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Hot Damn! Rub that Crystal Ball!


Bark's Lounge

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Of course, on this website, this will be the time of year when all channels will be filled with Twin's Off Season predictions, philosophy, and hopes. Let this thread be the break room away from this talk and let's have some fun with it. The topic is future Twins predictions 2013-2019. What do you foresee happening in the future 7 seasons of the Minnesota Twins. This MoFo is wide open - so have some fun with it!

 

My prediction is this: In 2016 Aaron Hicks will become the first 30HR/30SB player in the history of the MN Twins.

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The Vikings will have a perfect regular season in 2016. Roll thru the playoffs with ease and matchup against an injury depleted Buffalo Bills who are down to a fourth string QB who was signed as insurance the last week of the season and didn't have enough time to know the play book yet.

 

On the Saturday before Super Sunday... The Core of the sun collapses in the blink of an eye and explodes into a supernova. The commissioner with his last breath cancels the Superbowl. Drew Butera survives.

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In 2017, Woody Harrelson and a group of investors purchase the Twins from the Pohlads. At the time of purchase the reigning manager is Jim Riggleman. He is quickly fired and replaced by Kevin Costner as field manager - Ted Danson, Wesley Snipes, Tim Robbins, John Goodman, John Cusack, and Tom Selleck fill out the coaching staff respectively. Bark's Lounge is one of the investors and I take care of all of them... because when they met... it was Moider!

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Your 2015 American League Champion Minnesota Twins:

 

1B/C/DH Joe Mauer (80/40/20 Games)

2B/CF Eddie Rosario

3B/1B/DH Miguel Sano

SS Daniel Santana

C Jarrod Saltalamachia

LF Max Kepler

CF Aaron Hicks

RF Oswaldo Arcia

DH/Super UT Trevor Plouffe

OF Ben Revere

C/OF Chris Herrmann

1B/OF/DH Chris Parmelee

UI Brian Dozier

 

PITCHERS

SP Josh Johnson (FA signing 2014)

SP Scott Baker (Last option year 2013 contract)

SP Kyle Gibson

SP Scott Diamond

SP JO Barrios

 

Bullpen

CL Glen Perkins

RP JT Chargois

RP Mason Melotakis

RP Luke Bard

RP Michael Tonkin

RP Jered Burton

RP Sean Manaea (2013 first round pick long relief/fill-in starter takes over for Baker in 2016)

 

$84-85M payroll

 

Manager of the Year: Paul Molitor

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In 2013 Justin Morneau wins the American League MVP as the Twins win the AL Central, only to be eliminated in a 1 game playoff by the Toronto Blue Jays.

 

winning the central and losing a 1 game playoff... pretty impressive since only wildcard teams play in the playoff.

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In 2014 I will be selected from amongsts Twins bloggers to become the official twitterer of the Twins. Eventually I accidently post my own tweets on the Twins twitter feed and am quickly fired. The Twins go on to win the WS in 2018, and I return to the blog-o-sphere and live a happy life drinking cheap beer.

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In 2017' date=' Woody Harrelson and a group of investors purchase the Twins from the Pohlads. At the time of purchase the reigning manager is Jim Riggleman. He is quickly fired and replaced by Kevin Costner as field manager - Ted Danson, Wesley Snipes, Tim Robbins, John Goodman, John Cusack, and Tom Selleck fill out the coaching staff respectively. Bark's Lounge is one of the investors and I take care of all of them... because when they met... it was Moider![/quote']

 

Assuming the above is fiction. Ron Gardenhire retires as Twins Manager after the 2017 season. At his retirement press conference, his only statement is this: "I am 60 years old and I look like I am 80 - I need some time to spend with my grand kids and save the remainder of my strength to focus on this upcoming Senior League Bowling season." After this statement, Terry Ryan names Drew Butera as his successor. Rick Anderson is retained as Drew's Pitching Coach.

 

On a another note: Ron Gardenhire is offered and accepts the acting role of "Ben Luckett" in the remake of the movie "Cocoon". Wilford Brimley was the actor who portrayed "Ben Luckett" in the original movie.

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