After piling up doubleheaders the Twins travel to Baltimore and it seems like the weather might follow them. There is a 90% chance of rain tonight and a 70% chance tomorrow night so there might be another doubleheader this week to add to the pile.

Good weather if you are a Sea Lion but it's about all that is good for right now... sea lions. They have a serious PR problem after one of them pulled a 5 year old child into the water on Saturday. Back when I was younger… sea lions were always happy balancing a ball on their nose.

In case you haven’t seen the video, everybody is ok, but since the incident, authorities have put up additional signage stating “Don’t feed 5-year-olds to sea lions.” Some people need practical advice like that. Just like the warning on Preparation H, “Not for Oral Use;” you know that warning is on the packaging because someone did just that and then probably complained to the company after. “Dear Preparation H… I ate almost the whole tube and it did not cure me. I seriously question your product. I tried to call and complain but my mouth is so small that I can’t speak so I am writing you this letter. I would like my money back”.

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. Baltimore – Baltimore is a big city in between Washington DC and Philadelphia which are even bigger cities and this makes Baltimore the runt of the litter. You all know what happens to the runt of the litter... the runt watches vital resources go to the bigger and stronger around them, and in the wild the majority of the runts don’t survive. Baltimore has provided us all with products that we all know. Under Armour is based in Baltimore and so is McCormick. All those McCormick spices and other stuff that you put on perfectly good food is gathered on the decaying streets of Baltimore, packaged and shipped to us.

2. Our Twins – Are you Negative Nellys still all negative? The team is still in first place so you got to try and shake it off. Purge your soul, perhaps for the imminent collapse. You be me for a while and I’ll be you; it’s not time for the replacements yet.

3. The Orioles – The Royals hit 73 home runs against Twins pitching this weekend but the Royals are not the power team to worry about. The Orioles are the premier power team in the American League. So if the Royals hit 73 home runs… the Orioles have the potential to hit 74. Machado, Davis, Jones, Trumbo, Mancini, Schoop, and even the catcher Wellington, are all serious power threats. Perhaps the threat of rain isn’t such a bad thing.

4. Today’s Joe M Conversation

McCarthy: Hey Joe… are ranchers really jolly? Is that where the name comes from?

Maddon: Do you really believe that? Do you believe they are called Jolly Ranchers because ranchers are jolly?

Montana: Hey, take it easy, Joe… it was just a question.

Maddon: How did you get elected to public office, McCarthy? Do you think ranchers are growing hard candy and they are happy about it?

McCarthy: OK… OK… sometimes you really talk down to people, Joe.

Maddon: I do not… I’m just like everybody else.

Montana: You do, Joe… you are being rough on McCarthy and you are not like everybody else. Mauer for example doesn’t talk down to people.

Maddon: C’mon, use your brain, Montana. He talks down to people all the time.

Mauer: Yeah… I’m 6-5.

5. Tonto - Everyone needs a Tonto. It’s nice having people who support you... people you can count on… people who have your backs no matter what. Tonto was consistently dependable and always there through thick and thin. Despite this faithful companionship… the “LONE” Ranger never dropped the “LONE” From his title.
Lone Ranger: I’m all alone
Tonto: No Kemosabe… I'm here, too.
Lone Ranger: I’m a Ranger and I’m all alone.
____________________

Lineups:

TWINS
Brian Dozier 2B
Robbie Grossman LF
Joe Mauer 1B
Miguel Sano 3B
Max Kepler RF
Eduardo Escobar DH
Jorge Polanco SS
Jason Castro C
Byron Buxton CF

Kyle Gibson P

ORIOLES
Seth Smith RF
Adam Jones CF
Manny Machado 3B
Mark Trumbo DH
Chris Davis 1B
Welington Castillo C
Trey Mancini LF
Jonathan Schoop 2B
J.J. Hardy SS

Ubaldo Gimenez P

Weather: 72 deg F, cloudy with a 30% chance of rain, low winds ... I think we may get this one in!

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The Twins are on the road, which means they've got a legit chance to take this series!  Then again, these are the red hot Orioles and I'm deeply concerned, as all Twins fans are.  We're still wounded from last year and waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Not too thrilled about Gibby being back, same as the rest of you.  Maybe he'll be angry out there and pitch with a chip on his shoulder?  

Interesting side note about Preparation H: Used by body builders to shrink the bags under their eyes.

 

No, not kidding. 

 

Don't blame me, blame Brian. Brian brought up Preparation H.

Yeah, I've hung around some interesting, for lack of a better term, people in my life.

The Lone Ranger's problem was he never read John Donne. If he'd had he would have known that no man is an island. But then what kind of macho ranger wanted to be seen packing poetry books in his saddle bags? Whoosh! Image right out the teepee window. Can you imagine the hard time the bad guys would've given him then?

 

I'm old enough to remember listening to the Lone Ranger on the radio. For you young'uns out there, radio's in those days were these big wooden boxes full of tubes that glowed. Radio's pulled magic out of the air and stimulated the imagination of its listeners because you had to picture everything in your mind. Which is why us oldtimers vividly recall walking uphill both ways to school, snow up to our lunch boxes, eyelids froze shut from the bitter howling winds. Yeah, really. They hadn't invented soccer moms with mini-vans yet.

 

So if anyone out there is still walking to school... well, don't feel like the Lone Ranger.

