
Twins Video
Remembering Some Guys is a subtle art. An eligible player should have been with the team for a decent time (maybe a year or two) but was otherwise not notable in their playing or persona. While someone like Lew Ford would fit the description through his mostly unremarkable play, he is infamous among Twins fans and is therefore ineligible for this list. With these guidelines set, allow us to Remember Some Guys.
Scott Diamond
You would be forgiven if you simply chose to forget any Twins player between 2011 and 2017 not named Joe Mauer or Brian Dozier because of, well, you already know. Diamond was a prototypical soft-tossing lefty who the Twins took in the rule 5 draft in 2011. Amazingly, Diamond only struck out 10.9% of the batters he faced in his career. Him pitching against Willians Astudillo would be like aiming a pitching machine at a brick wall. Diamond conjured up a decent 2012 season (2.4 fWAR) but ultimately didn’t last much longer in the majors. Still a decent career for a rule 5 draft pick and he always has the fact that his last name is “Diamond”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvJm3oqtnMs
Pedro Florimón
Believe it or not, there was a year in which Pedro Florimón played in 134 games for the Twins. Somehow, that year feels like a decade ago in a season lost to the sands of time. Florimón was blessed with the ability to play great defense at shortstop but was cursed with the inability to hit the baseball in any effective way. His career wRC+ of 59 would have made him the worst qualified hitter in baseball in 2019 as Orlando Arcia just barely edged him out with his meaty 61 wRC+. Florimón went on to play for two more teams after his stint with the Twins which shows that good defense at shortstop can still lead to a respectable MLB career.
Jared Burton
Using relievers from 2011-2016 is almost cheating. Beyond Glen Perkins, it was basically a Guess Who of dudes who topped out at 91 and sat in the high 4’s with their ERA. Burton was one of the rare cromulent relievers at this time. Armed with a great changeup, Burton was actually quite great in 2012 (2.18 ERA), useful in 2013, and then meh in 2014. Afterwards, he bounced around some teams on minor league deals but never stuck for a long time. He was suspended for 50 games in 2016 for a second positive test for a “drug of abuse” and has not pitched in the majors since. Here’s a random video of him striking out the side in 2012:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zER4DO8TARs
Jason Tyner
No player embodied the “piranha” mentality of the mid-2000’s Twins more than Jason Tyner. Tyner impressively has just one homerun in 440 career MLB games. The footage is likely locked away in a secret government facility as it is either haunted or cursed. Looking up Tyner on YouTube nets a few results of news coverage from some baseball camps he helped run but nothing can be found regarding Jason Tyner highlights from MLB. He is a ghost, an enigma, a character actively being scrubbed out of the fabric of MLB with no documentation that he even existed.
Cole De Vries
The pride of Eden Prairie High School marks the end of this humble list. De Vries was sporadically effective over his 102 ⅔ innings with the Twins. His 4.11 ERA in 2012 showed that he had some promise but his next season was disastrous. De Vries unfortunately fell into the same vat of uninspiring pitchers for the Twins at the time that held other names like Samuel Deduno and P.J. Walters. But, he will always have that one start where he went seven strong innings against the Boston Red Sox.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fhAf-rA7Jo
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