Welcome to Sabado Espectacular!

 

The best knock-down, drag-out fight west of the Mississippi!* In the southern corner, we have the Texas Rangers, and in the northern corner, your Minnesota Twins!

 

 

Pictured: 70charger and Mrs. 70charger waiting for show to begin.

 

*Offer only valid within a three-mile radius of the Mississippi.

 

 

The backstory

 

The Rangers and Twins are back at it for their third game this series. It isn’t a rubber match, because it’s a four game series. Also, I recently learned that “rubber match” is a term that comes from cricket, and cricket is truly quite stupid, so it’s relieving in a way.

 

The good news from last night is that the Twins won, evening the series at one apiece. The bad news is that there is now a team with more complete games than Ervin Santana. Yes, Bartolo Colon pitched a big, sexy, complete game last night to pick up a win in a Twins uniform, and his ridiculous 21st win over the Texas Rangers.

 

Brian Dozier also hit two home runs last night. Is he going to go on one of his tears? I hope so.

 

 

Pictured: How Brian Dozier treated Martin Perez last night.

 

 

The warriors

 

Okay, let’s get to the action! Who’s got top billing? Who’s on the undercard? Let’s introduce the warriors.

 

As in any good match, we’ve got tecnicos and we’ve got rudos (known north of the Rio Grande as faces and heels). Good and evil. Heaven and hell. Twins and Yankees. 

 

• Miguel Sano. Rudo. Big, powerful, independent. His nickname growing up was Bocaton, or Bigmouth. Total rudo. This guy’s definitely at the top of the card. He’s new on the scene, and the crowds love him. 


  
  Ring name: El Gato Grande

  Nemesis: Señor Strikeout

  Finishing Move: The Third-Decker
   
• Brian Dozier. Tecnico. Not the biggest, nor the strongest, but when he’s on he’s got all the power you need. One drawback is that he doesn’t play well with tag-teams. He prefers to do his work solo.


  
  Ring name: Huracan del Sur

  Nemesis: El Corredor de Bases

  Finishing Move: The Dead Pull
   
• Byron Buxton. Tecnico. Young and fast. He may not outmuscle you, but he’ll outrun you. He’s got a ways to go yet before he takes down the big boys, but he’s shown he belongs, at least on the undercard.


  
  Ring name: El Rayo

  Nemesis: La Curva

  Finishing Move: The Hustle Triple
   
• Kyle Gibson. Rudo. Brought up as a tecnico, Gibson has seen the crowd turn on him starting last year. He maintains a small but loyal fan base, though most agree that he’s turned heel. 


  
  Ring name: Lanzador Quinto

  Nemesis: El Contacto

  Finishing Move: The Quick Hook

   
• Joe Mauer. What is Joe Mauer? Is he a tecnico? He certainly was for near a decade. Is he a rudo? He does seem to have lost the crowd. He’s still good at what he does, but his lack of dominance post-injury has made him the man the crowd most loves to hate. Is he dispositionally capable of being a rudo? What on earth is he? 


  
  Ring name: El Gran Silencio

  Nemesis: El Monstruo Jonron

  Finishing Move: The Ball Four

I could keep going, but I’d like to hear what you all have to say. Any great nicknames I missed? Any nemeses? What would Bartolo Colon’s finishing move be?

 

 

Let the games begin.

Hahaha ... awesome start!

Knocked the wind right outta me.

"Sabado Espectacular"

 

Two thumbs up! Way up!!

Nice.

 

Joe Mauer is a gringo, clearly.

Bartolo Colon stars as Ronda de Collado.

 

Nice.

Joe Mauer is a gringo, clearly.

Blanco Gringo.

Offer only good in a 3 mile radius of the Mississippi...

 

That is the river proper, i assume? People off of the Missouri or Ohio are just out of luck.

 

Big wheel, keep on turning!

 

Oh, rubber is also a Bridge term, i believe.

TD game threads are such an educational experience.

Nice opener. "Ball Four" for Mauer is a little hurtful for a finishing move. How about Frozen Rope?

