much I like Steven Wright. Super intro.

The easy interpretation is that we need a better cobbler. Which begs the question... peach or plum? And furthermore, ice cream: one scoop or two? I say we DFA the apple pan dowdy and promote the tartarian cherry.

This I like. Not to jinx the young man, but I think he's going to adjust quickly. With no Kirilloff, Arraez, and now Buxton to watch, there has to be some reason to tune in. Cruz and Astudillo (yep, you read that right) can't do it by themselves.

I feel for Miguel Sano. The guy is trying to establish that he knows the strike zone, he's laying off the outside pitches, but he has Phil Cuzzi behind him calling balls and strikes. Pitches six inches outside are being called strikes. Better swing, Miguel, because... Phil Cuzzi.

Yes, Garlick got screwed. Back in the day, Joe Mauer got really screwed. The Overall Consistency of Phil Cuzzi sucking is 100%. If there was a God, s/he would not allow Phil Cuzzi to work Twins games.

Love how the lineup is really starting to come together. Just need Kepler to find his stroke. Sano would be icing on the cake, but maybe too much to ask. Maybe it won't matter as much anyway. I'd hate to move Kirilloff off first base. He looks comfortable there.

Brock, does the new site have a BOO button?