That was an ugly swing.

i would think ducks suffer more from bilateral wing soreness...

Maybe some mallards too.

You guys are just loony

Just a bit outside. Way to set the tone.

There is hope for the world yet!

Just for you (and the other poster with the tuba avatar):

 

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tehm9ISJfyU/VHMmSEfVb2I/AAAAAAAABkQ/44XeqNDKhh8/s1600/lukisan%2Bsurealis.jpg

Today is a very important day, as it is my sister’s birthday. I won’t bore you with how old she is, and she doesn’t read this site, but I’ll simply note that I’m proud of her and wish her a happy **th birthday. With that out of the way, we need to discuss far more important things to think about today, namely regarding our Twins and a game against another good AL contender. My last set of things to think about centered around the 5 stages of grief, and considering how we got our ***es handed to us by our AL Central rivals, it seemed fitting. Of course, the good guys show all that grit and hustle that would make Gardy proud. They went to Cleveland and beat the snot out of them on the road, retaking first place and giving Twins fans hope. Hope is a fickle mistress. She was the really hot administrative assistant that a young DiehardTwinsFan had the privilege of working with in one of his first jobs. She is the mistress that is absolutely obsessed with teasing Vikings fans, but we all know how that ends. She doesn’t like Vikings fans much, neither do the Vikings I might add, as they seem to team together with her step-sister Despair to well…. I really cannot put into words just how gruesome they really are, but no Stephen King novel is able to capture the horror. But for Twins fans, hope has been both kind and evil, much like the average Greek goddess granting them occasional joy, while mostly afflicting them with some despair.

 

Things to think about.

 

1. Boston. I hate that place. Never mind that I had an employer based out of there which forced me to do some occasional travel. OK, the Italian food is really good. The problem with Boston is the people. In Massachusetts, they take pride in calling themselves M***holes, as this is some sort of extra special a-hole that only Massachusetts can produce. I don’t get it. I’m not Minnesota nice since I live in Indiana, but why take pride in this? Then again, they do have a prominent place in this country’s history, so there’s that. But Boston sport’s fans are as arrogant as Yankee’s fans, but they seem to forget that their team has just a few less WS victories than their chief counterparts after selling some guy named Ruth to the Yankees for cash considerations. Yeah, they basically got Ortiz from the Twins, but at least we DFAd him first after no one would trade an actual player for him.

 

2. Rick Porcello. Every time I hear someone say “we need to sign an ace,” it usually follows with some names that we like with some names that invariably elicit a WTF moment from a few posters around here. Porcello probably fits that category in the sense that he made it to the majors at age 20, giving lots of people in Detroit hope and causing lots of other fans to covet this young talented “pitching prospect,” if such a thing actually exists. Maybe this is SSS bias, but given that all of my wife’s family consists of Tigers fans, perhaps I heard it there. Then again, I’m sure I heard it here too. In reality, Porcello is a pitching prospect that never lived up to the hype, having only two full seasons in the majors with an ERA under 4, despite being in the majors since 2009 with a Gibsonesque career K rate of 6.24. What that really means is that our K heavy lineup will either explode or turn him into the next incarnation of Cy Young. I don’t know which.

 

3. Morristown. Believe it or not, that’s where Porcello is from. It’s named after some guy named Jack Morris after he pitched a really awesome 10 inning shutout in game 7 of the 1991 World Series, which still to this date is the best WS game ever played… capping what was one of the best WS matches. We all know who came on top. The good guys of course (except for BigGentleBen who for some strange reason thinks otherwise).

 

4. History. Not much to say here, except for some guy named Ferdinand being assassinated. It sparked some sort of big war that supposedly was going to end all wars. It didn’t though. Sometime after that, some guy named Keynes in 1919 predicted economic chaos. He was off by about 10 years, but like every prognosticator, close enough was good enough and he’s hailed as some sort of economic expert by people who clearly have never ready his theories. Most importantly, the first Corvette was assembled in 1953 in Flint, Mi. I would still prefer a Shelby Mustang.

 

5. Game thread streaks. OK, I’ve won two in a row after losing every one of my previous threads. I’m too lazy to look this up to see if it’s 3 or 4, but I’m going with optimism here, as for some silly reason, the Twins like the road more than they like home. I can only go with the idea that they hate something about their lives, or they consist of a team of extreme introverts that prefers the solitude of the road to the noise of home.

I liked Porcello. What I thought was cool was he wore that little turtleneck undershirt in his avatar photo. That was an old school looking pic. Now that he's a red sock, I want the Twinkies to hit as many rockets as they can today, and Charlie-Brown those red socks and turtleneck right off the guy.