 

Colón, Rudo

Nickname: Big Sexy, Duh

Nemesis: Clubhouse Buffet

Finishing move: The Belly Jiggle

 

What are the odds on Kyle Gibson adding a complete game to make it 3 of 4?

 

 Also, I recently learned that “rubber match” is a term that comes from cricket, 

And here I always thought the term came from bridge. In bridge the first team to win two games wins the rubber, analogous to a series in baseball or a match in tennis. So I asked the google and the google told me that the term dates back to lawn bowling in 16th century England. I'm glad I looked it up because my brain enjoys storing information like this that has little to no value.

Not pertinent to this game (but since this is a game thread anything is pertinent), my son told me today that the Milwaukee Brewers are the only team against which Ervin Santana has not recorded a win. He also told me that the Arizona Diamondbacks are the only team against which Bartolo Colon has not recorded a win. Santana is scheduled to start on Monday against the Brewers, and if Colon pitches every fifth game he'd be scheduled to start on Aug. 20 against the Diamondbacks.

Not pertinent to this game (but since this is a game thread anything is pertinent), my son told me today that the Milwaukee Brewers are the only team against which Ervin Santana has not recorded a win. He also told me that the Arizona Diamondbacks are the only team against which Bartolo Colon has not recorded a win. Santana is scheduled to start on Monday against the Brewers, and if Colon pitches every fifth game he'd be scheduled to start on Aug. 20 against the Diamondbacks.

I'm going to just go ahead and mark a little W next to those games in my August Twins day planner.

 

What are the odds on Kyle Gibson adding a complete game to make it 3 of 4?

 

 

Have you gone against your screen name at *checks watch* this early hour?

Have you gone against your screen name at *checks watch* this early hour?

So you're saying there's a chance?

I have no words........wtf?

 

 

I have no words........wtf?

 

 

Thank you for posting that. I really didn't want to.

 

Adrianza at first? Sano is benched? GIMENEZ at cleanup!?

 

I have no words........wtf?

 

I have words...

 

Thank you for posting that. I really didn't want to.

 

Adrianza at first? Sano is benched? GIMENEZ at cleanup!?

 

Any update on Sano's hand from last night (other than he's not in the lineup)?

 

Any update on Sano's hand from last night (other than he's not in the lineup)?

I read somewhere, can't remember where. Twitter maybe, that he said it was worse this morning. He could close his fist last night, wasn't able to this morning.

I don't care what injuries you have, batting Chris Giminez cleanup is embarrassing and someone has failed. LOL. But go get a win.

 

because my brain enjoys storing information like this that has little to no value.

As your sister, I can attest to that ... oh boy, can I ever.

I read somewhere, can't remember where. Twitter maybe, that he said it was worse this morning. He could close his fist last night, wasn't able to this morning.

I'm also unable to fully close my hand at that lineup

 

http://www.viraltechtricks.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/enable-middle-finger-emoji.png

Fire Molitor right now. Even Gardy had enough shame never to bat Redmond clean-up

 

Not pertinent to this game (but since this is a game thread anything is pertinent), my son told me today that the Milwaukee Brewers are the only team against which Ervin Santana has not recorded a win. He also told me that the Arizona Diamondbacks are the only team against which Bartolo Colon has not recorded a win. Santana is scheduled to start on Monday against the Brewers, and if Colon pitches every fifth game he'd be scheduled to start on Aug. 20 against the Diamondbacks.

Good for your son for telling you something your brain hadn't already stored.

 

One of my favorite nephews, he is! (I have four favorites.)

If ever circumstances screamed for moving Dozier down in the order it was this

 

Thank you for posting that. I really didn't want to.

 

Adrianza at first? Sano is benched? GIMENEZ at cleanup!?

Man, they really don't want Gibby to win.

 

I'm also unable to fully close my hand at that lineup

http://www.viraltechtricks.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/enable-middle-finger-emoji.png

I don't know, I think I could fully close my hand in anger over that lineup card.

 

Uggh.

 

If ever circumstances screamed for moving Dozier down in the order it was this

So you want Giminez hitting leadoff, is that what you're saying?

Fire Molitor right now. Even Gardy had enough shame never to bat Redmond clean-up

He did bat him third regularly.