ANNND Welcome! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line: The Thing That Should Not Be Edition. I am your host for the next 2 days, Vanimal. The Twins face off against the Giants, in a city where you can rent the equivalent of a closet for $3,500 a month! Before we get into lineups and weather, let's jam out to the only concert ChiTown and I would agree to see together.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ihv3OgzkYsg

 

It's the best of both worlds! Chi enjoys the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra, and I enjoy the HEAVY guitar solos!

 

Bring your jackets, because it's a cold one in the bay. 63 degrees at first pitch. VERY breezy winds out of the W at 16 MPH. Becoming more windy during the afternoon.

 

Minnesota Twins (31-26):

 

 

P - Jose Berrios - 81 overall on MLB The Show!

 

San Francisco Giants (25-38):

 

P - Jeff Samardzjia - There's one misspelling here. Guess where it is!

 

 

The Whine Line team has been extremely busy this season producing a new MOCKumentary, and you're all special little snowflakes who get to read it! We're calling it....

 

Miguel Sano: The Thing That Should Not Be

 

Date: September 30, 2009

 

This is a story of 3 physicists in the Dominican Republic looking to CHANGE the world! Their names were Dr. North, Dr. Chief, and Dr. Chi. All three physicists were sent to the Dominican by Professor Glunn, who was hellbent on pushing the limits of the human body. 

 

One afternoon, Professor Glunn mixed up one of his physics books with the comic book Incredible Hulk. Ever since that day, he's BELIEVED that it could be done! I mean, he read it in a book! For the past 2 years, Dr. North, Chief, and Chi were testing this hypothesis on different creatures, with a mixed bag of results.

 

"Look! This iguana is angry, and now it can lift a 100 pound rock," Dr. Chi shrieked in joy!

 

"Unfortunately the ant stopped being angry, and got crushed by a 2×4," Dr. Chief explained.

 

"Aren't you guys tired of testing on everything BESIDES humans? Let's take it to the next level," suggested Dr. North.

 

Dr. Chief and Chi were intrigued... "What do you propose?"

 

Dr. North faces the team and gives a devilish smile. "Well, the Twins just signed Miguel Sano. Why don't we pay him a visit?"

 

All three give the look of approval and laugh maniacally together.....

 

NEXT MORNING:

 

There's a new buzz at the lab, as the three get prepared to trick Sano to come inside. "Chi, do you have the trap set?" Dr. North asked.

 

"Yes, 10 batches of warm pebernodder cookies are waiting for him outside," Dr. Chi replied. Excellent! You would think the hard part is finding Sano, but not for these 3 geniuses... Luck found them.

 

Dr. Chief yelled Sano is outside! Hurry! Dr. North whistled him over to test their cookies. As soon as Sano took the first bite, Dr. Chief SNEAK attacked him, knocking him out cold. The experiment is ready to begin....

 

Sano wakes up in confusion, strapped to a chair and overhears the conversation going on.

 

"Is this bomb big enough to turn him into the HULK?"

"According to Professor Glunn's calculations it is..."

"Ah, what the hell. Let's do this!!"

 

3 hours later Sano wakes up again...

 

"How are you feeling, Miguel?" Dr. North inquired.

 

"A little strange. My head hurts. And my biceps are twice the size now."

 

"Don't worry! This is all PERFECTLY NORMAL," all three doctors said in unison. "Now, let's see what it looks like when you're angry. What makes you angry?"

 

"Whenever a columnist claims I'm overweight and need to grow up."

 

"GREAT! Channel that anger and let's see what happens. Dr. Chief, hand him a bat and toss him a curveball," Dr. Chi said. Dr. Chief wound up and threw the best bender he could... And Sano crushes it!

 

"I think we have something here... Let's report back to Professor Glunn." After reporting back, Professor Glunn is ecstatic! He also warns the physicists to keep their goddang mouths shut so the MLB commissioner doesn't find out about this. All three concurred, and didn't speak a word about it to anyone....

 

UNTIL NOW!

 

Let's Win Twins!!

Edited June 10, 20179 yr by Vanimal46

Let's finish out this road trip strong!

 

Let's finish out this road trip strong!