I get that the Monster is tricky to play, but it seems that given that it is such a small field to play compared to RF that Grossman should be in left.

Now that I think some more. With Mejia pitching, there figure to be more balls hit to LF. So Grossman in RF makes sense.

 

Note to mods: is there some reason why it wouldn't let me post an edit to the original post? Is that just a game thread thing?

Hey David HK:

 

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jan/28/doctor-fights-shark-stitches-up-leg

Oh by the by,

 

Mauer made an outstanding defensive play in the first inning but resulted in a base hit

I think this season has proved, the Twins should be looking for a DH in free agency. An OPS under 700 for Vargas is poor

I think this season has proved, the Twins should be looking for a DH in free agency. An OPS under 700 for Vargas is poor

idk, between Grossman and DH days for Mauer and Sano, I don't think it's a priority. I would also expect Mitch Garver to be in that mix. Obviously, keeping Grossman is not certain. We'll see how the second half plays out.

 

And don't forget to do the Math...

 

Hey David HK:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jan/28/doctor-fights-shark-stitches-up-leg

Zoiks!!!  Braver man than I.  

 

Kiwis one-upping their Brit counterparts again.  Just like last weekend, and the 2 weekends to come:

We interrupt this episode of Days of Our Lives to bring you some baseball news:

 

Phil Hughes activated from the DL.  Breslow to the 10 day DL for rib soreness.

 

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

 

Well, now they won't have to return Breslow to whomever they drafted him from under Rule V. I mean, that's why they're keeping him on the roster, right?

Okay, threaders, Chief and I are awaiting your PM's to fill out the schedule in July. Whether you've never started a thread, or have once or twice, or have many times ... whether you are funny or straight-up ... whether you are 10 or 975 (Chief) ... let us know.

 

These are the remaining July dates available (and you can take a look at August, too):

7/4 LAA

7/7 BAL

7/8 BAL

7/9 BAL

7/19 NYY

7/22 DET

7/23 DET

7/26 @LAD

 

Check out this thread for the meager requirements and any technical instructions you might need. You'll also find available dates beyond July.

http://twinsdaily.com/topic/25228-2017-game-thread-volunteers-needed1/

Mejia is starting to flirt more with disaster with each passing inning. Keep it together!

Good job of dealing your way out of trouble.

Holy cow, what an inning for Mejia! Taking down Pedroia-Bogaerts-Moreland with runners on is not an easy thing to do. Very nice!

He's got good stuff.

Wow. Nice pick by Moreland.

 

Okay, threaders, Chief and I are awaiting your PM's to fill out the schedule in July. Whether you've never started a thread, or have once or twice, or have many times ... whether you are funny or straight-up ... whether you are 10 or 975 (Chief) ... let us know.

These are the remaining July dates available (and you can take a look at August, too):
7/4 LAA
7/7 BAL
7/8 BAL
7/9 BAL
7/19 NYY
7/22 DET
7/23 DET
7/26 @LAD

Check out this thread for the meager requirements and any technical instructions you might need. You'll also find available dates beyond July.
http://twinsdaily.com/topic/25228-2017-game-thread-volunteers-needed1/

Okay, whaddya mean by "straight-up"?

I think there might be hope for Mejia in the future rotation.

Is there anything more satisfying that taking the first scoop out of a jar peanut butter? I mean, seriously!

 

.

Note to mods: is there some reason why it wouldn't let me post an edit to the original post? Is that just a game thread thing?

If you wait too long you lose the ability to edit.

Okay, whaddya mean by "straight-up"?

She means when you like your cocktails in a chilled cocktail glass. This is how I prefer to enjoy my Manhattans.

 

Is there anything more satisfying that taking the first scoop out of a jar peanut butter? I mean, seriously!

If you use dark chocolate as the scooping device.

 

Is there anything more satisfying that taking the first scoop out of a jar peanut butter? I mean, seriously!

Kissing Jennifer Lawrence?

If you use dark chocolate as the scooping device.

Ritz crackers are my go to scooping device.

fwiw, Dillon Gee threw just under 50 pitches in 3 IP to tonight for Rochester. 1 hit, 1 walk, 1 strikeout.

Kissing Jennifer Lawrence?

Like everyone else in this forum, having never partaken I can only imagine that you are correct.

 

Is there anything more satisfying that taking the first scoop out of a jar peanut butter? I mean, seriously!

With what?  A tablespoon?  A stalk of celery?  A pretzel stick?

 

I mean, all are good options.

 

Oh, yes, and chunky, or smooth?   I gotta have the crunch.