(Submitted To the Guild of Twinsdaily Game Thread Intro Writers for approval as Master Writer of Game Thread Intros with all the rights and privileges pertaining there to. And the silly hat. Must have one.)

0. "We the Posters of the Twins Daily, in Order to enjoy a more perfect Game, establish Camaraderie, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common entertainment, promote the general Knowledge of Baseball, and secure the Pursuit of Happiness to ourselves and our Posts - eary, earier, or otherwise, do ordain and establish this Thread for the Game pitting the Twins of Minnesota against the Host, the Astros of Houston, this September 6th, in the year of Buxton/Sano 1"

1. Tyler Duffey, locate thy fastball such that Astro's batters don't. At least not precisely. Also thy curve ball, as per Suzuki's calls and set ups.

2. Figure this here Dallas (in Houston?) Keuchel out as a team. Doesn't help so much when one person goes 3 for 3 with 3 triples if no one else can get him in. Whereas 6 consecutive outless at bats goes a long ways towards winning the game, no matter how weak.

3. Get to the ball. Catch it. Throw it as per established force and cut off practices. Repeat. All are important, and how last night's game ended is a good indicator of how important it is. Ah, fielding...

4. So... i guess it all boils down to: "Play ball!" Wait a minute. Surely the Twins aren't reading this... Why am i addressing it to them? Besides, i bet they've heard it, and better said, from people who know more than me. I guess it's a convenient literary device? Yeah, i suppose that's all it is.

5. Game Threads. This is one. Game Thread, meet Twins Daily Posters. Posters, meet Game Thread. Now that you've been introduced, you can talk all ya want!
 

Anyway the playahs:

Twins
0. Tyler Duffey {R} P
1. Aaron Hicks {S} LF
2. Brian Dozier {R} 2B
3. Joe Mauer {L} 1B
4. Miguel Sano {R} DH
5. Trevor Plouffe {R} 3B
6. Torii Hunter {R} RF
7. Eduardo Escobar {S} SS
8. Kurt Suzuki {R} C
9. Byron Buxton {R} CF

Astros

0. Dallas Keuchel {L} P
1. Jose Altuve {R} 2B
2. Jed Lowrie {S} 3B
3. Carlos Correa {R} SS
4. Evan Gattis {R} DH
5. Colby Rasmus {L} RF
6. Carlos Gomez {R} CF
7. Marwin Gonzalez {S} LF
8. Luis Valbuena {L} 1B
9. Hank Conger {S} C

Gametime Forecast: 89°F - Mostly Cloudy - 12% PoP (Outside)

 

Brought to you in 9 acts, with a possible extemporaneous sequel following immediately without intermission.

Oh well. I guess it isn't so bad being an apprentice...

Looks like Mr. Springer gets the day off after his blunderous day.  Probably wasn't quite ready to come back.

Why not sit Mauer and play Vargas?

At game. Scoreless tie. CBU.

I can't believe Rosario isn't playing, I don't care what arm a pitcher uses, how can you play Hunter instead of him?

 

Ah veteraness, gotta love it.

 

Anyway, win Twins, go Hunter.

At game. Scoreless tie. CBU.

So Duffy has the shutout in tact?

So Duffy has the shutout in tact?

And a very tactful shutout at that.

And a very tactful shutout at that.

Deserves a shoutout then.

Deserves a shoutout then.

hoping it doesn't turn into a shootout.

BTW...not to worry...Hunter's got this.

Am I wrong to say that the pregame host on FSN is easy on the eyes?

 

Nice to be able to watch 2 straight games on an HD screen.

BTW...not to worry...Hunter's got this.

What, me worry?

 

BTW, they say it's Star Wars day at Minute Maid. Chief, are you thematically garbed?

 

If not, how would ya be if you were?

Am I wrong to say that the pregame host on FSN is easy on the eyes?

 

Nice to be able to watch 2 straight games on an HD screen.

Is it Ron Coomer?

 

Is it Ron Coomer?

 

Ummmmm, no.

Now Duffey mounts the mound...

 

I can't believe Rosario isn't playing, I don't care what arm a pitcher uses, how can you play Hunter instead of him?

Ah veteraness, gotta love it.

Anyway, win Twins, go Hunter.

 

I'm guessing that as long as Rosario Hicks and Buxton are performing and healthy. Hunter will probably play against most Lefties. Otherwise it'll be the younger 3. 

Nice start for the hometown kid.  He's gonna have to keep matching 0's since I don't see Keuchel bending anytime soon.

CBU:

 

Scoreless tie continues into the second inning.

Tyler Duffey brought his good curve today. That's a very good sign.

Sano lost a little of that discipline there. 

Wow, it's true. Dallas Keuchel really does pitch like Frank Viola. The man is an artist.

There's Hunter's hit for the day. Might as well pinch-run Rosario now.

Good Call putting Hunter in the lineup. 

Looks like Dallas Keuchel throws a lot of fade-left change up's off the left corner of the plate. Fooled the ump on at least one of them. Almost like a screw ball the way it breaks.

Rasmus reminds me of the kid on the motorcycle in Bad News Bears.

The home plate ump gave at least a couple of those outside pitches to Dallas Keuchel. I hate inconsistent plate umpires.

Chief, got costume?

 

 

I'm already getting really pissed at the plate umpire. He's screwing Tyler Duffey on those outer half pitches.

 

Sano lost a little of that discipline there. 

I have noticed that too, especially his 2 strike discipline he had been showing.

 

I'm already getting really pissed at the plate umpire. He's screwing Tyler Duffey on those outer half pitches.

 

 

Yep, he hosed Tyler on 2 pitches in that last half inning.  Classic case of the ump having a preconceived notion that a rookie pitcher doesn't get those calls but an established one like Keuchel does.  That's why 75% of the current umpiring crew needs to be replaced (and give a job to me!!).