Gamethread: Twins @ White Sox, 6/28 @ 7:10pm CT

1. Al Capone – This famous bad guy ruled Chicago. Instead of buying his wife a gift on Valentine’s Day… he was just too busy for that in 1929 as he was busy planning and executing a massacre. When his wife found out exactly why he was too busy… she gave it some thought and decided it was best to just let it go. Capone has been portrayed in many films over the years but never by Al Pacino because he didn’t want to be mistakenly called Cappuccino.

2. Hannibal Lecter – Bad guys are even more dangerous when they are also highly intelligent. Hannibal can listen to Brian Dozier speak and immediately detect that his dialect is pure Mississippi even if he sounds like he is from Arkansas. Hannibal also knows that his pull hitting issues are related to an obsessive compulsive fixation with his hair. If Brian would simply shave his head… the ball will go the other way.

3. Donald Trump – Speaking of hair… I think both parties are run by bad guys… I’m neither Democrat nor Republican… anti-political by choice. Donald Trump says he can control the country but he also said that he could control his hair, so I’m still a little skeptical. According to medical professionals… the stress of being the President will take ten years off your life. This is why Trump has received enough votes to be the Republican nominee.

4. Hillary Clinton – Sometimes the Bad Guy is a Bad Gal. When Hillary secured the Democratic nomination, her Husband Bill brought her Flowers to celebrate. Hillary said… “Get her out of here.”

5. Telemarketers – The only time our landline rings… it’s a telemarketer. Here’s how the last phone call went.

Riverbrian: Hello (10 Seconds of Silence)

Telemarketer: Hello… Can I speak with Mr. Rear (Pause) Brain.

Riverbrian: I’ll assume that I am him

Telemarketer: How are you today… Mr. Rear Brain?

Riverbrian: My eyelashes hurt for some reason

Telemarketer: That’s good to hear… I’m calling on behalf of Citibank. I want to let you know that you’ve been personally selected for our new Triple Iron Ore Card… how does that sound to you?

Riverbrian: Like a baby crying in the middle of a wedding.

Telemarketer: I know… it’s seems too good to be true. Only 45 billion people are eligible for this special offer and to get you signed up… all we need is every single bit of your personal information. Do you have 5 hours so we can go over everything? The quicker we get started… the quicker you can start spending money that you don’t have… anywhere in the world.

Riverbrian: When I was 3 years old… I drank finger nail polish remover. Do you have a box on that form for that?

Telemarketer: We also have a special promotion… If you provide the contact information of 5 of your friends. You will get a free spatula.

Riverbrian: Now you’re talkin… There’s ChiTown... Glunn… North… Do you take Canadians?

Telemarketer: Canadians only count for 75 Percent of a Person.

Riverbrian: Chief is extra American… He’s about 1 and a quarter.

Telemarketer: Ok… one more.

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Lineups:

TWINS

Eduardo Nunez [R) SS

Robbie Grossman (S) LF

Joe Mauer (L) 1B

Brian Dozier [R) 2B

Trevor Plouffe [R) 3B

Max Kepler (L) RF

Byung-ho Park [R) DH

Kurt Suzuki [R) C

Byron Buxton [R) CF

Kyle Gibson [R) P

WHITE SOX

Tim Anderson [R) SS

Adam Eaton (L) RF

Jose Abreu [R) 1B

Melky Cabrera (S) LF

Todd Frazier [R) 3B

Brett Lawrie [R) 2B

Alex Avila (L) C

Avisail Garcia [R) DH

J.B. Shuck (L) CF

Jose Quintana (L) P

Game-time forecast: currently it's cloudy and 69 deg, but by 7pm it should be clear, sunny and 68 deg F, humidity at 46%, winds at 13mph from the N. It's WAY cooler today than it was yesterday.