Twins Video
2015
Eliminate Leg Kick
Modify Leg Kick, Move Back in Batter Box
Full Leg Kick, Choke Up On Bat
Eliminate Leg Kick, Become Switch Hitter
Kick Both Legs, First Left Then Right
Kick Both Legs, First Right Then Left
2016
A Big Rockette-style Kick While Yelling “WOOOOOOO” like Ric “Nature Boy” Flair
Eliminate Leg Kick, Hold Bat by the Barrel
Copy What Mike Hargrove Used to Do in the Seventies and Eighties and Straight-Up Bore Pitchers Into Walking You
Modify Leg Kick, Wear Rollerblades, Rulebook Unclear on Legality/Exploit Potential Market Inefficiency
Full Leg Kick, Do One Marine-style Push Up Between Pitches
2017
Eliminate Leg Kick, Get So Far Back in the Box That You’re Technically Behind the Umpire
Modify Leg Kick, Take First Pitch No Matter What, Call Time, Do Cannonball Into Child’s Wading Pool That Has Been Placed in On-Deck Circle by Former Twins Great Junior Ortiz, Return Soaking Wet to Batter’s Box
Forgot to Write Down What Worked in Summer/Fall 2017 and All the Game Tapes Are in a Storage Unit in Mahnomen But No One Has the Keycode to Open It and the Owner Disappeared in a Boating Accident That Authorities Describe As “Unsettling with Possible Occult Links”
2018
Full Leg Kick, Keep Hands Back, Tickle Catcher
Modify Leg Kick, Throw Bat At Pitcher, Run to First While Benches Clear
Eliminate Leg Kick, Bring Glove Instead of Bat Into Box, Catch First Pitch, Declare “I Am The Baseball King and You Will Recognize Me As Such,” Award Yourself First Base While Eating a Comically Large Leg of Lamb and Wearing Gilt-Edged Royal Finery
Modify Leg Kick, Start a Small Business, Incorporate in Delaware to Dodge Corporate Income Taxes, Become Independently Wealthy, Start Competing Winter Baseball League in Sun Belt States, Take a Bath When It Flames Out, Lose Rest of Fortune in Series of Bad Investments, Declare Bankruptcy, Appear on VH1 Reality Show Called Dormitory Island Or Something Dumb Like That, Fight for Starting Centerfield Job Next Spring
2019
Just Do Whatever Until It Stops Working.
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