https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOzjBO2dsmY

 

ANNND Welcome! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line: WrestleMania Edition! I am your host for the next 2 days, Stone Cold Van from Austin, the TEXAS RATTLESNAKE... I'm here to TEAR S*** UP! Are you as excited as we are for a Royal Rumble featuring the Minnesota Twins and the White Sox?! You better be, or my fists will have something to say to you! Before we jump into the event, let's talk weather and lineups. Bark, toss me a beer or 3 and let's get it started!

 

 

 

Looks like it's going to rain in Minneapolis! 80% chance of thunderstorms to be exact. If the game is played, they'll be in 65 degree weather...

 

Minnesota Twins (6-4):

 

 

 

P- Ervin Santana ® - 83 overall on MLB The Show!

 

Chicago White Sox (5-4):

 

 

P- Jose Quintana (L) - Starting off the season slowly!

 

 

Alright, we've got a special treat for you tonight! Everyone in the AL Central is battling for the valuable division belt, and you're about to see your Twins square off in the ring! Let's meet our first contenders....

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMCedNz7ML8

 

Miguel Sano vs. Jose Abreu:

 

Can you feel the TENSION in the air? You can cut it with a knife as these 2 sluggers flat out don't like each other.... 

 

JA: "I hope you brought your jammies, Undertaker. Because I'm going to put you to sleep."
MS: "Put me to sleep? Please.... You're the one putting your fans to sleep hitting 0 home runs so far."
JA: "Oh yeah? At least I'm not striking out 35% of the time in my career."

 

Oh no! There's a crazy look in Miguel's eyes.... Could it be?! YES! It's the Tombstone Piledriver!!

 

 

And the crowd goes wild! But WAIT! We're not supposed to see any other AL Central teams here.... What is Eric Hosmer doing running in the ring? As a dirty Royal would do, he just hit Sano in the back with a folding chair... Sano is down. Who can help out the Undertaker now?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcFcDlZXH7U

 

Oh my god!! It's Byron "The Rock" Buxton! Please Byron, save Sano from the WRATH of Hosmer!

 

BB: "This ain't your battle, Hosmer. We just played you last week."
EH: "You think I wouldn't make an appearance? We deserve to win the title! We won it all 2 years ago."
BB: "That's old news, Hosmer."
EH: "You know what isn't going to be old news, you batting .081 and striking out 52.6% of the time in April."

 

Oh no! I've seen that look from Buxton before, and he's going to try it.... The PEOPLE'S ELBOW! He's flying around the ring, and...Connection! Hosmer is DOWN! 1....2....3..... PINNED!!
 

But wait! Francisco Lindor sneaks up behind Buxton as he was celebrating the win and knocks him out cold! Who can save Buxton from the BLOODY carnage on the ring?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lZDgGr1PO0

 

 

NO WAY! Could it really be?! Brian Dozier, the REAL AMERICAN is here to avenge his friend.

 

BD: "YOU.... We need to talk. What are you gonna do, brother?"
FL: "You guys are trying to steal property from us. The title is OURS."
BD: "Nobody has the title now, brother. Until I say so, it's MINE."
FL: "You know what else is ours? Your weakness. Down and away pitching so you can't hit home runs anymore! Hahahaha"

 

The crowd is growing EXHAUSTED in anticipation! Right hook... MEAN right hook again for Dozier! Lindor is pushed down, and OMG! It's the LEG DROP!!!

 

 

And Dozier wins! He's tearing off his shirt as the ladies go crazy! But wait.... Dozier NO!!

He was sneak attacked by none other than Miggy Cabrera. The former MVP couldn't take the thought of Dozier being better than him.

 

*Lights dim*

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGX8NSMDBfY

 

Finally! Ervin Kane is here... and boy does he look TERRIFYING and ANGRY....

 

ES: "You don't get to do this to my friends, Miggy. You don't smell baseball, you don't get this title."
MC: "I have something better than that title... I can hit against anyone on your team. In fact, I know off the top of my head that I'm hitting .318/.391/.585 with 40 HR against your team in my career."

