The Twins are coming! The Twins are coming!

 

 

I was sitting at the computer one afternoon, hammering away at my baseball novel (doesn’t everybody have a baseball novel they’re writing - you know, for the last decade or so?) when my blonde sister-in-law called. “When did we get married?” she demanded in frustration. “I got nothing.”

 

Okay, before you start thinking I’m involved in some sort of kinky relationship, let me explain. My wife and I were married the same year my sister-in-law and her husband tied the knot. And my sister-in-law was at work trying to fill out some family health insurance form and drew a blank when the form asked for the year of their marriage.

 

So why am I telling you this? Because I’m supposed to be writing some witty yet informative game thread for today’s clash of titans between the Red Sox and the Twins.

 

And I got nothing.

 

You could say I’m witless and not be too far off the mark.

 

So in the absence of clever word play, let’s take a peek at some dull, dry data. (Hey! unintentional alliteration! Maybe I’m warming up!)

 

If we group each team’s hitters according to qualifying At-Bats we can isolate the nine most-likely-to-play batters for each team. For the Twins, the top three batters with the highest OPS in that group are Garver (1.058), Polanco (.952) and Kepler (.917).

 

For Boston we have Martinez (.936), Bogaerts (.927) and Devers (.863).

 

Gotta give the edge to the Twins.

 

Then if we sort the pitching staffs by Innings Pitched, ignoring the starters because we won’t see all of them in this one series, and compare WHIP for the most likely relievers we get Harper with a 1.0 WHIP and Rogers and Parker both at 1.20 for the Twins.

 

Doing the same for the BoSox we get Workman at a 0.98 WHIP, Brasier at 1.08 and Barnes with 1.16.

 

Gotta give the edge to the BoSox bulls.

 

But if we look at the combined Win-Loss record for the top three relievers we find the top Red Sox relievers with a 10-5 W/L and the top Twins bulls at 4-3. What does that mean? I don’t know. Maybe it means the Boston starting pitchers have been struggling to put away their opponents, or maybe the Boston hitters put on a lot of late inning rallies while the Twins relievers just keep games from getting away.

 

My call for the series? The Twins jump out to early leads, the Red Sox put on late inning rallies when the Twins go to the bullpen and the question becomes whether or not the Twins can hold the lead, every game turns into a nail-biter and the team with the best defense wins.

 

Okay, I’ve covered my fanny. Time to get back to the novel… wait a minute, my phone’s ringing. It’s my blonde sister-in-law. Wants to know which motel we’re going to meet at this coming weekend…

 

Throwing bullets tonite:

 

Twins:   “Bad Man” Jose Berrios    8-2    ERA   3.01     84 K 

BoSox:   Rick “Porkchop” Porcello    4-6    ERA   4.69     66 K

 

 

 

 

The game is actually in Minnesota.

The game is actually in Minnesota.

No wonder the tickets I bought from that scalper on Lansdowne Street were so inexpensive!

 

The game is actually in Minnesota.

Whoops!  I'd better call my blonde sister-in-law. We could be meeting in the wrong city...

Thanks, Dave! 

 

Good job!

 

Whoops!  I'd better call my blonde sister-in-law. We could be meeting in the wrong city...

And did you schedule the meeting for February 30th?

I should be taking notes, eh.

 

"Sometimes nothing can be a pretty cool hand."

 

"I got plenty o' nothing, and nothing's plenty for me."

Wait... does that mean i could perhaps watch the game on local cable, say at a drinking establishment?

 

Not used to this possibility...

The Twins are coming! The Twins are coming!

 

Boston Massacre.jpg

 

...

I forget the original...

 

Between the old north catcher's knees?

 

A signal by lantern nail polish?

 

One if by heater, two if by breaker?

1. Max Kepler CF
2. Jorge Polanco SS
3. Nelson Cruz DH
4. Eddie Rosario LF
5. C.J. Cron 1B
6. Marwin Gonzalez RF
7. Miguel Sano 3B
8. Jason Castro C
9. Jonathan Schoop 2B

Starting Pitcher : Jose Berrios

and them:

 

mookie betts rf

andrew benintendi lf

jd martinez dh

rafael devers 3b

xander bogaerts ss

brock holt 2b

michael chavis 1b

jackey bradley jr cf

sandy leon c

 

(sans shift or caps lock. mostly lazy apart from a temporary failure to cut and paste, and something about playing straight up (no shift) and maybe capital letters are earned... but yeah. mostly just lazy typing on a phone keypad)

GIven that tonight's game is with the Bostonians, I offer this ditty from Dr. Frasier Crane as the theme song for tonight's offensive output...

 

 

Edited June 17, 20197 yr by IndianaTwin

I felt like we've beat up on Porcello many times before... we got this! We beat up on the Red Sox last year (we had a 4-2 record if I remember right), so let's continue the beatdown! I feel like our chances of winning are always the highest with Berrios on the mound, so let's get the W today and try to take the series after that.

I felt like we've beat up on Porcello many times before... we got this! We beat up on the Red Sox last year (we had a 4-2 record if I remember right), so let's continue the beatdown! I feel like our chances of winning are always the highest with Berrios on the mound, so let's get the W today and try to take the series after that.

