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  • sat·ire | (/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/) | noun
    the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

    An Open Letter from the 1974 Minnesota Twins

    RandBalls Stu

    By RandBalls Stu

    “Please. Let us have this.”

    Image courtesy of J. Petty/Creative Commons

    Twins Video

    Hello current Minnesota Twins. We, the 1974 Minnesota Twins, want to congratulate you on your hot start to this abbreviated season. It shows a great deal of resilience and mental toughness to not only take the field, but to have one of the best records in the league.

    That said, you are also on track to shatter our record for worst home attendance in a non-strike Minnesota Twins season. Yes, there’s an asterisk because of all the health cautions, but someday in the future a kid is going to open a record book or use their Google phones and see 2020 as the rock bottom for paid attendance.

    It’s not fair.

    We had a good team in 1974. We had three Hall of Famers—Rod Carew, Harmon Killebrew, and Bert Blyleven. We had Tony Oliva. We finished above .500! Tickets were cheap and concessions were cheaper. And NOBODY SHOWED UP.

    660,000 people made their way to Bloomington. Dead last in the league. 12th out of 12. AGAIN: WE HAD ROD CAREW.

    Maybe people were afraid they’d miss something during the Watergate hearings. Maybe they were afraid a random Minnesota Viking would throw up on them at the Steak ‘n Ale on 494. Maybe they couldn’t believe it was 1974 and Harmon Killebrew was still playing baseball. Maybe they just hated Calvin. Maybe there was an Eagles concert at the Met Center and everyone was getting blitzed in the parking lot. It was 46 years ago, it’s hard to pinpoint an exact reason.

    But the thing is, Met Stadium was empty. Not even the late-‘90s Twins bottomed out like that. And they have Pelting Chuck Knoblauch With Various Objects Night to hang onto. We’ve got nothing but those 660,000 hearty souls who would show up to watch Tom Burgmeier and Bill Hands. (Yeah, that’s right. We had a player named Bill Hands. What a ridiculous name! You’d know that if you’d have been there, but you weren’t.)

    Our request: Don’t even note this year’s attendance. Pretend it didn’t happen. Please. Let us have this.

    Warmest personal regards,

    The 1974 Minnesota Twins

    Image license here.

    Steve "Stu" Neuman. Local copywriter, husband, father of two, inventor of the atomic bomb.
    Follow RandBalls Stu on Twitter: RandBallsStu

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    Tom Froemming

    Tom Froemming 9,895

  • Twins Daily Staff

    • Posted

     

    8,000 per game on average! How many games has Target Field had paid attendance that low? I'm guessing 0.

    I believe you are correct. Surprisingly, it looks like the lowest attended game at Target Field came last April 17, a Wednesday evening game against the Blue Jays, who usually draw nicely. The crowd was 11,454. It was 44 degrees and rainy.

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    Otto von Ballpark

    Otto von Ballpark 20,320

  • Community Leader

    • Posted

    I don't mean to offend the signatories, but why are they so concerned about 2020 when they've already dismissed strike years? One of their grandkids should show them how anyone using a Google phone the past 38 years has seen 1981 as rock-bottom for Twins attendance -- not only total attendance, but also lower per-game attendance than 1974. And with no visible asterisk at Baseball-Reference.

     

    And actually, Baseball Reference is listing 2020 attendance so far as blank, not zero, so anyone using a Google phone right now to sort attendance won't see it as worse than 1974 or 1981 either:

    https://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/MIN/attend.shtml#franchise_years::7

     

    I suppose that could change if they start allowing a small number of fans into games in 2020...

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    jkcarew

    jkcarew 3,876

  • Verified Member

    • Posted

    We’re giving 1974 way too much credit here. The Twins were last in the AL in attendance in 1975 and 1976 as well. In 1977 when Carew flirted with .400 and the club challenged for the postseason, attendance was 11th (of) 14. That was the Zenith until Kirby Puckett showed up. A generation of Minnesota sports fans that had grown up on Harmon Killebrew, Tony Oliva and winning, turned their attention to the Vikings.

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