Recipe for Chicken Dinnah

As prepared in Kitchen ... er ... I mean Kauffman Stadium on Tuesday the 8th of September; watch live on TV on FS-N or listen on Go 96.3, TIBN, or BOB FM starting 7:10 PM CT.

 

 

Bake for three hours or until Twins win at 78°; baste lightly depending on conditions.

 

 

Ingredients:

 

TWINS (71-66):

1. Hicks RF

2. Dozier 2B

3. Mauer 1B

4. Plouffe 3B

5. Rosario LF

6. Hunter DH

7. Escobar SS

8. Hermann C

9. Buxton CF

 

Kyle Gibson, RHP (9-9, 3.84 ERA)

 

ROYALS (82-55):

1. Zobrist 2B

2. Gordon LF

3. Cain CF

4. Hosmer 1B

5. Morales DH

6. Moustakas 3B

7. Perez C

8. Rios RF

9. Escobar SS

 

Edinson Volquez, RHP (12-7, 3.53 ERA)

 

 

Preparation:

 

Step 1) The Chicken: The first thing I did this morning was head to the grocery store to buy a chicken for our Chicken Dinnah tonight. The first one to catch my eye was Sano because he certainly does look like the way to go with his size and numbers and history and all, but then I remembered something my mom has always told me ... the little chicken always tastes better. Now in all honesty I have a hard time grasping that concept; I'm a firm believer that the bigger the bird, the better it will be in the long run, but I figured that it couldn't hurt to just take a peep further down the row and see what was out there. Would you believe it … there was Escobar who's basically been carrying the team on his own lately. Just yesterday, for example, he reached base on four separate occasions and drove in three runs, leading the Twins to a 6-2 win over the Royals. I thought about it for a while and then decided, you know ... just for today a little chicken will suffice.

 

Step 2) Cleaning the bird: Last September Terry Ryan decided that it was time to do a thorough fall cleaning of his coaching staff. By the time he was done firing and rehiring, the only people who had neither gotten the boot for good nor changed positions were Tom Brunansky and Nate Dammann. Either Dammann should be proud of that obvious distinction or else Terry figured that a bullpen catcher is a bullpen catcher … it doesn't matter if it's Dammann or Lueger or Scholz. It's all the same.

 

Step 3) Seasoning: Spices seem to be a fairly controversial subject the world over. Not everybody agrees on which spices are the best, and sometimes people think they'd like to see those spices rinsed down the drain to never return. But that's because they've never tried the chicken without any spices, and if they have, the experience was so horrible they successfully wiped all memory of it from the hard drive of their brain and can't remember it anymore for love or money. But I'm telling you now, once and for all … it doesn't matter what those spices are; it doesn’t even have to be more than just a little salt and pepper (salt's a spice, yes? no?), but the chicken's going to be downright inedible without any. You might not like Hunter, but believe me when I say that he's spiced up this team, and it's not just the bird that matters. Of course the chicken is a vital ingredient, but it's not Chicken Dinnah until you add those spices. And sometimes that spice comes in the form of a "seasoned" veteran.

 

Step 4) The oven: Coming off his best start in what seems to be an absolute age, Kyle Gibson just might be heating up again in time for some meaningful September games. If you’re interested in patterns, he seems to pitch really well when we’re playing the Royals … or not so well. And when he doesn’t do so well, the Twins pitchers seem to have an agreement to allow no more and no less than 7 runs in the game, so it might be prudent for the offense to plan on scoring at least 8 runs this game. It would also be appreciated if Kyle plans on going 8 scoreless like he did last time he took on the Royals, but I won’t expect that because no matter what I expect the Twins to do, they always surprise me by doing just the opposite.

