Funny, I don't remember posting that on facebook...

 

Man, if I had a dollar...

 

Son-of-Sal with a two-out RBI single.

 

Is there no end to the humiliation?

There's always next year. Yes, take that however you wish.

 

Man, if I had a dollar...

...the IRS would put a lien on your property until you proved the innocent provenance of said dollar..

Supermarket after-hours conversation:

 

broccoli:  "I look just like a tree."

 

mushroom:  "I look just like an umbrella."

 

walnut:  "I look like a brain."

 

banana:  "No comment."

To get a banana to talk, torture is often the only way. Water boarding is useless against a banana, but peeling away some skin often turns them to mush!

I've been trying to eat healthier, and found a great recipe for tofu:

 

1.  Chuck the tofu

 

2.  Throw a steak on the grill.

 

To get a banana to talk, torture is often the only way.

Proponents prefer to call it 'enhanced mastication'.

 

History in the making tonight folks.

We are in this together!  Long after we're all senile with grandkids we can actually say we lived through this year.  I'll never forget you guys.  We are the last line of fans...  The commitment, tears, vomiting, anger, frustration and alcohol...

 

Here's to hope and not delusion next year!

 

P.S. Pohlad owes us all season tickets for this crap.  

 

I've been trying to eat healthier, and found a great recipe for tofu:

 

1.  Chuck the tofu

 

2.  Throw a steak on the grill.

Cook it until rare.  Bloody is good!  Helps with the cholesterol.  

 

I've been trying to eat healthier, and found a great recipe for tofu:

 

1.  Chuck the tofu

 

2.  Throw a steak on the grill.

Same recipe I use. 

 

P.S. Pohlad owes us all season tickets for this crap.  

If you sell him on your reparations idea and he lets us pick the year, let me know so I can set aside some dates in 2019.

Bottom 5, two out. 

 

Time to pull Gibby.

 

 

 

P.S. Pohlad owes us all season tickets for this crap.  

Sounds like an even swap.

I'll take my share of the blame, for switching to a cheaper laundry detergent. Made some bad choices with ironing too, come to think of it.

 

http://www.topinspired.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fade-Scorch-Marks.png

Lew Ford?

We are in this together!  Long after we're all senile with grandkids we can actually say we lived through this year.  I'll never forget you guys.  We are the last line of fans...  The commitment, tears, vomiting, anger, frustration and alcohol...

 

Here's to hope and not delusion next year!

 

P.S. Pohlad owes us all season tickets for this crap.

 

. I am there already. I have grandkids, and my wife thinks I'm senile!

Merrifield not reaching that Gibson outside curve in the dirt swinging the bat with Kareem Abdul Jabbar's arms. Or Kareem's legs with hands on the end, for that matter.

 

Bottom 5, two out. 

 

Time to pull Gibby.

Now don't get sarcastic.  We're only in the 5th and we have not lost more than 102 games this year.

 

Feel better now?  Gabby is walking people.  I feel better already.

I, for one, am not senile.  And furthermore, I am not senile.

 

 The commitment, tears, vomiting, anger, frustration and alcohol...

I think we may have camped next to you at Itasca State Park!

 

I, for one, am not senile.  And furthermore, I am not senile.

I, for one, am not ruling out dementia. 

Bottom 5, two out. 

 

Time to pull Gibby.

No reason to get pi*^y! Take a deep breath, tell us a joke? On second thought, just get pi^*y!

I got pulled over on the way home from work today.  The cop asked me if I'd been drinking, and I sorta just him'd and haw'd and he finally asked me "Sir, you were weaving, and I'm suspicious since you came out of that bar up the road. The legal limit is a blood alcohol level of 0.8. How long do you think it would take you to get to a blood alcohol level of 0.8?"

 

I looked at the guy, and calmly replied, "Well, officer, I don't know for sure, but let's try 24 hours without a drink and see where we're at."

 

We're only in the  a 5th and we have not lost more than 102 games  days this year.

 

 

Fixed for worst case thread participation.

 

 

I, for one, am not ruling out dementia. 

It's always good to have a backup plan.

I, for one, am not ruling out dementia.

 

But I do think a Group Diagnosis of Mass Delusion with Sophmoric Humour as a contributing factor would be also possible?

A catcher threw someone out? Whoa!

 

But I do think a Group Diagnosis of Mass Delusion with Sophmoric Humour as a contributing factor would be also possible?

2016 Twins fans...

 

Wait?! We scored a run?

 

How'd that happen?

Y'know that awesome, mouthwatering smell from a steak on the grill?

 

I wonder if vegans get that same feeling when they mow the grass.

But I do think a Group Diagnosis of Mass Delusion with Sophmoric Humour as a contributing factor would be also possible?

You are all fig newtons of the imagination.

While nothing is like it used to be, I still like Fig Newtons on occasion.