As in chicken again tonight????  

Thankfully there are so many ways to cook a chicken, but it does, still taste like chicken      

Twins

1. Brian Dozier ® 2B

2. Robbie Grossman (S) LF

3. Miguel Sano ® 3B

4. Max Kepler (L) RF

5. Kennys Vargas (S) 1B

6. Eddie Rosario (L) CF

7. Chris Gimenez ® C

8. Ehire Adrianza (S) SS

9. Jose Berrios ® P

 

Giants

1. Denard Span (L) CF

2. Eduardo Nunez ® 3B

3. Brandon Belt (L) 1B

4. Buster Posey ® C

5. Brandon Crawford (L) SS

6. Hunter Pence ® RF

7. Aaron Hill ® 2B

8. Austin Slater ® LF

9. Jeff Samardzija ® P

We may have to take Gimenez away from Molitor. Despite the fact that Castro is far better against righties than lefties, and despite the fact that our pitchers are better pitching to Castro than Gimenez, and despite the fact that Gimenez has a career .580 OPS against righties, Molitor continues to start him against righties.

Those 3 physicists used to experiment on me. 

 

It all went horribly wrong. 

 

We may have to take Gimenez away from Molitor. Despite the fact that Castro is far better against righties than lefties, and despite the fact that our pitchers are better pitching to Castro than Gimenez, and despite the fact that Gimenez has a career .580 OPS against righties, Molitor continues to start him against righties.

Hey, now, real baseball guys trust hunches, not facts. Now pack up your numbers and leave. Good day, sir! :-)

Excited to listen to the Giants announcers again. If anyone caught it last night, they were praising the Twins hustle the entire 2nd half of the game in a way I hadn't heard mentioned by any divisional announcers. Also featured a better breakdown of Santana's slider than I remember seeing elsewhere.

Van, that's the kind of concert that I'd likely be working at, but you could hit me up for tickets and we could meet up after for drinks.

 

Now, the concert we could go to together would be a Steve n Seagull concert. I mean, who doesn't like a little bluegrass with their rock?

Where's Joe Mauer? And Buxton?

Edited June 10, 20179 yr by brettbrett88

Perhaps we should go see Metallica together next time they perform with a symphony orchestra.

 

Where's Joe Mauer? And Buxton?

 

I'm all for giving both a day off.  Mauer because  he seems to need them regularly at this point, and Buxton because he hasn't been good lately.

 

Where's Joe Mauer? And Buxton?

I wondered that too. Pretty safe bet they will be used today at some point.

I'm all for giving both a day off.  Mauer because  he seems to need them regularly at this point, and Buxton because he hasn't been good lately.

True but Buxton can steal a base and I think it's fair to say that defensively he's been outstanding recently

Nunez!!

At least I can listen to the whole game.

By the way... no mention of Dr. Die?  That one kind of writes itself

Down 1-0 after 1.

 

I have it on good authority that the sky is falling.

Those 3 physicists used to experiment on me.

 

It all went horribly wrong.

Horribly is of course subjective...

 

As glowing blue Ben Kanobi once said "you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."

Where's Joe Mauer? And Buxton?

Visitors dugout at AT&T park would be my guess.

Giants need more players like Pence

Did Berrios just get the team's first hit? Who knew our pitchers could hit!

maybe the twins SHOULD draft one of the two-way players.

 

maybe the twins SHOULD draft one of the two-way players.

Why? We already have two.

 

Why? We already have two.

 

Positional flexibility.

 

 

/RB

Hush...

 

Berrios needs to concentrate...

Wow, how was that not a strike? Well, Berrios got it done anyways.

 

Wow, how was that not a strike? Well, Berrios got it done anyways.

 

Do you think 2016 Berrios gets the batter on the next pitch? 

Berrios like to load the bases at least once a game and try to wiggle his way out of it.

 

Been working but that won't always work

Edited June 10, 20179 yr by drock2190

 

Did Berrios just get the team's first hit? Who knew our pitchers could hit!

Last night Santana was the Hombre. The last time a Twins pitcher had three RBI was Luis Tiant in 1970. Forgot about his one year in Bloomington.

Edited June 10, 20179 yr by Circus Boy