Bally Sports North Runners-Up Revealed

Sinclair Broadcasting, owner of the Fox Sports regional networks, revealed Wednesday that Minnesota Twins games would be carried on Bally Sports North this year. The gaming and casino company will be lending its name to all the former Fox networks.

While we still don't know if any of these games will be available to non-cable households, we do have the names of the failed suitors for the sponsorship, plus analysis from a Sinclair executive close to the negotiations. Please credit Twins Daily if you choose to share these:

• MyPillow Sports North. ("The owner didn't want to actually carry any games, he just wanted to run a livestream of him yelling about Georgia voting machines. Weird dude.")
  
• KARE11 Sports in the Backyard. ("They wanted to do all the pre and post-game shows from their backyard weather studio. We would have done that, but they also wanted a half-hour every week where KARE meteorologist Belinda Jensen would fight one of our announcers with her bare hands. We gave it a whirl and it became clear this wasn't a culture fit. The Bally's Corporation would also like to take this time to wish a speedy recovery to Tim Laudner as he recovers from what doctors call a 'classic Western Wisconsin beatdown.'")
  
• Joe Mauer's Sports Machine. ("Obviously Joe would have been a great partner for any Minnesota sports network. But when he found out these games would be carried on cable he had to back out. Apparently his mom told him cable TV is where they show boobs, butts, and swears, and he didn't want her to get all sore.")
  
• Minnesota Public Television Presents: Sports. ("Public television is not known for live sports coverage, but this seemed like a really intriguing partnership. Unfortunately the BBC just released all seven seasons of The Vicar's Regret, a British drama about 18th century manners and society. Between that and pledge drives we would have been forced to air all our games after Arthur but before Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood.")
  
• Minnesota Sports With Chip and Joanna Gaines. ("They wanted to plaster Target Field with shiplap and farmhouse sinks. It was a non-starter. And Chip would not shut up.")