 

Edinson Volquez, on the other hand, isn’t exactly fresh out of the oven. After being cooked at a high temperature which equated to 11 wins and 7 losses, Volquez was pulled out of the oven on August 23rd and left on the counter to cool down. Unfortunately, he was forgotten in the excitement of the Royals’ offense, and he turned quite cold and the fat congealed, so five days later he was stuck back in the oven and reheated, picking up his most recent win. He was pulled out again on September 3rd and the parents looked at him and said, “You know, we don’t want leftovers again … let’s go out to eat and have the kids finish this instead.” So they set him on the table and the kids looked at him and said, “Not Volquez again,” and they stared gloomily at their plates as he got colder and colder and salted him until the goodness of the salt outweighed the badness of Volquez 15-7 (much to the chagrin of both Twins and Tigers fans), but by the 4th inning they'd had enough and said, “Okay, let’s just put the rest in the fridge and we can reheat him next week.” Well, apparently the time has come, and they’re preheating the oven as I type this right now. The Twins need to heat up their bats to counter the attempt to make leftovers last that long, or else there'll be no Chicken Dinnah for us tonight.

 

Step 5) Forks: One could argue that you don't need a fork for your Chicken Dinnah, but that would be an invalid point. If you use your fingers to eat your chicken, it's not Chicken Dinnah. Chicken wings are not Chicken Dinnah; they are merely Chicken Wings or, to be more exact, Chicken Appetizers. Now that I've successfully established the idea that Chicken Dinnah must be eaten with a fork, here's your final step in the instructions for Chicken Dinnah: Stick a fork in it and enjoy!

 

 

Serves: 37,903 … but expect some leftovers.

 

Nutrition facts: Scientific studies have shown that you burn more calories than you take in with this meal, so go ahead and indulge!

I feel chubby already. Of course, I did before too. The way Sano has been struggling lately, I wonder if he gets a day off in favor of Vargas soon.

Sano needs a day or two off.

Sano could use some time off, agreed, and Kennys could use some at bats so he can get back into the groove of mashing some taters (speaking of dinnah)..

With the obvious exception of Hunter in for an ailing Sano at DH, and never wanting our backup catcher even though our starter is no great shakes either, I like this lineup a lot!

I don't wanna Sano to ail either.

 

But i'm lookin' forward to the youngsters in the outfield...

Always, you forgot the giblet gravy.

 

That's it, out of the kitchen. 

 

No chicken for you!!

 

 

No Vargas? Guess they think Hunter is swinging a 'hot' bat right now.

 

 

Always, you forgot the giblet gravy.

 

That's it, out of the kitchen. 

 

No chicken for you!!

 

With my unexpected bumper crop of serrano's and jalapeno's It's like San Diego around here, with all the Tex-Mex I've been banging out.

Edited September 8, 201511 yr by Gibby

Torii is way down there on my list of DH options;

No hurt Dozier.

Disappointing PA's from the 3 and 4 hitters.

 

 

Well that sucked

Yep I'm going to do something else

a fork-filled start for the good guys ...

 

Why does Plouffe hit in to so many double plays. 

 

I'm gonna go with... He hits it on the ground with a runner on first way too often and he's slow. 

 

That's Me... Captain Obvious. I've gotta go find a decent cape to wear. 

I blame Mauer

In my opinion... Gibby could have helped us a little more this inning. 

This game is over.  It was a fun 20 minutes.  When you get your first 2 men on base and then your 23 million dollar man strikes out followed up by the most predictable double play ever its a bad start.  6 pitches later the bases are loaded and everyone's spirits are down.  9-1 KC win.  HR by Escobar for our only run.

Holy sucktastical hell!

Even Palfrey isn't this bad.

Oh dear. Gibson's going to give up his rotation spot to Hughes at this rate.

 

Pelfrey is breathing a sigh of relief...

 

 

In my opinion... Gibby could have helped us a little more this inning. 

 

  Sorry, I was out on the patio making my wife think I wasn't watching the game.

Even Pelfrey isn't this bad.

Just tuned in.  We must be really confident, spotting KC 4+ runs at the gate.

Many Twins pitchers have had "convenient" injuries (after a period of "suck").  There was talk of Pelfrey being replaced by Hughes (when he returns) while Duffet stays in the rotation.  What's the chance that Gibson lands on the DL?

 

Even Pelfrey isn't this bad.

Oh, He can be!

an out!

One Out... Now it can start getting better. 

Could've been worse?

 

( glass half full )