I am a believer now...a converted negative Nelly, I suppose.  That said, I just want the rain to stop, the sun to shine, and our Twins it win one of these games in Baltimore.  While I'm sure the guys could use a days rest after yesterday's double header, I'm not sure a rain out is the right answer.

And maybe the chip will cause delivery problems and he will get a mysterious shoulder injury which leads to the DL. Then all Twins Daily commenters will be happy as two more minor leaguers get promoted and save the Twins. Yea!!!!!

 

The Lone Ranger's problem was he never read John Donne. If he'd had he would have known that no man is an island. But then what kind of macho ranger wanted to be seen packing poetry books in his saddle bags? Whoosh! Image right out the teepee window. Can you imagine the hard time the bad guys would've given him then?

 

I'm old enough to remember listening to the Lone Ranger on the radio. For you young'uns out there, radio's in those days were these big wooden boxes full of tubes that glowed. Radio's pulled magic out of the air and stimulated the imagination of its listeners because you had to picture everything in your mind. Which is why us oldtimers vividly recall walking uphill both ways to school, snow up to our lunch boxes, eyelids froze shut from the bitter howling winds. Yeah, really. They hadn't invented soccer moms with mini-vans yet.

 

So if anyone out there is still walking to school... well, don't feel like the Lone Ranger.

Do you remember taking tubes out of the tv to the local shop and putting them in the tube tester and then buying the replacement based on the number?

 

I thought that was pretty cool.

 

Do you remember taking tubes out of the tv to the local shop and putting them in the tube tester and then buying the replacement based on the number?

 

I thought that was pretty cool.

Yeah! I do remember that now that you brought it up. We got our first TV when I was in kindergarten. I recall coming home from school and sitting on the floor in front of this big box that showed nothing but "snow" while the TV guy was up on the roof rigging up the antenna when all of a sudden the snow disappeared and Axel came on. I thought the TV guy was the Wizard of Oz. My mind's been blown ever since.

 

 

Those Joes are a tight-knit group. They're on a last name basis.

"Just like the warning on Preparation H “Not for Oral Use”, you know that warning is on the packaging because someone did just that and then probably complained to the company after. “Dear Preparation H… I ate almost the whole tube and it did not cure me. I seriously question your product. I tried to call and complain but my mouth is so small that I can’t speak so I am writing you this letter. I would like my money back”."

 

Manufacturer's Reply.

 

Stick it up your a$$.

I like how you explain why we shouldn't be Negative Nelly and then go on to explain that the Royals, an offensively challenged team hit 73 HRs against the Twins pitchers and now I'm supposed to feel good about them facing a really good offensive team?  Now I'm just confused, so I'll remain somewhat negative but enjoy the ride anyway.  

 

And I didn't even mention the return of Gibson...

Edited May 22, 20179 yr by wsnydes

The Lone Ranger's problem was he never read John Donne. If he'd had he would have known that no man is an island.

I just looked up that quote. What he actually said was: "No man is an Iland, intire of itselfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine."

 

That man makes some of us look like spelling bee champions.

Those Joes are a tight-knit group. They're on a last name basis.

“We're on a first-number basis with each other. He calls me 3 and I call him 2.” -- Bill Lee, the Spaceman

Thanks for the reminder to read the labels on products like Preparation H. Very topical.

Thanks for the reminder to read the labels on products like Preparation H. Very topical.

 

iswydt9.jpg

 

I wish all cats were like that. The birds could breath easy then.

 

I just looked up that quote. What he actually said was: "No man is an Iland, intire of itselfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine."

 

That man makes some of us look like spelling bee champions.

I believe back when that was written, formal spelling of words really hadn't been standardized. Heck, check some of the writings of the Founders. 

 

 

 

And I didn't even mention the return of Gibson...

 

Sigh...... Gibby is back. Can't wait!!1!

The Lone Ranger has kept his "Lone" appellation in response to Tonto's less-than-forthcoming dictum ("Doctor say you going to die, Kemosabe.") during the now-famous snake bite incident. 

 

 

Sigh...... Gibby is back. Can't wait!!1!

I sense sarcasm...

 

I believe back when that was written, formal spelling of words really hadn't been standardized. Heck, check some of the writings of the Founders. 

We should ask Chief to confirm this.  I tend to believe first hand accounts over hearsay.  

Watch, Gibson will go 7+ innings, strike out 7 and give up only 1 or two runs.

 

For whatever reason, this team seems to find ways to win.

Watch, Gibson will go 7+ innings, strike out 7 and give up only 1 or two runs.

 

For whatever reason, this team seems to find ways to win.

Giving up only 1 or two runs, if it happens, would probably count as a "reason".

Rain for a few days might be the best thing.

I believe back when that was written, formal spelling of words really hadn't been standardized. Heck, check some of the writings of the Founders. 

I stopped reading the Bill of Rights when it began "Congrefs of the United States...". How did anyone back then take those people seriously? "Yo, Madison my man, are we not doing spellcheck anymore?"

I don't hold out much hope for this series.  As many posters have mentioned, the Twins simply can not handle anyone outside of their division.  One of the reasons why it is so hard to be a fan is simply because the management continues to do this year after year.

 

Our holes in our pitching is going to sink this ship.  How can anyone think Gibson is a valuable option when the guy simply cant hit the corners and his fastball tops off at 90 if he is lucky.  I wish this team would not wait so damn long to make any changes.  

Now I have the Preparation H Raymond song stuck in my head. 

 

Now I have the Preparation H Raymond song stuck in my head. 

I thought that was your default mode?