Twins Acquire Donovan

[RandBalls Stu]

Wacky Sitcom Mix-Up Lands Leitch, 76, in Fort Myers.

Image courtesy of Public Domain

The Minnesota Twins thought they were signing veteran infielder Donovan Solano to a one-year deal. Instead, they signed a rock-and-roll legend.

“We’re pleased to announce the unexpected signing of Donovan,” said Twins PR flack Dustin Morse. “We look forward to seeing how he can contribute to the team this spring. We’ll be making no further comment.”

Team sources who requested anonymity to speak freely, said a paperwork mishap at the league office sent Solano, 35, to the Rio Grande Rockin’ Ribs-o-Rama in El Paso, Texas. Despite having no identifiable musical talent, he’s opening for Smash Mouth on the Dairy Queen Grill ‘n Chill Stage.

“He played the recorder in grade school,” said Rich Marsden, Solano’s agent. “He will tear through ‘Hot Cross Buns’ and leave the crowd wanting more.”

Meanwhile, the oldest Twin since Jesse Orosco is headed to his first spring training.

“I’m terribly confused,” said Leitch.

The 76-year-old Scottish folk singer, known for songs like “Mellow Yellow” and “Season of the Witch,” is expected to report to Twins camp on Friday.

Some team officials are embracing the opportunity.

“Phish played ‘Hurdy Gurdy Man’ at The Great Went, brother,” said Minnesota Twins manager Rocco Baldelli. “Everyone was just there, being, as one. Can’t wait to see what he brings to the clubhouse.

“Trey was fire that night,” added Baldelli.

Still, with his 77th birthday on the horizon, most are skeptical that Leitch can contribute to the 2023 squad.

“He’s incredibly old,” said a source close to the front office. “He’s 40 years older than everyone else. He can’t hit for power or average. He has no natural position. He’s never played baseball. And those lyrics are straight nonsense. No one is mad about saffron. No one. Trash spice.”

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[Riverbrian]

42 minutes ago, RandBalls Stu said:

the Rio Grande Rockin’ Ribs-o-Rama in El Paso, Texas. Despite having no identifiable musical talent, he’s opening for Smash Mouth on the Dairy Queen Grill ‘n Chill Stage.

The El Paso Ribs are not necessary to sell me on this package. 

The pure synergy of listening to Sunshine Superman and Walkin' on the Sun in a place that is actually 9 inches from the sun sells itself. 

Back to the El Paso Ribs... I am wondering... Do they make the Guacamole in front of you before the serving of the Ribs? Picante sauce on the Ribs? 

 

 

[Hrbeks Divot]

Keep ‘em comin, Stu. Brilliant. Still can’t get over the fact that disclaimer has to be put at the top of your articles now. 😂

[chinmusic]

Awesome!

Great to see this underrated superstar finally getting his due.

Wonder what his walk up music will be.😉

[davidborton]

It's not satire. The Twins will use Donovan over the PA system to signal and play during Baldelli's march to the mound to pull Sonny Gray in the 5th, despite the fact that a no-hitter is in progress. 

Asked about his early hook after the game, Baldelli was quoted as saying, "It was the 3rd time thru the order and I didn't want the White Sox to ruin the no-hitter he had going. Stats speak louder than fans."
 

 

[Richie the Rally Goat]

10 minutes ago, chinmusic said:

Awesome!

Great to see this underrated superstar finally getting his due.

Wonder what his walk up music will be.😉

So many choices! My guess is Bert’s Blues, for…. reasons…..

[USAFChief]

Groovy, man. Like, far out.

[Dave The Dastardly]

My doc calls me mellow yellow... not sure why but I hope it will pass.

[Otaknam]

They call him mellow yellow! What’s next? Tiny Tim tip toeing to first base. 

[DJL44]

Was hoping for more Sunshine Superman in the article.

Husker Du Sunshine Superman - YouTube

[mikelink45]

This move was made so that the twins could sell more t-shirts. All the tie-dyed shirts will be a boon to their bottom line. 

[Craig Arko]

 

[RetractableProof]

One hit wonder

[DJL44]

29 minutes ago, RetractableProof said:

One hit wonder

Donovan has hits like Luis Arraez

[twinfan]

Maybe just what we need..... a Season Of The Witch.

[ashbury]

If nothing else, RandBalls Stu thoroughly understands the age demographic he is writing for.

[LA VIkes Fan]

Wow, we signed the Hurdy Gurdy man?! Will he come singing songs of love? We could use those. Seriously  though, I understand he hits lefties well and still can pick it at 3B even though his base stealing days are probably behind him and his power numbers are down. I think if we can get .260/.325/375 from him off the bench it's a good signing.

Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy gurdy, he sang...

[LA VIkes Fan]

By the way, one of your better efforts Randball  Stu.... Well done. But Saffron a trash spice? I think not. While I'm not Mad about Saffron, I do like it.... 

[VeryWellThen]

As for where Donovan will play:

 

Sunshine Super Utility Man

 

Sunshine came softly to the Twins Camp today.

César Tovar ain’t got nothin’ on me.

Any spot on the diamond, baby, that I can find

Cause I’ve made my mind up I’m going to play all nine.

[ashbury]

11 minutes ago, LA VIkes Fan said:

By the way, one of your better efforts Randball  Stu.... Well done. But Saffron a trash spice? I think not. While I'm not Mad about Saffron, I do like it.... 

Quite rightly.

[joefish]

Finally! no secret decoder ring needed!

A baseball article that wasn't loaded with Statcast numbers. I understand words. Thank you.

[ToddlerHarmon]

"Everyone was just there, being, as one. Can’t wait to see what he brings to the clubhouse."

I like how you worked in a real post-game Baldelli quote.

[USAFChief]

1 hour ago, VeryWellThen said:

As for where Donovan will play:

 

Sunshine Super Utility Man

 

Sunshine came softly to the Twins Camp today.

César Tovar ain’t got nothin’ on me.

Any spot on the diamond, baby, that I can find

Cause I’ve made my mind up I’m going to play all nine.

Winner.

[wsnydes]

This explains my confusion.  I needed to go to my record collection, not my baseball card collection!

[DJL44]

3 hours ago, LA VIkes Fan said:

Wow, we signed the Hurdy Gurdy man?!

 

[rwilfong86]

Now they have someone who can catch the wind.

[ashbury]

59 minutes ago, DJL44 said:

 

I got a contact high just from watching that video, you jerk.

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

8 hours ago, DJL44 said:

Donovan has hits like Luis Arraez

but not mad hits like he was Rod Carew..

[Wizard11]

Just mo Cheap Pohlads man

[jkcarew]

Donny Batty.