 

Is this it? The final battle?! It certainly appears so... Ervin is PISSED. Wait, what's he taking out of his pocket? YES! It's the famous pitching sock! Miggy quivers in fear, knowing what's coming next...

 

 

Oh my god! It's over! Twins win! THEEEEE TWINS... WIN! The crowd is going wild for the new AL Central division champions.... Now let's get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

 

 

Win Twins! That is if you play today....

Edited April 15, 20179 yr by Vanimal46

Big thanks to Bark for creating the amazing pics of Sano, Dozier, and Ervin beating up AL Central opponents!!

That. Was. AWESOME.

Hahahahah, well done, sir.

I'm kinda tired just reading that.

Guess I'll take a nap until game time.

I'm kinda tired just reading that.

Guess I'll take a nap until game time.

There's a few beers in the fridge from last night... A good ol' beer smash will wake you right up!

Epic game thread intro.

Holy cripes, Van! I didn't even mind that was long!

So... We might win?

 

I am still not used to this.

You did it Van! You knocked it out of the park... it was a moon shot!

So... We might win?

I am still not used to this.

Technically, they may tie today because of the rain. How's it looking up there in Minneapolis?

Grossman- DH

Mauer

Sano

Polanco

Giminez

Escobar- 2B

Kepler

Santana

Buxton

 

That's an interesting and not a very good looking lineup.

Start time is 1 by the way.

Start time is 1 by the way.

Title fixed. h/t

Sox lineup is:

Tim Anderson SS

Avisail Garcia RF

Jose Abreu DH

Todd Frazier 3B

Cody Asche 1B

Yolmer Sanchez 2B

Leury Garcia LF

Omar Narvaez C

Jacob May CF

Just an off day for Dozier, or is there some sort of injury?

 

Technically, they may tie today because of the rain. How's it looking up there in Minneapolis?

Radar wise, it is looking promising.

 

Radar wise, it is looking promising.

Yeah it looks like it should be relatively rain free until about 4.

Grossman- DH

Mauer

Sano

Polanco

Giminez

Escobar- 2B

Kepler

Santana

Buxton

 

That's an interesting and not a very good looking lineup.

Oh good, DanSan got another start. I was hoping he'd play more. I wouldn't want him getting rusty...

I see the lineup took its ugly pills this morning.

Oh good, DanSan got another start. I was hoping he'd play more. I wouldn't want him getting rusty...

I suppose Molitor is going with some new-fangled theory about which hand the opposing pitcher throws with, or some gosh darned thing.

Just an off day for Dozier, or is there some sort of injury?

Yes.

 

Unless of course he has been traded.

 

Yes.

Unless of course he has been traded.

Actually I just saw a report from Mike Berardino that Dozier has a sore right knee, but at least the MRI came back negative. http://www.twincities.com/2017/04/15/minnesota-twins-brian-dozier-sent-for-mri-on-inflamed-right-knee/

Actually I just saw a report from Mike Berardino that Dozier has a sore right knee, but at least the MRI came back negative. http://www.twincities.com/2017/04/15/minnesota-twins-brian-dozier-sent-for-mri-on-inflamed-right-knee/

Nah. A trade is in the works, and will be completed within the next 32.5975381 hours. Book it.

Good lord! Ye gods! Gad zooks! Baseball Mania!! Great job Vanimal!

I just noticed...

 

Quintana... Santana...

 

Kind of rhymes.

 

What does that portend?

 

I just noticed...

Quintana... Santana...

Kind of rhymes.

What does that portend?

Good times.

 

With a satisfying end.

Nah. A trade is in the works, and will be completed within the next 32.5975381 hours. Book it.

I heard it is 1-1 for Jose de Leon. Mariners win the penant.

I just noticed...

Quintana... Santana...

Kind of rhymes.

What does that portend?

DanSan 4-5, 2RBI and 3 runs scored. Oh, and 2 outfield assists.

Actually I just saw a report from Mike Berardino that Dozier has a sore right knee, but at least the MRI came back negative. http://www.twincities.com/2017/04/15/minnesota-twins-brian-dozier-sent-for-mri-on-inflamed-right-knee/

Sounds like he's available to PH or maybe even PR today.