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  • sat·ire | (/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/) | noun
    the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

    Experts Say Twins Squirrel Following Familiar Path


    RandBalls Stu

    “He definitely saw what worked for the MPR Raccoon,” said Freberg. “Winters are harsh around here, and this is the surest route to a warm place to live and all the garbage and acorns you can imagine.”

    When Target Field’s “rally squirrel” returned to the diamond on Tuesday night, many were amused. For local rodent experts however, it was just another day at the office.

    Image courtesy of © Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

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    “I saw social media blow up again last night,” said Dr. Katie Freberg, Associate Professor of Small/Medium Animal Studies at Bethel University. “I wasn’t surprised. No one should be.”

    Freberg says the squirrel, who reps say prefers to go by Gabriel Thee Squirrel or GTS, is following the example of the MPR Raccoon, the disgusting trash panda who scaled a St. Paul building by the public radio headquarters and now lives a life of opulence and leisure.

    “(Gabriel) definitely saw what worked for the MPR Raccoon”, said Freberg. “Winters are harsh around here, and this is the surest route to a warm place to live and all the garbage and acorns you can imagine.”

    The raccoon, most recently in the news for getting in a fight with internet personality Logan Paul during a DJ set at a Lollapalooza after party, also serves as a cautionary tale.

    “The MPR Raccoon has not necessarily adjusted to the spotlight very well,” said Connor Padlewski, media consultant for Stabler Partners, a Minneapolis public relations firm. “The wild parties, the rumors of multiple rehab stays, the failed marriage to Joan Collins—he’s clearly had issues with his new status as an in-demand star.”

    For his part, Gabriel says that he is happy to let his work for speak for itself. In a statement released to local CBS affiliate WCCO, the squirrel, speaking in the third person throughout, said that “Gabriel is going to do what’s best for Gabriel. He’s got his own thing right now, and if the haters are going to hate, let ‘em. Peace.”

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