The other day, I was consulting my muse when my muse, who sometimes goes by the name “ChiTownTwinsFan,” sent me a message regarding my upcoming game thread.

 

“Game thread?," I said “Did I sign up for a game thread?”

 

Digital confirmation quickly followed.

 

Which made me starting thinking about aging, guile and pitching, all in the form of “The Big Sexy,” AKA Bartolo Colon.

 

We all know Mr. Colon has aged and, until recently, aged pretty well for a guy who pitches in the major leagues. 

 

But, we also know that with age, comes forgetfulness. Take this recent conversation, for instance:

 

Catcher; “Uh, Bartolo, how many times are you going to call me out to the mound?”

 

Bartolo: “Until we get on the same page with the signs!”

 

Catcher: “Okay, so, which page are we on this inning? Last inning, you chewed me out for touching my arm as the

indicator.”

 

Bartolo: “Okay, so, yes, at that time the arm touch was the indicator. But, with a man on second, it's a hand to the knee followed by tapping the glove twice on the ground while turning to the right and winking at the pretty girl in the stands!”

 

Catcher: “Which pretty girl in the stands?”

 

Bartolo: “The one selling the hot dogs.”

 

Catcher: “What?”

 

Bartolo: “Speaking of which, can you get me one?”

 

Catcher: “One what?”

 

Bartolo: “A hot dog!”

 

Catcher: “We're in the middle of a game talking signs and you want a hot dog!?”

 

Bartolo: “Well, yes, I need to keep my strength up.”

 

Catcher: “Look, let's get through the signs and I'll get you a hot dog or 12 after the game, okay?”

 

Bartolo: “Sounds good. We'll take care of the signs right now. Speaking of now, about those hot dogs?”

 

I admit, I look at this start, and, on paper, it appears to be a mismatch. However, I remember a guy who pitched for the Twins several years ago, and did quite well for the first half of the season or so. Who can forget Livan "Smoke Free" Hernadez? Anyway, this has been a strange season so, who knows? Either way, it will be entertaining.

 

And, in watching the Evil Empire last night, it didn't appear that the Twins were all that impressed with the new look New Yawk is sporting, even though Aaron Judge is in the middle of a pretty good lineup.

 

 

However, the game is played on the field and not on paper. So, Play Ball!

 

Some things to think about:

 

Lienenkugel Bach
Summit Pale Ale
Black H2O Oatmeal Stout
Franks Amber Ale
Dry Stout

 

 

 

 

Pitching for the Twins:

 

Bartolo Colon

 

Yankees:

 

Luis Cessa

 

 

Lineups:

 

Twins:

 

1. Brian Dozier ® 2B

2. Zack Granite (L) CF

3. Joe Mauer (L) 1B

4. Miguel Sano ® 3B

5. Max Kepler (L) RF

6. Robbie Grossman (S) DH

7. Eddie Rosario (L) LF

8. Jorge Polanco (S) SS

9. Jason Castro (L) C

 

Evil Empire:

 

1. Brett Gardner (L) CF

2. Gary Sanchez ® C

3. Aaron Judge ® RF

4. Matt Holliday ® DH

5. Didi Gregorius (L) SS

6. Clint Frazier ® LF

7. Chase Headley (S) 3B

8. Garrett Cooper ® 1B

9. Ronald Torreyes ® 2B

Edited July 18, 20179 yr by ChiTownTwinsFan

No need for any signs with the Big Sexy. All that guy does is throw the heater! 

 

No need for any signs with the Big Sexy. All that guy does is throw the heater! 

You mean the one that might break glass, providing there's a tail wind?

this space reserved for all stupid puns.....go ahead, edit this at your will, and put them all in here. If that doesn't work, then they probably weren't meant to be on the thread.....

 

No need for any signs with the Big Sexy. All that guy does is throw the heater! 

I always though he threw more of a high cheese instead of a heater.  Fire up the fondue pot! 

With Hughes to the 60 day DL, who is the long man if Colon blows?

 

this space reserved for all stupid puns.....go ahead, edit this at your will, and put them all in here. If that doesn't work, then they probably weren't meant to be on the thread.....

Two comments: First, you sound a little up tight. Second, where do the smart puns go?

 

 

Signs? As before

 

Fastball       :

Changeup   ;

 

Anything else?

 

Your editor removed my spaces. I am sad.

