Local Man Torn on Right Shirsey for Social Function

“It’s usually a cut-and-dried decision,” said the Shakopee native. “But I’ll be honest with you, I’m in a real pickle here.”

For the uninitiated, a shirsey is a t-shirt styled like a baseball jersey, with a team logo in front and a player name and number on the back. Parker estimates he has “40-50, minimum.”

“I would always grab a new one if the Goldy’s in the mall had them in stock, or when I went to the team store at Target Field,” said Parker. “I didn’t think I had that many, but when my fiancée moved in, she noted that I had more shirseys than dishes. She noted that I had more Torii Hunter shirseys than dishes.”

While he’s given thought to downsizing his collection, the 31-year-old paralegal has grown attached to many of them. He gave Twins Daily a tour of some of his favorites.

“This powder blue Gary Gaetti number, this is the one I wore to (Twins vs. Tigers) Game 163,” said Parker. “You can see the mustard stain on the sleeve where I dropped my DomeDog in the 7^th inning. Oh, and this red Joe Nathan beauty, this is the one I wore under my graduation robe.”

Parker paused before the only one that he had on a hanger. He cleared his throat and continued.

“The blue Dougie Baseball (Doug Mientkiewicz) one. I wore this to a Fort Myers Miracle game he was managing. He saw me wearing it, and when the umpire ejected him for arguing balls and strikes, he pointed at me, turned back to the umpire and said ‘This guy gets it, you stupid [expletive] [expletive] piece of [expletive].’ I think about this a lot.”

With the date nearing, Parker admits that he does have a group of finalists.

“Oh, I have my eye on about a half-dozen for sure,” said Parker. “This Rod Carew throwback is in the conversation, but what if someone else is wearing that one? It’s like going to a dinner party in the same dress. And sure, I could wear my Nishioka one, but I don't really want to do irony.

"Let's be honest: It's probably A.J. (Pierzynski) time."

(Link to image license here.)