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  • sat·ire | (/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/) | noun
    the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

    15 Things More Pleasant than this Twins/Dodgers Series


    renabanena

    ....at least it wasn't a perfect game... 

    Image courtesy of David Berding-USA TODAY Sports

    Twins Video

    1. THE Gary Sánchez bat flip 
    1. When you order buffalo wings with ranch but accidentally get blue cheese instead 
    2. Seeing a beardless Josh Donaldson for the first time
    1. Going to the dentist, which is a wholly underrated experience. 
    2. Every Eddie Rosario error ever made
    3. Gotti
    4. The week after the Will Smith slap, when no one talked about everything except for the Will Smith slap
    5. Whatever this was
    1. Losing on Opening Day
    1. Going to the game on Dollar Dog Night only to realize Dollar Dog Night is tomorrow
    2. Leaving your Eddie Rosario bobblehead at the office before the pandemic only to have it stolen 
    3. *Sigh*
    1. Accidentally doing weird things with your mouth in public because you forgot that you’re not wearing a mask 
    2. The ACT’s AND the SAT’s 
    3. Somehow this too, because time heals all wounds

     

     

     

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    23 minutes ago, USAFChief said:

    On my list:

    -Root canal sans novocaine

    -any NBA game

    -walking barefoot through the Sonoran Desert in July, blindfolded

    -hanging decor on the walls for Mrs Chief

    -doing my tax returns

    -repainting the already repainted guest bathroom yet again

     

    Times are desperate when “any NBA team” hits the list

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    2 hours ago, wsnydes said:

    d add:

    Stubbing my toe

    Smashing my finger with a hammer

    Nails on a chalkboard

    Running out of Scotch

    And:

    Checking in at airport for int'l flight only to discover passport was forgotten 2 hrs away at home.

    Discovering too late that what you thought was Colgate toothpaste was actually the wife's toenail antifungal cream.

    Taking a 2AM swig of milk from the fridge only to find out it was the old buttermilk instead.

    Being forced to clean up dried buttermilk spray off kitchen walls the next day by a certain person with no sympathy or humor.

    Colonoscopy without sedation, which is actually much more pleasant than swigging putrid buttermilk.

     

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    Repainting the back deck every spring.

    Repainting the same deck every fall.

    Putting the paint dealer's kid through college.

    Joyfully watching the snow melt from the grassy yard, only having to watch where you step due to all the turds the deer deposited all winter long while chewing off your arborvitaes, maple saplings and Honeycrisp apple trees.

    Taking the snow plow off the tractor in late March, putting it back on the tractor in April, after spending two days trying to remember where you put the pins necessary to mount the blade so you wouldn't lose them, by which time the April snow has melted.

    Watching your wife shake her head while you look for the missing pins and telling you the snow will be melted before you get the damn plow back on the tractor.

    An empty bottle of Jameson.

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