Game Thread, Twins Vs. Indians, 8/15 @ 6:10pm CT‏

 

Going for Chief Wahoo - Josh Tomlin (0-0, ERA --)

Going for the Ted Cruz Bear - Tyler Duffey (0-1, ERA 27.00)

 

Things to think about:

Being absent - I have been absent from TD for about 6 weeks now, (you don't need to know why, but it could have something to do with nerd sniping) but it seems that a lot has happened since I was gone, such as Kevin Jepsen arriving, Spirit of Vodka Dave going to the Happy Hunting Grounds, and the Twins falling well behind the Royals, but I happen to have some top secret information about the Jepsen trade, so I'll get to that below.

 

The Trade - On July 29th, a Tampa Bay Rays scout was kidnapped by members of the Twins front office, the reason for this was because Neil Allen had told Terry Ryan that the Rays were using some new found scientific information to help them alter their pitchers to become strikeout machines, but since it will take to long to go about explaining how it works I will go on to what happened during the afternoon of July 30th.

 

On the afternoon of July 30th, the Twins front office members were discussing things. This is what happened, according to my highly reliable source. Terry Ryan was standing in front of his desk, while Rob Antony was sitting in a chair across the room, with an intern standing to his right, after Antony informed Ryan that the kidnapping had been successful, Ryan replied, "This is wonderful news! Everything is positioning nicely." Antony then said, "Think we will have any luck getting our guest to spill his guts?" Ryan replied, "His guts will spill, one way or another." At this moment the scout, who was behind Antony's desk shouts, "Never! I'll never talk!" To which Ryan says, "You are beginning to irk me! Rays scout, I am irked! And that will not do." Then Ryan said, "Has the package arrived? I think it would make our dear friend a bit more communicative." Rob Antony then said, "I'm sending an intern to pick it up." And with that Ryan replied "Gooorgeous!! Have him bring it to me."

 

On July 31st the intern returned with the Tampa Bay supercomputer, and Ryan and Antony immediately got to work, trying to find out how to make their pitchers strikeout machines, but what they didn't know, was that Matt Silverman had sent Kevin Jepsen to retrieve his computer, and as he opened the door to the Twins bullpen (which is where they were operating from), Terry turned around and said, "Such devotion, it brings tears to my eyes!" And as Jepsen stepped into the trap that is the Twins bullpen Ryan said, "Your GM's discoveries could be of great use to our organization." Meanwhile Matt Silverman was watching via a drone, and he immediately called Ryan and told him the he could keep Jepsen and the supercomputer if he would send Chih-wei Hu and Alexis Tapia in return, so Ryan agreed, and as the deal was finalized Ryan shouted with glee, "World domination is within my grasp!!" But what he didn't know was that the supercomputer was fake, and that the Rays intentionally sent Jepsen to retrieve it because they wanted to get him off their hands.

 

Emails - The reason I happen to know about this is because Terry Ryan had been conducting trade negotiations through his own private email server instead of the one the Twins had created for him. Somehow the Cardinals got ahold of his passwords and got into his account, they then released it to all the other teams, and posted it online. When Ryan was informed about this, he couldn't decide how to get out of this dilemma, so he decided to consult Rob Antony, and they decided that if the general public found out, and started comparing them to Hilary Clinton, they would do what Bill would do and say, "I never emailed."

 

http://media.cleveland.com/tribe_impact/photo/s0603tribeajpg-97a090ea9a7f59ce.jpg

Lineups and weather...

 

This afternoon: Sunny and hot, with a high near 94. Heat index values as high as 97. South wind around 15 mph.

Tonight: Mostly clear, with a low around 73. South wind 10 to 15 mph.

Edited August 15, 201511 yr by Hrbowski

That's some good intel, there, Hrbowski.

 

I'm making a call...Duffey with fewer than 2 home runs, and will last longer than May did last night.

Apropos of nothing...if Toronto can rip off an 11-game win streak, why not the Twins?

Apropos of nothing...if Toronto can rip off an 11-game win streak, why not the Twins?

Maybe 8 or 9, 11 might be a bit much!

Very imaginative intro. I like it.

 

Twins, Vikings, Dr.Who special; gonna be a lot of switching tonight.

 

 he could keep Jepsen and the supercomputer if he would send Chih-wei Hu and Alexis Tapia in return, so Ryan agreed, and as the deal was finalized Ryan shouted with glee, "World domination is within my grasp!!" But what he didn't know was that the supercomputer was fake, and that the Rays intentionally sent Jepsen to retrieve it because they wanted to get him off their hands.

However, in a last ditch effort of espionage, Ryan was able to disguise a food blender as a baseball glove and stuff one into both players' luggage after they were packed. This caused Chih Wei Hu to lacerate his left hand when he tried to put it on. Ryan is sneakier than you think.

Rookie on the mound, which means the twins will either score 8 runs off him or zero. No chance of anything inbetween. Let's hope for the former. Also I hardly went anywhere, just changed the name to be shorter...

Bad Guys:

 

Jose Enrique Ramirez 2B

Francisco Miguel Lindor SS

Yan Gomes DH

Carlos Santana 1B

Giovanny Urshela 3B

Abraham Almonte CF

Roberto Pérez C

Lonnie David Chisenhall RF

Michael Anthony Avilés LF

 

Good Guys:

 

Aaron Michael Hicks CF

James Brian Dozier 2B

Joseph Patrick Mauer C

Miguel Ángel Sanó Jean DH

Trevor Patrick Plouffe 3B

Torii Kedar Hunter RF

Eddie Manuel Rosario LF

Christopher Ryan Herrmann C

Eduardo José Escobar SS

 

Nice start for Duffey.

Nice start for Duffey.

.500 OBP against is certainly an inprovement

Oh boy.

 

We're a-comin' to bat!

My sister just told me that she used to think that when the announcers said "changeup" they were really saying "chain jump." I think I have a new member title ....

 

Rookie on the mound, which means the twins will either score 8 runs off him or zero. No chance of anything inbetween. Let's hope for the former. Also I hardly went anywhere, just changed the name to be shorter...

Rookie??

Who's looking forward to the contract extension for Hunter that will be announced Monday?

Rookie??

I'm an idiot. I saw the 0.00 era and forgot that he isn't a rookie, rather just a mediocre arm. The same thought of (0 or 13 runs) still applies.

Pitchers duel?

 

0-0 after 2...

looks to me like the twins have three hits in the last 14 innings -- all by joe mauer.

At least Mauer is faster than Plouffe.

Time to put Hunter out to pasture

 

 

At least Mauer is faster than Plouffe.

Ouch.

Duffey looks... Strong!

Yeah, Rosario!!!

Rosario looks...strong!

I should watch the Vikings more often.

Liking these HR to RF...

 

First Rosario

 

Then Herrmann

 

(Unexpected)

I did not see that coming. way to go herrrrrmannnnnn

What about Herrmann?

I should watch the Vikings more often.

How they lookin'?

herrmann monster.