Lockout Lookup: Carl Pavano

Subject: Carl Pavano

Why You Remember Him: Oh, man. Carl Pavano. Won a title with the Marlins, signed a big free agent deal with the Yankees, then promptly spent the entirety of that deal plagued by injuries (145 innings over four years!). He acquired tabloid nicknames like “American Idle” and “Crash Test Dummy” for his trouble, a helpful reminder that the Twin Cities media is a like a soft, cozy blanket compared to New York’s.

The Twins, who have been playing the reclamation project lottery for starting pitchers as long as I’ve been alive, scooped him up in a trade with Cleveland in 2009. Unlike Sidney Ponson, he thrived in Minnesota. Sporting an exquisite mustache from which he likely acquired the strength to build this late-career surge, Pavano was a horse in 2010, finishing 17-11 with a 3.75 ERA, seven complete games, and two shutouts over 221 innings pitched. Would people wear fake Pavano mustaches to Target Field? Yes. Yes, they would.

Because this is Minnesota and because they’re New York, he also lost two ALDS games to the Yankees in 2009 and 2010. (If you need a reminder, the 2009 loss was the game after Phil Cuzzi ruined Christmas and America and it was the final Twins game in the Metrodome; the 2010 loss was at Target Field to Andy Pettitte.)

Although not quite as effective in 2011 (9-13, 4.30 ERA), he still managed to eat 222 innings. If Dylan Bundy throws 200 innings with that ERA in 2022, we should name a suburb after him. Columbia Heights?

Pavano retired in 2014.

What You Don’t Remember: The PTBNL traded to Cleveland for Pavano? Yohan Pino. Five years later, he would make his first major league start for…the Minnesota Twins.

What You Might Remember: After a rough 2011 outing, Pavano beat the living hell out of a garbage can. If he’d only waited a few more years he could have been a valuable addition to the Houston Astros.

What’s He Up To: He did some TV work for the Marlins upon retirement. Most recently, he put his very fancy home on the market. The status of the mustache is unclear at this time, but Twins Daily hopes for the best.