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Article: Game Thread: Twins v White Sox, 4/14@7:10pm CT

Riverbrian
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Dave The Dastardly Cedar Rapids Kernels

Dave The Dastardly

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I must confess (little play on words there) that I attended a Catholic school and even did some time as an altar boy, until the parish priest decided it would be best for all concerned if I pursued my educational opportunities at the public school. I’m also a fan of fortune cookies and therefore feel qualified to weave a few of today’s game threads, Joe Torre getting reamed in church, platitudes instead of fortunes inside fortune cookies and the ashes on the forehead thing, into a nice little knot.

 

First off, Catholics like to wallow in guilt. That’s why the woman chewed Torre a new one in church; she was just being a good Catholic and helping him feel guilty. Although just being the Yankee manager should be enough of a guilt trip for anyone. Dominus vobiscum.

 

Secondly, Confucius died centuries ago and Charlie Chan last century. Now the Chinese are more into making shoddy products than coming up with meaningful predictions. They’ve lost their perspicacity and now just look for a paycheck at the end of the week. Ergo, no more pithy prognostications. Man lying on hill, not on the level.

 

Lastly, my brother Goose and I decided to skip morning mass on Ash Wednesday once. Spent that hour driving around town in our 55 Olds smoking cigarettes, eating cookies and enjoying our good fortune. (You see how I snuck that in there?). The thing was, being the poor Catholics that we were, we forgot it was Ash Wednesday. So we show up for school as the only two unmarked students in the building. After a hasty barnstorming session, we slipped into the basement men’s room and lit up a couple of smokes, carefully saving the ashes in the palms of our hands. When he had enough ash, we smeared crosses on each other’s forehead and exited stage left only to discover Sister Lydia waiting outside the bathroom door for us. Apparently cigarette smoke is quite noticeable to nuns with large noses. We were toast and our immediate future looked pretty hazy. Needless to say we got our ashes kicked.

 

Mind like parachute, work best when open.

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Aggies7
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Riverbrian
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As we prepare for a home series with the Chicago White Sox there is something amazing happening that I need to let you all know about. I have this thing… I have a few things actually but specifically

Brock Beauchamp
Brock Beauchamp

I'm pretty sure that no player does that, as I believe you're confusing Ash Wednesday with Good Friday.

Craig Arko Wichita Wind Surge

Craig Arko

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In Iron Man 3, the sardonically villainous Mandarin, played by Ben Kingsley, mentions the cookie's origin, stating: "True story about fortune cookies—they look Chinese, they sound Chinese. But they're actually an American invention, which is why they're hollow, full of lies and leave a bad taste in the mouth." Later his character says "Did you know fortune cookies aren't even Chinese? They're made by Americans, based on a Japanese recipe."

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Bark's Lounge Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

Bark's Lounge

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I won’t get a team shirt unless I have been to the stadium… that’s my rule.
Here is the entire list of team shirts that I have yet to purchase. Yankees, Rays, Blue Jays, Astros, Angels, A’s, Phillies, Marlins, Nationals, Reds, Cardinals, Dodgers, Padres, Rockies, D-Backs and White Sox.
So… what is the purpose of this long story? This has been going on long enough, it is obviously real and I’m thinking of starting a fund me page to purposely get me to the other stadiums so I will have all shirts for total control and will therefore…

I don't know Brian.

 

Maybe you have some form of amnesia or had a few too many adult beverages on this day. But I am pretty damn sure you have been to a Sux game in Chicago and purchased a T-shirt as well.

post-1070-0-42756200-1492205487_thumb.jpg

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sampleSizeOfOne MVP

sampleSizeOfOne

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I don't know Brian.

 

Maybe you have some form of amnesia or had a few too many adult beverages on this day. But I am pretty damn sure you have been to a Sux game in Chicago and purchased a T-shirt as well.

GRRB.jpg

How long has it been Gaurenteed Rate field? For some reason i thought that was recent. I think that picture must be the future.

 

Bark, you been holding out on us? Already know how the season ends?

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Bark's Lounge Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

Bark's Lounge

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How long has it been Gaurenteed Rate field? For some reason i thought that was recent. I think that picture must be the future.

Bark, you been holding out on us? Already know how the season ends?

Your going to have to ask Brian about that. I didn't take the picture. I know some people who know some people. That is how I acquired the pic. But, I think you are on to something Sample Size and we need to get to the bottom of this mystery.

 

Brian might have too much technological power in his hands... that could be deadly. ;)

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sampleSizeOfOne MVP

sampleSizeOfOne

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Your going to have to ask Brian about that. I didn't take the picture. I know some people who know some people. That is how I acquired the pic. But, I think you are on to something Sample Size and we need to get to the bottom of this mystery.

 

Brian might have too much technological power in his hands... that could be deadly. ;)

So... Brian knows who wins... so he knows what shirts not to wear.

 

That is how it works. Pretty incuous use of future knowledge.

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Circus Boy First Round Pick

Circus Boy

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I notice at most stores, polo shirts are neatly folded on a shelf and golf shirts are on hangers. Why the difference??? Basically they are the same, but why the difference in display???

 

My wife and I own and operate a clothing store. We hang all our polos and golf shirts. Don't know why others do it differently.

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Jerr GCL Twins

Jerr

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My wife and I own and operate a clothing store. We hang all our polos and golf shirts. Don't know why others do it differently.

CIRCUS BOY    :)   and for your update: No score as the game hasn't started, so Twins 0, Soxs 0.

Good to hang both types of polo/golf shirts.

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Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

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I don't know Brian.

 

Maybe you have some form of amnesia or had a few too many adult beverages on this day. But I am pretty damn sure you have been to a Sux game in Chicago and purchased a T-shirt as well.

attachicon.gifGRRB.jpg

 

My wife is going to ask about that tattoo and I'm not going to have an answer for her. 

 

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spinowner Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

spinowner

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5. Fortune Cookies – They used to have predictions in them… “Stay away from people named Carole”… 

Now you are really tempting fate. You do realize that ChiTown will read this, and, well, I don't want to be around when that happens.

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spinowner Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

spinowner

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1. Good Friday – My wife is a faithful practicing Catholic… I’m Lutheran so you can say that I’m a little more relaxed. She reminded me last night that it was Good Friday… so I got up at 3AM this morning to beat the crowd and buy me a new TV. My wife explained that I confused it with Black Friday and went on to explain that Good Friday meant that we were having fish for supper tonight.
 

I once had a Lutheran friend who delighted in telling all the Catholics he knew that he gave up fish for Lent.

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Bark's Lounge Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

Bark's Lounge

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My wife is going to ask about that tattoo and I'm not going to have an answer for her. 

Tell her it's my fault as you eat your fish sticks while watching her eat a Halibut and Lobster dinner.

 

Edit: Can you eat all seafood on Friday if you are Catholic During Lent?

Edited by Bark's Lounge
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