Edited July 18, 20179 yr by Craig Arko

 

Two comments: First, you sound a little up tight. Second, where do the smart puns go?

 

see, the smart ones, those ones can be posted. See up 1 post as an example.

 

I always though he threw more of a high cheese instead of a heater.  Fire up the fondue pot! 

 

You just reminded me of one of my favorite restaurants in Portland...

 

 

Sixel, ever been to Gustavs?  I want to say it's in Beaverton/Tigard area.

Those are some mighty fine things to think about Blake, I'm a bit thirsty all of a sudden.

 

Now remember people, IBD is real, let's be sensitive about this.

 

You just reminded me of one of my favorite restaurants in Portland...

 

 

Sixel, ever been to Gustavs?  I want to say it's in Beaverton/Tigard area.

 

We have not been there yet. Maybe next time my wife has a client over there later in the day I'll meet her there. I am going to assume it's German....we almost went to Otto and Anita's the other day, but went Mexican instead. Been there?

I always though he threw more of a high cheese instead of a heater. Fire up the fondue pot!

In summer?!! Who eats fondue in the summer?

 

Let's go with the heater and have some BBQ!

 

Those are some mighty fine things to think about Blake, I'm a bit thirsty all of a sudden.

Now remember people, IBD is real, let's be sensitive about this.

It's a bit warm here. Hence....

 

We have not been there yet. Maybe next time my wife has a client over there later in the day I'll meet her there. I am going to assume it's German....we almost went to Otto and Anita's the other day, but went Mexican instead. Been there?

 

No, never been to Otto and Anita's.

 

Gustav's is a German place as well as a micro-brewery. I'm not really a beer person, but my friends always remembered the beers. I was a big fan of the swiss cheese fondue appetizer.

Go Tepesch, Wheeler, Wilk, Hestin, Wimmers, Tonkin, Haley, Rosario, Turley, Colon!

 

No, never been to Otto and Anita's.

 

Gustav's is a German place as well as a micro-brewery. I'm not really a beer person, but my friends always remembered the beers. I was a big fan of the swiss cheese fondue appetizer.

You remind me I need to visit The Melting Pot in d/t Minneapolis sometime. Maybe for Raclette.

 

https://www.meltingpot.com/

Edited July 18, 20179 yr by Craig Arko

 

Go Tepesch, Wheeler, Wilk, Hestin, Wimmers, Tonkin, Haley, Rosario, Turley, Colon!

 

This is a true winner of a post. 

Two comments: First, you sound a little up tight. Second, where do the smart puns go?

They get downed or fair caught inside the 10.

Go Tepesch, Wheeler, Wilk, Hestin, Wimmers, Tonkin, Haley, Rosario, Turley, Colon!

Whither?

 

Go Tepesch, Wheeler, Wilk, Hestin, Wimmers, Tonkin, Haley, Rosario, Turley, Colon!

And take Gibson with ya!!

How Big Sexy will distract the Yankees from hitting home runs:

http://mommyisboss.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/truffle-shuffle.gif

Edited July 18, 20179 yr by Vanimal46

I'm hoping Colon can eat a lot of innings tonight.

 

 

Just remember Colon is on a very cheap contract.

 

He told the Twins, "I will gladly pitch for you Tuesday, for a hamburger today."

 

 

How Big Sexy will distract the Yankees from hitting home runs:

http://mommyisboss.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/truffle-shuffle.gif

The Truffle Shuffle...classic!

Some things to think about:

Lienenkugel Bach
Summit Pale Ale
Black H2O Oatmeal Stout
Franks Amber Ale
Dry Stout

 

Add Shofferhofer Grapefruit Hefeweizen since it is remarkably refreshing on a hot day.

 

Some things to think about:

Lienenkugel Bach
Summit Pale Ale
Black H2O Oatmeal Stout
Franks Amber Ale
Dry Stout

 

Add Shofferhofer Grapefruit Hefeweizen since it is remarkably refreshing on a hot day.

 

that is a great Radler for sure.

 

Those are some mighty fine things to think about Blake, I'm a bit thirsty all of a sudden.

Now remember people, IBD is real, let's be sensitive about this.

I've drank a lot of IBC's over the years but I've never had an IBD. Is it a stout or an ale? Sounds like it might go well with poultry. Goose maybe?

 

I'm hoping Colon can eat a lot of innings tonight.

Just make sure there's lots of Pepto.