At Target Field, Porcello is 7-3 with a sub 3 ERA.

 

The Twins are coming! The Twins are coming!

 

Boston Massacre.jpg

 

I was sitting at the computer one afternoon, hammering away at my baseball novel (doesn’t everybody have a baseball novel they’re writing - you know, for the last decade or so?) when my blonde sister-in-law called. “When did we get married?” she demanded in frustration. “I got nothing.”

 

Okay, before you start thinking I’m involved in some sort of kinky relationship, let me explain. My wife and I were married the same year my sister-in-law and her husband tied the knot. And my sister-in-law was at work trying to fill out some family health insurance form and drew a blank when the form asked for the year of their marriage.

 

So why am I telling you this? Because I’m supposed to be writing some witty yet informative game thread for today’s clash of titans between the Red Sox and the Twins.

 

And I got nothing.

 

You could say I’m witless and not be too far off the mark.

 

So in the absence of clever word play, let’s take a peek at some dull, dry data. (Hey! unintentional alliteration! Maybe I’m warming up!)

 

If we group each team’s hitters according to qualifying At-Bats we can isolate the nine most-likely-to-play batters for each team. For the Twins, the top three batters with the highest OPS in that group are Garver (1.058), Polanco (.952) and Kepler (.917).

 

For Boston we have Martinez (.936), Bogaerts (.927) and Devers (.863).

 

Gotta give the edge to the Twins.

 

Then if we sort the pitching staffs by Innings Pitched, ignoring the starters because we won’t see all of them in this one series, and compare WHIP for the most likely relievers we get Harper with a 1.0 WHIP and Rogers and Parker both at 1.20 for the Twins.

 

Doing the same for the BoSox we get Workman at a 0.98 WHIP, Brasier at 1.08 and Barnes with 1.16.

 

Gotta give the edge to the BoSox bulls.

 

But if we look at the combined Win-Loss record for the top three relievers we find the top Red Sox relievers with a 10-5 W/L and the top Twins bulls at 4-3. What does that mean? I don’t know. Maybe it means the Boston starting pitchers have been struggling to put away their opponents, or maybe the Boston hitters put on a lot of late inning rallies while the Twins relievers just keep games from getting away.

 

My call for the series? The Twins jump out to early leads, the Red Sox put on late inning rallies when the Twins go to the bullpen and the question becomes whether or not the Twins can hold the lead, every game turns into a nail-biter and the team with the best defense wins.

 

Okay, I’ve covered my fanny. Time to get back to the novel… wait a minute, my phone’s ringing. It’s my blonde sister-in-law. Wants to know which motel we’re going to meet at this coming weekend…

 

Throwing bullets tonite:

 

Twins:   “Bad Man” Jose Berrios    8-2    ERA   3.01     84 K 

BoSox:   Rick “Porkchop” Porcello    4-6    ERA   4.69     66 K

Awesome intro!  Very clever.

 

Just a friendly FYI...In-laws always cause trouble...Everyone knows that.

At Target Field, Porcello is 7-3 with a sub 3 ERA.

 

Twins are throwing just a tad bit better offense at him this year though.

Of the current Twins Castro (4-9 with a homer), Gonzales (3-7) and Schoop (7-22) have had some success against Porcello. The rest not so much. This is going to be a fun tough matchup!

Edited June 17, 20197 yr by Original Whizzinator

 

1. Max Kepler CF
2. Jorge Polanco SS
3. Nelson Cruz DH
4. Eddie Rosario LF
5. C.J. Cron 1B
6. Marwin Gonzalez RF
7. Miguel Sano 3B
8. Jason Castro C
9. Jonathan Schoop 2B

Starting Pitcher : Jose Berrios

Still no Buck.... : (

If I didn't know who Mookie Betts was and he walked into a room... All 5-9 180 pounds of him. And he said... I'm a Major League Baseball Player... I think I'd go "Sure you are... Me To". 

Nice job Marwin.

This isn't how I hoped today's game was going to start.

Twins definitely need a #2 starter and Bumgarner would be perfect

 

This isn't how I hoped today's game was going to start.

 

I know what you mean. I was hoping to be done with supper before the game. 

Nice to see Marwin save a run!!! Hopefully Berrios pitches better the rest of the game!

 

Nice to see Marwin save a run!!! Hopefully Berrios pitches better the rest of the game!

 

Marwin is becoming my favorite Twin. 

Twins definitely need a #2 starter and Bumgarner would be perfect

We could use a #1 starter as well. I'd be happy with Scherzer!!!

Twins definitely need a #2 starter and Bumgarner would be perfect

My feeling is the Twins have a playoff caliber #2 starter. I’m watching him right now.

Okay, I’ve covered my fanny. Time to get back to the novel… wait a minute, my phone’s ringing. It’s my blonde sister-in-law. Wants to know which motel we’re going to meet at this coming weekend…

 

how dastardly!

Much better inning!!! Only 9 pitches!!!

I've seen Porcello pitch maybe 5,627 times now. 

 

Every time I watch him... He just looks hittable. Every single time I watch him. 

 

It's also shocking that he's only 30 since it seems like he has been pitching for 30 years.